So angry with my sister!

[Spacebound]

Hi everyone,

I am just looking for a bit of advice please. My Niece was born in June this year and as a gift we bought her a lovely little dress, I have now just discovered that my sister has given the dress away to her friend as a gift for her newborn (tags still attached as though she has bought it new)!!

Now I fully understand that babies will grow out of clothes and they may eventually be passed on to friends/family after a few wears but i just cannot believe that someone could do something so horrible. Even if she had said to me, that dress you bought her doesn’t fit so we have swapped it for something else, I would be disappointed but it’s fine I understand things like that happen but to just pass off a gift bought by her Auntie & Uncle to mark her birth as something you have bought is just awful.

My sister and I don’t have the best relationship, everyone has to tread on eggshells with her all the time so as not to rock the boat as she is prone to just flipping out and causing murder within the family. In my parents eyes she can do no wrong and they won’t have a bad word said, although they no what she is like.

I just don’t know how to approach the situation, I am so hurt and angry I want her to know that I know what she has done but I don’t know how to go about it, any ideas?

Thanks x

By the time my dc were several months old, I'd have been hard pushed to remember my own name, let alone who had given what item of clothing as a gift. Several items never got worn, but I couldn't have told you who they were from, and they all got sent either to the charity shop, sold at the NCT sale or given to other people for their newborns.

We kept very few things for sentimental reasons as keepsakes.

Sorry you feel like this OP, but in the grand scheme of things it is not something to get so worked up over.

If she made a big show of telling her friend she bought the dress especially for her baby then I can see how that's shitty. But passing on a dress with a tag on that she didn't get chance to use isn't the same thing. I can't honestly say I'd care if my SIL re-gifts any of the books or toys I give her for my nephew. I try to pick out things which I think they'd like, but at the end of the day if something's not to their taste or is a duplicate of something I'd rather it get passed on to someone who can use it rather than it go in the bin.

Have you never given an unwanted gift you've received to a charity shop? I'd personally rather quietly do this than faff around returning it.

@Spacebound

@spacebound
I have been in both these situations so I get how you feel!
When my dniece was born I bought a lovely dungaree outfit in 3-6 months. I was very upset when 6months later in preparation for my own baby my sister gave me a bag of hand me downs including this dungaree set with tags still on! I'd really put alot of thought and love into the present and felt utterly rejected and told her so, she burst into tears and told me she had so many lovely clothes bought she hadn't used half of them and couldn't remember where any of them came from!
However when my own son was born I was also the person merrily tripping down to the charity shop 2 massive bags of clothes that mil had bought for ds. None of them worn. Because she hadnt thought of practice or size or season when she'd bought them so for example it was padded suits that would fit him in August, jeans and gillet for newborn, curdoroy (y'know baby sick and all that) etc! With that bag I also donated the very set I'd bought for my dniece, still unworn, because I'd realised how impractical it was! When my best friend announced her baby I bought a nice pack of muslins, some sleep suits, lots of biscuits and I made a lasagne! All of which had a lot of use!

*practical

Someone gave me a lovely newborn white, crochet-lace dress for dd1. Unfortunately she was born in winter, in Sweden and spent her first months in sleepsuits with a fleece sleepsuit on top because the average temperature was minus 25-30C. By the time the spring weather arrived it didn't fit at all.

Op I suspect that you're just looking for a stick to beat your sister with. This is today's. There'll be another one next month.