To be screamed at while asleep...

[abithecroc]

I have a fiancé and a 2 year old. 2 year old still wakes 2-3 times a night. I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Just finished a 12 hour shift and got in bed, a couple of hours later my fiancé screams at me "you are a selfish cunt" then kicks me in my leg before storming off to get our daughter who had woken up. I didn't hear her wake up. Anyway he tries to settle her then I hear him taking her downstairs and switching all the lights on all the while still calling me every name under the sun. I asked what he was doing? She needs to go to bed. He then says she won't go back down she wants her iPad. To this I then take my little girl upstairs and she is screaming kicking and hitting me wanting her dad. I finally settle her only for him to come upstairs again and take her back down. I do not understand what is going on here. He then shouts at me from downstairs " I'm not doing this on my fucking own" to which I ignore. He is now downstairs with her she's watching her iPad, I'm upstairs sobbing. Everyone in my home hates me. It's 3am what on Earth have I done?

Doesn’t matter what you have done, what you need to do is throw that arsehole out. The name calling alone would be enough for me to end it, the kick too though!! Don’t know if he has done it before but guarantee he will do it again and worse.

Good lord, that doesn’t sound good at all. If you can get some sleep and speak to him in the morn but make sure address his behaviour and state you are not willing to put with being spoken to like that, no matter the reason. When my dd was a baby, she’s now 5, my dh used to tell me, half asleep and angry, to make her stop crying!! The first time he did it, she was still breast feeding and I was loopy from lack of sleep. I nearly knifed him then and there. In the morning when I spoke to him about it, he had no memory of it. It’s the only reason I’m still with him, after numerous things like this over the years I ken he’s actually still asleep! Please take care of yourself and speak to him, if it’s only a one off and he’s usually nice / easy going them I’d give him a bollocking for speaking to you like that and move on, if there’s other problems in the relationship I’d think hard about whether you should be staying with him. Hope he calms down and apologises for being a twat! After a 12 hour shift you’re nae needing that at all.

I dont think you have done anything wrong. You calmly need to explain that your daughter needs to go back to bed and ipads etc are a bad idea. Do not apologise. Point out this was unprovoked verbal and physical abuse. Do not wait for this to happen again get away asap.

Please update us the morn.

Call the police, he’s a violent bullying cunt.

I second the police there is no need for this shit

Gosh, a 12 hour shift at 10 weeks pregnant. You must be exhausted and it is not surprising you didn’t hear your dd. Please don’t think she hates you. She doesn’t. It may be part of an age thing, which children often go through. But more worryingly he’s turning her against you with all of this abuse. Your dd has most likely also worked out that she has to appease her daddy and want him, not you to keep herself safe.

His behaviour was not normal at all and I’d be deeply worried for your dd and baby. Imagine if he’d kicked you in the stomach. 😡

DD may well have wanted the promised ipad as opposed to wanting her dad. But all my DC have gone through a daddy phase, doesn't mean they don't love mum. The rest is much more worrying. Completely horrid behaviour by your DF. Do you have somewhere safe you can go with DD? Your DF behaviour is very aggressive and deeply worrying.

He kicked you. You’re 10 weeks pregnant and just finished a 12 hour shift. What’s he been doing all day? His behaviour is disgusting and kicking is violence. That’s not acceptable. What’s next? I’d say to kick him out. If you don’t make a stand now then he’s going to think it’s ok to act like that

Not one thing about his behaviour is ok.

His however ....

Maybe speak to women's aid and have a look at how you'd manage separated.

I'm concerned quite honestly. This looks like deeply abusive behaviour to me and I'm concerned this might escalate. Discuss this with women's aid and see what they think.

You haven't done anything wrong but you are in an abusive relationship. Please call women's aid today and talk it through with them in confidence.

I remember how tired I was at that point in pregnancy. I probably would have slept through as well.
His behaviour is not acceptable.
Even if he had been up to her 3 or more times already!
Also his not wanting to do ‘this alone’.
Does he not look after her alone or does he think one up, allup?
A calm talk needs to occur after everyone has had some sleep.
He needs to be made aware how knackering pregnancy is and that he may have toget upwith toddler on occasion.
Also giving her electronics is not the answer.

Wow! Just wow! You need to seriously reconsider this relationship OP.

He is a total idiot. Apart from his disgusting behaviour, taking a child to watch an iPad in the middle of the night is the most stupid answer to her them not sleeping.

Glad I'm not living with him

This will only get worse. You need to get out of there. Talk to the police.

What a vile man. I too suggest calling the police, I'm sorry but I think you all need to leave him, he will get worse

That's awful. Can you move back to your mums? Please get away from him.

Is your partner pissed off that you are pregnant ?

I'm not sure why more replies aren't calling this what it is: domestic violence. It often starts/ worsens in pregnancy. You need to get out of this relationship OP, it will get worse. Call Women's Aid for help and mention it to your midwife. He is supposed to love you and care for you. Instead he is hurting you, physically and emotionally. So sad.

Sorry, obviously call the police as well!!

@lowandlucky who cares? Is that really the only thing that you can think of to say?

@lowandlucky frankly that is utterly irrelevant.

OP, this is what abuse is. And it’s dangerous for you and your children. He’s not a good man though undoubtedly has days where he seems perfectly normal, lovely even. But he’s abusive and your little girl has seen and heard him now too. You need to get out when you can.

I agree with women’s aid, he sounds really abusive. Imagine how he will be with 2 children!

Another vote for the police. You aren't safe and it will get worse.