To be screamed at while asleep...

[abithecroc]

I have a fiancé and a 2 year old. 2 year old still wakes 2-3 times a night. I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Just finished a 12 hour shift and got in bed, a couple of hours later my fiancé screams at me "you are a selfish cunt" then kicks me in my leg before storming off to get our daughter who had woken up. I didn't hear her wake up. Anyway he tries to settle her then I hear him taking her downstairs and switching all the lights on all the while still calling me every name under the sun. I asked what he was doing? She needs to go to bed. He then says she won't go back down she wants her iPad. To this I then take my little girl upstairs and she is screaming kicking and hitting me wanting her dad. I finally settle her only for him to come upstairs again and take her back down. I do not understand what is going on here. He then shouts at me from downstairs " I'm not doing this on my fucking own" to which I ignore. He is now downstairs with her she's watching her iPad, I'm upstairs sobbing. Everyone in my home hates me. It's 3am what on Earth have I done?

Sounds like he cba with your DD, has no intentions of getting up at night for her.

As for the behaviour I'd leave him no looking back

How awful. Please don't ignore this, op.

I agree, it’s domestic violence. If he’ll kick you now and scream at you when you’re pregnant and asleep, in a year or so it’ll be your norm to be punched in the face so hard you fall over. And after your baby is born, if he manages NOT to snap and shake it out of frustration when the baby is crying it will be nothing short of a miracle.

He’s dangerous OP, and you need to get out of there before it gets worse which it will. Seek professional help now to leave.

Hi op. I'm so sorry this has happened.

Your dd still loves you. She just wanted her iPad so was struggling to get you to put her down so she could get to it.

What your partner did was seriously wrong. You need to tell him that it was absolutely out of order. Personally I would involve the police so he can see how serious this was.

Don't give him the chance to treat you badly again. If this has happened before I would leave as it will happen again.

Life with 2 dc is a lot more stressful and you need his full support. If he can't give you that, your better off without him.

Why are people focussing on the dd? This is pretty normal stuff with toddlers but other men don't hit and abuse their partners because of it.
Op you need to get out of this situation. No woman should be treated this that. It's abuse.

Op. alot of abuse starts during pregnancy. Hope you had some sleep. This needs reporting op next time you might not be as lucky. There will be a next time as his show you the kind of men he is. Be strong op for your dd the baby and yourself xxx

MissEliza
People aren’t focusing on ops daughter. I see posts as reassuring op that her dd still loves her and to avoid the thought process that if she splits from this aggressive man, her dd will abandon all love for her. It’s a way of encouraging her that she does have options and can stay safe. It’s a way of telling her she needs to put her kids first.

A 2 year old who wakes in the night is not a wild child don’t be so ridiculous.

OP the problem is him. Get him out. Use the police if necessary.

@Hatherden123 Are you for real? Child abuse because your two year old doesn’t sleep through? Many people (myself included) would argue that it’s actually sleep training your child that constitutes child abuse!

Whilst I agree on principle with the electronics (a 2 year old should not have their own iPad) Your post is mostly spectacularly unhelpful. There’s zero excuse for kicking your pregnant partner and calling her a cunt. I don’t care how sleep deprived you are.

Hatherden.... Did you just read the first part about the wee one waking 2 to 3 times a night at age 2 and completely fucking ignore that he woke his pregnant wife up by screaming at her in a fucking rage and kicked her.... Kicked her....

There are lots of people who are woken up by children through the night. Who manage quite successfully to lull them back to sleep and not physically and emotionally assault their partner.

This is domestic violence and that's what you should be focusing on

Like @readysteadylook, I am so sorry this has happened. None of it is your fault. Try and dig deep, and get you and your dd out of there. Have you got any real life support?

You need to leave OP. He's only going to get worse

You poor thing- you must be totally shattered. Are you able to take your dd and spend a few days with a loving friend or family member to regroup and make a decision about what to do next? You know he is being really abusive here. Neither you nor your little girl deserve to be around that.

OP you are a victim of domestic violence. You need to take yourself and your daughter away from this man. If he won’t leave do you have family you can stay with?

Is having another baby with this man a good idea? He sounds like an incompetent parents (who out an iPad on for a 2 year old at 3am?!) as well as a physically and verbally abusive arsehole.

If my daughter (2 year's old) heard and saw this she would copy all of it - language and kicking and soon suss out that if she cries at night she'd get to use the iPad. You need to think about how this is affecting her- she will grow up to think this behaviour is acceptable and normal which it definitely isn't!

Oh dear, you poor thing. I would like to reiterate the post above, that none of this is your fault. He is the robe who is in the wrong. He’s abusive. Please don’t marry him 💐

If my partner woke me up when I was pregnant and had worked 12 hours by kicking me and calling me a cunt i would probably be getting arrested for murder. I would, at the very least, be separating and asking him to move out for a while.

Op nobody deserves to be treated how you were treated overnight.
He is showing you who he is now.
Please contact women’s aid and have a chat.

Op he is abusive and you need to get advice from womans Aid...you are not safe.

Why the hell are you with someone like that? I despair.

Quite honestly in your shoes I'd terminate and be off. He is selfish and no support to you and it sounds like doesn't really love you. If he did he'd want to look after and cherish you. Instead he's only thinking about himself and punishing you. Not on at all.

In the same situation my DH took responsibility to settle DS so that I could sleep.

Unfortunately it sounds like the 2 year old is his so you're stuck with being in contact with him now.

I’m really sorry he’s treating you like this. I hope you’re ok this morning and feel able to get some help.

Very abusive asshole. Why can’t he just settle his his own child without waking you? ..... and KICKING you? Your child doesn’t hate you. But this asshole will make her turn against you overtime, as kids just learn from adult’s behaviour. You’re expecting his 2nd child and he’s treating you like this. There’s no love at all it will only get worse. He’s nothing but a Cruel and an abusive twat

Me and DD are awake and downstairs cuddling up she's all kisses and hugs this morn. I hate her having her iPad any time of day really but as a rule it never goes upstairs and it's put out of the way from 6pm-8am. I have spent hours just trying to process what on Earth went on last night. My only option is my DD is at grandmas for abit today so once she's there I will go have a chat with him and from that I will know if I am following DD to grandmas. We can both stay there for as long as we want or need. I'm just beside myself, my eyes are burning my body is aching and I feel so small

He has assaulted you when pregnant, that is a big red flag for serious violence down the track. I think you know what you need to do here, if you don’t act then it sends the message that he can do it again. And the next time will be worse. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but you need to protect yourself, your child and your unborn baby from this violent man.