@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I get what you are trying to say ie offer the other side - that it’s not a bed of roses. But I live both sides. Categorically being away and focussing on one thing ie work. Is so much easier than running a home and children single handedly. I do both, I do both frequently.
When I’ve been away for a week with work, I’ve worked hard, day and night, have jet lag usually, but I still come back way more vibrant and up for sex than I do having been at home all week (working, kids, school runs, homework, bags, plays, ironing, housework, shopping, cooking etc)
Family chores wear you down. Kids are exhausting as you repeat yourself 3... to maybe 10 times for every request (clean your teeth, put your shoes on, put your coat on etc). It’s not the same as working in my experience. Work is categorically seen as a break vs kids between me and my peers.
@ANormalHusband id suggest removing all pressure, requests, moodiness etc. Focussing on how you can both have a break to relax regularly. I know if I go out for a couple of hours for drinks with friends, I come back buzzing and full of life. If your wife is not getting her own pleasure/break/escapism and waiting for you to hint, pressure on sex, she won’t want to. Further she’s probably so used to being a part time single parent you may upset the balance when you are home. That’s a tough one, so I think you have to prove you being home is positive not negative.
You sound like you are listening, so apologies for my earlier rude post. But you have to remove all expectations, pressure, moodiness and in my view ensure she’s getting some rest bite. If you have a connection and you love each other the rest should then fall into place and you’ll be getting what you’re after too! That’s my experience anyhow!
At the same time I get you are away proving and want yo rebond when you get home. It’s tough hey, but you made a family and with that comes exhaustion through responsibility. Be kind where you can and hopefully you’ll see the same in return. Good luck.