Husband is preparing for "end of world"

[Keira8]

This is my first thread. I am so unsure on how to even start with my issue....well I think it's an issue. Very confused!
I have been with my Husband for 19 years, married for 13. Have 3 wonderful daughters aging between 11 years and 6 years. I was very much besotted with my husband, but over the past few years he has changed, and I honestly don't know what to do.
Whilst I was pregnant with my youngest, my husband started to tell me that within 6 months a world war was going to happen, and so we had to store as much food as possible so that we could survive. 6 months went past, nothing happened, then the date changed and we had to carry on storing food and essentials. I was on maternity leave and couldn't afford this extra "just in case" food.
Then a year later, he brought a weapon (I have no clue where it is kept) incase we get attacked!
Basically from this, it has gone from bad to worse. I have tried for years to get him to see a doctor, but he thinks I am mad for not believing him. He constantly sends me videos on how the terrorist attacks are in fact propaganda, and the government are doing this to scare us!
He doesn't talk to me, he preaches and belittles me about it.
He now tells our eldest about what he believes, and I am worried its affecting her. I am on anti-depressants, and I now think he is the reason.
I have fallen out of love with him, but in his state I am worried leaving him will send him over the edge. I haven't been happy for a long time now, but have always tried talking to him and sorting our issues out. I feel like I am the bad person, as I honestly believes he needs help, and I don't want my girls being raised in an broken home.
Has anyone else ever had this situation? I feel so alone. I am always walking on egg shells with him. Not sure how much more I can take. x

Any body watch doomsday prepers on Netflix?
I think it depends how far it goes. Some can be harmless. Some absolutely mental.

Having a little food stored up, non issue could be helpful even if you just have bad snow.

Keeping machetes and guns in the wardrobe I would leave ASAP

Fucking hell @Winona45 you poor thing. Well done for getting yourself as safe as possible that must have been really scary

Your husband is clearly very mentally ill. And yes that's going to negatively impact your kids, uou and your home environment.

He doesn't know he has a problem, because he is very mentally unwell. His mind has him believing the stuff he says.

You on the other hand are not mentally unwell, from why we know. So for your sake, and your kids, you need to move away from him. He isn't going to seek help. It's just going to keep going, and you can't bring him kids in this kind of chaotic environment.

You don't have to do absolutely everything all at once.

Take 2 steps NOW.

1. Get out and stay in a hotel
2. Ring GP, mention safeguarding, weapons.

They have a duty of care. A DUTY.

So many posts .I'm going to copy this one so it doesn't get overlooked

busface999 Mon 02-Dec-19 12:49:15
I work in mental health. I echo what others have said about removing your children from this situation. You say you would worry about your husband. That is understandable but your children simply must come first.

You are your husband's Nearest Relative under the Mental Health Act. Contact your local crisis team/adult social care and say that you are exercising your right to request an assessment under the Act. They have a duty to consider your request and cannot dismiss your concerns

@Keira8

"Good lord, I really don’t want to scare you but sometimes people suffering from this type of delusion believe the only way to keep their family ‘safe’ is to kill them so no one can do them any harm.

Completely fucked up thinking but sadly it happens. Ring Women’s Aid for advice, ring MIND, ring the police about the crossbow and apply for an emergency anti molestation order. I am worried about your safety should you decide to end your marriage."

This ^.

Please pay attention to the posters who are flagging 'family annihilation'. What you've described sounds utterly terrifying. You suggest that leaving is a scary process for you but staying in that house, with a husband suffering severe MH issues and storing lethal weapons has got to be more scary. Please get yourself and your DCs to a place of safety as soon as possible - your DCs can't remove themselves - they are depending on you to do that. Keep your plans secret - your DH may become more dangerous if he knows you're going. NO discussions with him about this. Protecting your DCs and yourself comes ahead of protecting him. They may be heartbroken but the possible alternatives are so much worse. If you need to explain anything to your DCs, you can do it in terms which are respectful of your DH i.e. that he is ill and needs some time to heal and that is easier for him to do so if he has some time alone. And NO unsupervised access unless and until it becomes clear he has sorted himself out.

Pack important documents, money and some clothes today, if you have time, but just get out. Today, if possible. Go to family or friends. Call the police from there and tell them about the weapons. You owe this to your DCs. At the moment, you are all in danger.

It doesn't matter if he seems amenable to reason some of the time. He only needs to lose it once with the crossbow and that could be it for all of you.

Good luck.

I am not going to comment on your husband and your safety because I honestly don't know how to assess these.

But what I can tell you is that it is never better for children to grow up in an unhappy home with a parent who makes everyone walk on eggshells. It will be stressful and traumatic to leave and bring the girls up as a single parent. And in the beginning they may well be resistant.

But I know too many people who grew up with parents who stayed together for "the kids sake" and I can assure you, it did them no good.

And as your DDs get older, they will know their father is strange and weird. They will feel the pressure o having to appease him and they will find being in the family home scary and stressful. Removing yourself and them from this situation where you are all unhappy, walking on eggshells and you are having to hide your husband's behaviour (I'm just guessing here but...), is not good for anyone.

Read The Bible?

What's a mental tag?

He constantly sends me videos on how the terrorist attacks are in fact propaganda, and the government are doing this to scare us! He doesn't talk to me, he preaches and belittles me about it.

If you are in the UK, he may well be holding the weapon illegally - it might be worth checking in with your local police (if you're in the US, well ....)

One of the common denominators in terrorists (of the Columbine shooting kind ie the usual kind of white male killers) is that they were also first domestically violent and abusive.

Please be careful - take local advice about yours and your children's safety.

So you'd rather run the risk of him killing your kids to in his eyes 'protect them' in order to save them from being unhappy????

OP this is psychosis. Please DO SOMETHING to protect your kids

www.ndtv.com/topic/man-kills-family

that i find your way of thinking a bit odd too tbh, it might bring you comfort, nothing wrong with that, but no one knows how the world will end and most of us are too busy getting on with living to be concern about.

@Shesalittlemadam I honestly don't believe he will harm our kids. He has never been violent towards me or children. If I had ever thought they were in danger then I would never seek advice, I would have left years ago without even thinking about it.

Swopping one obsession for the another isn't the way forward ( ie the Bible). I hope OP doesn't get anymore bullshit posts from the deluded - it is not what she needs.

I am a serious prepper.

I know plenty of preppers who have weapons & wives who are NOT scared of them.
You are not scared because he is a prepper.
You are scared because he is not well.

Get out, get your children out and get safe.
Don't let him know you are going.

Then get him help if you can.

You and your children are in serious danger
Do not wait to see how things will pan out as you / and or your children will be dead by then. This is a miserable fucked up way to live and will fuck your kids heads I
When you leave you must take serious steps to stay safe and your kids can only have access in an access centre or preferably no contact at all

All the victims in those articles never expected nor believed their husbands capable either!! When I’m psychosis - ANYTHING goes. They believe they’re protecting you & them

@Thatagain

I wouldn't make him go to the doctors as they will most likely put a mentol tag on him.

I have bipolar, you can call it a "mental tag" but it's a professional diagnosis. It allows access to appropriate services that provide professional support.

People like you describing a "mental tag" are the ones who perpetuate the stigma around mental health. A diagnosis is nothing to be ashamed of.

The bible is highly unlikely to make a man paranoid about the government and false flags to get perspective and adapt his behaviour. Or get rid of a crossbow in a house where kids live.

Saying people who clearly struggle with their mental health that reading the bible to their "only help" is not just patronising, it shows a total lack of awareness around mental health.

Would a higher power want OP to be unhappy, frightened and feel guilty for her own feelings when they are totally understandable? She has tried for a long time to support her husband and he won't even consider tackling his own issues. She deserves a life outside of this relationship.

Keira8

You are clearly reluctant to leave, or call the GP this afternoon.

Why is that?

Well
My friends dh became convinced that the world was going to end due to a specific technology
He ended up being convicted of harming her and her children and was given a suspended sentence and a permanent no contact order for her and the children.
Wake up I would say.

I honestly don't believe he will harm our kids. He has never been violent towards me or children

How many wives believed this about their eventual Family Annihilators?
Most of them had never harmed anyone ... until they broke, & murdered their families.

Even without that stark consideration, living with a father who everyone has to walk on eggshells around is FAR more damaging to children than starting a new, safe, & sane life with their mum.

Please start contacting the agencies pp have mentioned, OP.
This is no way for you or the girls to live.

@Keira8, the people who are highlighting family annihilation parallels aren't raising them on the basis that they believe that your husband would want to hurt you and your children. That is exactly the problem - among family annihilators, the paranoid people in the grip of escalating psychosis often kill their families because they genuinely believe, in their desperate and confused state, that this is the only way to protect them.

A man with a history of DV perpetration or violence towards family members would be LESS likely to fit this profile.

Just to be clear my first paragraph there was supposed to be in bold as it was a quote from @Thatagain

I wouldn't make him go to the doctors as they will most likely put a mentol tag on him.

hand on heart do not believe he would hurt my children. He is besotted with them

When I was a child, one of my friends was murdered by her mum. Her mum adored her and no one would ever have thought they were in danger, but mental illness meant her mum saw murder-suicide as the right thing to do. Please don't ignore what's happening OP, it's not worth the risk