I don’t find this funny. Am I being uptight?

[Seasideshells]

I don’t like the way dh speaks to me - supposedly in a joking way - some of the time and relating to sex.
So for example he says things like ‘get your knickers off, I want to knock the back out of you.’
And variations on ‘if you walk around looking like that you’ll get it whether you want it or not,’ if I’m walking around in my short pyjamas for example. I don’t like it. I feel generally overall he doesn’t have a great attitude to women - calls them ‘splitarses’ and this is kind of symptomatic of it. I’ve told him I don’t like it but apparently I’m being uptight?

What exactly attracted you to this charmer?

He sounds awful op, I think you know this as well. Do you want to leave him?

I loathe split arse. Loathe it. It’s mostly said when driving - as in - oh typical, it’s a fucking split arse.

My DH did this once.

Note...once

I'd never heard of the term before. And I'll never hear it from him again. It's disgusting.

Next time he says it, ask him if he knows what happens to rapists in prison

Has he always said this kind of stuff, or is it recent?

Jesus I’ve never heard the phrase “splitarse” - depressing to always be surprised at how disgustingly sexist men can be, specifically husbands and fathers. Good luck OP you’ve got a good one there

I’ve never heard it either. It just be awful to be with someone using such aggressive language.

He uses aggressive language a lot, just in the every day. Everyone is a fucking prick or a cunt. I don’t like it. I’m ten years younger than him and I was only 18 when we met. I think he’s always been like this to a degree.

Me and my OH say some ridiculous and questionable things to each other sometimes but if he ever threatened to give it to me whether I wanted to or not, which let's face it is a threat, I'd probably punch him! Tell him to stop being so good damn disrespectful and ask him if he'd like someone to talk to your children in the same manner!

I'd not put up with that. It's just disrespectful.

I wouldn't accept this. He doesn't respect women at all by the sounds of it!

A joke about raping you. Not funny, not witty, no punchline. I literally don't know anyone that would find this funny

It's contempt, @Seasideshells. One of the relationship "four horsemen of the apocalypse".

It's veiled as a joke; but in fact it is an assault - and he hides sufficiently behind the pretence of 'humour' so that he avoids accountability.

But make no mistake: he is betraying his true feelings for you. Please do act accordingly.

There's nothing remotely funny about having someone threaten to commit a crime against you.

Yuck and very unsexy

I really want you to pack your bags and get as far away as possible from this man. He sounds disgusting. You were really young when you met him - now you are learning just who you're involved with. Are you prepared to act now or do you want to wait until he gets even worse?

What a vile man 🤢

God, he sounds vile. I would not want to be with any man that spoke to me or about women like that, honestly it makes me feel a bit sick in my stomach.

Really revolting, rapey and misogynist.

I have never heard of 'splitarse' to refer to women. I'm really disgusted. He sounds absolutely horrible.

Rapist.

@Bouledeneige I'm glad it's not just me! I'm pretty sweary and grew up
In pubs and consider myself pretty open minded but I have NEVER heard this expression and tbh I never want to hear it again. It's awful and just shows zero respect for women. I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who says this and much less would I want to be raising children (particularly boys) with a man who would say this.

And that's without even taking into consideration the truly dreadful rapey 'jokes'.

What's your relationship like in other ways? I'd be really surprised if he doesn't treat you badly in other ways when he fundamentally disrespects you with his words.

I'd actually find that a bit scary not at all sexy or funny...

He sounds absolutely awful, l would have left after one of those comments...the first one...it says exactly how he sees women.