To be screamed at while asleep...

[abithecroc]

I have a fiancé and a 2 year old. 2 year old still wakes 2-3 times a night. I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Just finished a 12 hour shift and got in bed, a couple of hours later my fiancé screams at me "you are a selfish cunt" then kicks me in my leg before storming off to get our daughter who had woken up. I didn't hear her wake up. Anyway he tries to settle her then I hear him taking her downstairs and switching all the lights on all the while still calling me every name under the sun. I asked what he was doing? She needs to go to bed. He then says she won't go back down she wants her iPad. To this I then take my little girl upstairs and she is screaming kicking and hitting me wanting her dad. I finally settle her only for him to come upstairs again and take her back down. I do not understand what is going on here. He then shouts at me from downstairs " I'm not doing this on my fucking own" to which I ignore. He is now downstairs with her she's watching her iPad, I'm upstairs sobbing. Everyone in my home hates me. It's 3am what on Earth have I done?

Doesn’t matter what you have done, what you need to do is throw that arsehole out.

Beldon is right!

First comment on the thread and it says everything you need to do.

Listen to this advice - things will get worse and not better if you stay. You aren't married to this twat so cut your losses now and get out/ get him out - whatever your solicitor (you are going to get a solicitor, aren't you) advises.

This is not acceptable behaviour towards ANYONE, let alone an exhausted pregnant woman and the mother of your children - he is a wanker of the first water.

Don't give him chance to minimise what he did. You aren't safe. You will never be safe. Leave him.

Start packing. For both of you. If this is how he behaves with a 2 year old waking up, imagine how bad it will be with a newborn.

This is absolutely horrendous OP. Imagine the kind of person who would kick and swear at a sleeping pregnant woman

Don't forget that abusers often show remorse and apologise but that doesn't stop them doing it again. Even if he is apologetic, you may still have to go.

You deserve so much better than this op.

I hope you find the strength to either leave or kick him out.

Your little girl might not remember this if you split up now. Raising a child to hear a man call his partner such vile names will teach them to think it’s normal. The best thing you can do for your children is to be single.

Raise them in an environment where they feel safe and there is peace and love not anger and violence.

Hope you’re ok today and that you managed some sleep.

Also I would call the police and report him. I hope they arrest him. You need this on record.

I think they will arrest him for this and when he is gone you can change the locks.

Stay safe.

Bloody hell that's shocking. There's nothing in the world he can say to you today that should change your mind about leaving. Permanently.
He's a disgusting, abusive pig of a man. Your poor daughter must have been terrified

Don't have that chat with him.

Nothing will be resolved by talking.

All you will get is accusations and rage, explanations that involve nothing but 'Me Me Me', or anger along the lines of 'I'm so kicked around that I have to get up for a fucking child in the night while my lazy arse wife snores away and never even hears her/ I get no respect' . Or false promises, flowers, and 'I'm going through a very rough patch, sniff, sniff, poor me'.

Move to your relative's house.
Call Women's Aid.
0808 2000 247.
Ask for their help getting out and staying out.

This is not going to get better. You will experience more of this, and worse.

Your toddler will be traumatised. Small children pick up on rage like your DP's last might. They are bewildered and terrified of it.

Your chat needs to be is he going this morning or this afternoon? Violence and language like that! No way would I tolerate that especially when pregnant and around kids. I would have called the Police from my mobile there and then.
He is training your DD to be an asshole like he is.

He is an asshole, he will always be an asshole.

He assaulted you!

Hatherden you‘re a minimising idiot.

OP, so glad you have somewhere to go if need be. This man is abusive and your DD will pick up on his behaviour. You would be well rid of a man who behaves like that, who is violent to you and uses vile language to you, deprived you of sleep and is a poor parent to your DD. Hope you will be well. Do you think you will be safe to talk to him alone? Might be an idea to have a trusted friend in the house, they can sit in another room but it’s backup and a witness in case he kicks off. I‘d also pack a bag in advance so you can be out of that door in a flash.

Whose name is on the house? What he did is domestic violence and assault, youd he well within your rights to call the police and have him removed. Has he been like this before?

My partner is always a bit grumpy if he has to deal with the kids through the night but he always apologises afterwards for being an asshole! BUT if he ever screamed at me or kicked me for any reason then that would be it and he'd be out the door!
Your husband has shown his true colours OP and I don't see how he can redeem himself!

Absolutely vile behaviour and not normal. Is this out of character for him or a trait you see often and in other ways?

Totally agree with others that I would be asking him to leave-swearing in your face and violence are completely over the line any time and regardless of circumstance!

I've reported the moronic post from @Hatherden123

also please disregard everything @Hatherden123 said! What absolute drivel!

Does he have form for this OP, he’s just broken the first rule of parenting repeatedly before we even start on thinking about the way he spoke to you. I would spend time at grandmas to get your head round what’s happened.

you say he's your fiance. I hope you abandon plans to marry him. whose house is it. can you easily move out.

Hatherden123 what the actual hell are you talking about,what a load of shit.

OP you've had some good advice on here,I'd be packing my bags and taking my DD to grandmas now. You need some time and space in a safe place.

You poor thing

Please go to your Mum’s for a bit.
He needs to know he’s crossed the line and you need to be safe and looked after

Is he going out today?

Who owns/has the lease on your home?

Don’t bother talking to him, he’s an abusive wanker - that’s not going to change - you need to get out

Yes you might love him - he doesn’t love you.

Yes he might have been different before - it’s common for abusers to ‘hold it all together’ until they can’t anymore THIS is who he is.

Yes, DD might be upset, doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do & she will get over it and now is a good time because she’ll soon forget.

It’s definiteky him, not you and he will get worse, not better...no matter what shite he comes out with, if he even bothers.

Take care today.

💐💐💐

@Hatherden123 needs to go to anger management classes as well.

...and comprehension lessons too!

Just ignore the whole lot, except I agree that you need to work on getting your 2 year old sleeping through. I’d be demented if a 2 yo was still waking up that much and that’s without adding in a newborn.

But that’s no excuse for your DP’s behaviour.

Op, I strongly advise against talking to him. You don't need extra lies, guilt trips about children, accusations against your 'behaviour' etc. You need distance, and time to make a life separate from him.

He is abusive and it’s not your fault. You need to leave him - he will not get better. Is this the way he normally treats you. Poor him having to get up with his daughter. This is not the actions of a loving parent or partner.
Lots of us have been there and I eventually reported him to the police.
He will be sorry, sorry and sorry again, he may cry, he may get angry.
He will do it again.
I hope you have real life support. Do not keep it a secret.
Good luck.