I don’t find this funny. Am I being uptight?

[Seasideshells]

I don’t like the way dh speaks to me - supposedly in a joking way - some of the time and relating to sex.
So for example he says things like ‘get your knickers off, I want to knock the back out of you.’
And variations on ‘if you walk around looking like that you’ll get it whether you want it or not,’ if I’m walking around in my short pyjamas for example. I don’t like it. I feel generally overall he doesn’t have a great attitude to women - calls them ‘splitarses’ and this is kind of symptomatic of it. I’ve told him I don’t like it but apparently I’m being uptight?

if you walk around looking like that you’ll get it whether you want it or not

You say you're sure he won't rape you. I really hope you're right. But this shows you everything about how he sees women. I would think really hard about a plan to get out. For you and your children.

LTB. But you'll need a plan. Such men don't let go easily.

Don’t know how to get out. That’s mainly why.
MN is here to help you. I hope that by now you realize that your problem with your husband's behaviour has nothing to do with you being "uptight".

I don’t get changed but he doesn’t like it.
Tonight I’m going out for a drink with a friend and he’s told me I look too nice to be going out without him and then did the pointing at his eyes and then at me. It’s not a compliment at all. Saying things like that. It’s not said as a compliment.

then did the pointing at his eyes and then at me

I'm so uncomfortable reading this (and your other posts). I'm sorry you feel like you're stuck, but I'm glad you're seeing it for what it is. I really hope you decide you deserve more.

Banter and flirting is different to “ wether you want it or not” that’s what made his comment sound disgusting tbh.
Never heard the term split arse, very glad I haven’t I’ve never really been around men who use that word or degrade women.
Your op sounds like a nob op sorry.

Jesus.

Sorry your partner is vile and so disrespectful to yourself plz make plans to leave you are worth so much more than this and so do your kids. Keep strong.

He's a bloody monster and it's frightening how you are so matter of fact about all the disgusting things he is doing to you. You don't deserve to be treat like a piece of meat. I hope you manage to find the courage to leave.

He calls women split-arses? That is utterly fucking vile.
As is the way he speaks to you op. I don't think you're uptight at all. It's disgusting.

Sounds like he's ramping up his control OP, I bet he'll keep getting worse....

Split arses? I’ve never even head that before. He sounds repulsive. Sound like you’ve outgrown this vile creep. I’d be having serious thoughts about moving on.

Tonight I’m going out for a drink with a friend and he’s told me I look too nice to be going out without him and then did the pointing at his eyes and then at me

Ugggh he sounds even worse (if that's even possible!)
WTF, that's giving me the creeps just reading it never mind living it!
Like he's insinuating he's going to be watching you too.
Seriously, you deserve better.
Nasty

Wtff. I never have heard of splitarses - what on earth does he think he is talking about? Do we all not have splitarses, male and female? What a total cunt. OP, you say you are not even attractive, but I know that you are 100% more attractive than this miserable piece of shit.

Reading this made me cry. He is disgusting, contemptuous of you, possessive, aggressive, and insinuates he's going to rape you. Get away from him as soon as you safely can - life can be so much better than this 💛

Wtaf OP. I'm appalled. Your DH is disgusting and a misogynist- he doesn't like women and he doesn't respect them, you are a woman so go figure. There is no future for you here other than a second class citizen in your own home OP.

Do not let him normalise this for you and your DC doe gods sake- it is beyond the pale. I don't like to keep into saying this on here but there is no way on God's earth I would put up with this or let the creep anywhere near me. Rape is not a fetish. He's fucking skin crawling OP and I could not feel comfortable anywhere near him.

What would need to happen for you to be able to leave?

He wouldn’t be my husband. Total knob.What does split arse even mean? Never heard that.

I’ve heard splitarse in a very male dominated work environment. This was in the early ‘80s. I can’t believe that this vile term is still in use decades later.

XP used to talk like this sometimes. Does your 'D'P work in a largely male dominated environment where they all throw terms like this about? XP used to call everyone 'robbing cunts' (when the price in a shop was too high), he used splitarse ONCE in my hearing (and hopefully never will again, after my reaction). But he was very unworldly and was constantly reinforced by his workmates that 'all women....' (fill in the blank).

It's disgusting, disrespectful and has either come from porn, from his workmates, or, probably, both.

What's he like if you decline sex with him for any reason?