I think my partner has joined a gay man's pick up site

[CatsnRabbits]

Just that really - I feel sick... I've just gone on the computer and his email was open, he has received a message from a site called fabguys. I'm at home today and picking our daughter up soon, he will be home at 5.30. I don't know what to do.

Another post and run...

Bit harsh @Sarahlou63 - the OP is obviously going through a horrendous ordeal and doesn't owe you or any of us an update.

I just hope op is ok - I cannot fathom what’s she’s going through

She’s probably absolutely devastated and reporting back to mumsnet isn’t top of her list sarahlou63

Newnameforthis111 I'd confront him with what you've got. Saw your other thread, you have enough to gain a confession from him. Screenshot his profile on FGs and your other evidence and watch his gave drop. You have all the proud you need then.

Jesus Christ @Sarahlou63 do you really think this ladies top priority is giving you an update of her life right now?

thinking of you OP, hope you're doing ok x

You poor thing-hope you’re ok. What have you decided to do?

Hi OP how are things with you?

Following hope u ok

This is the start of your new life, Thankfully you've found out now. You have plenty of time left to restart. All the best

hope your ok op. The site is over run with married men. Set up a profile and catch him out.

I know this is an old thread and I hope the original owner of the post is OK. All I can say, is please don't hack into people's accounts, even if you think / suspect that they are cheating and here is why. It's ilegal to hack and whether you are proved right or not, you have broken the law. Hacking comes with quite a setance, unless you are hired as a white hat hacker for a business, testing security systems. If you take details from a site and a person can prove someone other than them has logged in and prove it, you can get 5 years in the UK as a minimum sentence, as you've breached so many laws. Cyber crime over the last 3 years since this thread has become big business for the Police. Whether you take anything or not from hacking, even resetting someone elses password for a site to gain access, you are actually breaking the law. If anyone else finds themselves in this situation, it would be better just to say, "Look, somethings been brought to my attention" and go from there. If you Partner is Bi or Gay and they've kept it a secret, it could be for any number of reasons. They may feel it's something that no one would ever understand? If the Daughter in this case is slightly older, the guy may have felt that his daughter may have been affected, so tried to keep it quiet. Either way, a discussion between the adults would be better and not to go down the underhanded route, even if he is "Guilty" of being underhanded on a gay dating site. The straight version of that website is pretty huge in the area I live in and some people talk in our pubs, "Oh I've seen that tattoo on fabswingers" and in public, it causes quite a storm in a teacup. It's violating the privacy of people's lives.

i totally understand that the original poster of this post would have been traumatised as it would shock someone, i Get it. BUT, there are better ways to talk about this with someone and see what's really happened. I hope things were sorted out.

Bullshit @Openmindedhuman no husband is going to sue you for hacking their gay dating website details to find out if they're cheating on you. Not going to happen. That is not the sort of 'cyber crime' that is 'big business' for the police when there are people defrauding large amounts of money, others abusing children and creating child porn and others trying to disrupt things such as the NHS and banks.

Feeling that no one would understand that you're gay or bi is fine - but don't fucking marry someone and have a child with them if you're not prepared to be honest with them. Funny that he's happy to put it all over gay dating websites though - not so shy there. No problem cheating on his wife and potentially putting her at risk of all sorts. And as for suggesting he didn't want it to affect his daughter are you taking the piss?? There's only one person this bloke is thinking about and that's himself. Himself and his cock. He's risking everyone and everything to get his kicks. It's perfectly possible to be bi and be monogamous, and if he's gay then he should not be married to a woman. Whatever the case he shouldn't be on dating sites of any sort. Grim.

When you plaster stuff all over public websites it's not private any more. If you don't want people talking about it don't put it out there. You're so naive it's ridiculous.