drunken bed wetting

[lesleyw1953]

I think I may have led a sheltered existence because I'm amazed and horrified my dd has a partner who regularly (but not that frequently, maybe once every fortnight) goes out with his mates, gets blind drunk, gets home and pees either himself or the bed. He's also pretty obnoxious ( but not violent) when plastered but she is not usually with him at these times so just has to deal with it when he rolls home. He has told her this is not a big deal - all his mates do this and their GFs just put plastic sheets on the beds. Apart from this - and one very embarrassing incident at her friend's wedding - he is fine. Funny , thoughtful, clever, generous. His mother thinks my DD is overreacting by being angry with him and actually went as far as to ask her what her part in this was. But from what I know he has always drank heavily since his teens so it is not something that has arisen because of his relationship with DD. I can't really ask anyone in real life without making my DD uncomfortable - but surely this is not acceptable behaviour? I know it's not the sort of thing people would be open about but still I cannot believe it's common practice as he claims. AIBU?

I should add, I’m nit even anti drink or drugs! But crumbs, if you’re going to date an alcoholic, make sure it’s not that kind!!

Plastic sheets. Meh.

No.

She's 30 and he says he'll stop in 2 years?! Never mind piss, I smell bullshit.

She needs to get out. He can deal with the other 6 months on the lease.

I remember feeling really disappointed when my ex was delivered back home after his stag do. I knew there’d be a mess to clean up. That night he managed to shit, piss and vomit on his pillow. It’s soul destroying to love someone who binge drinks to the extent they lose control of their bodily functions.

Another ex pissed my bed the first night we spent together. Despite having a long history of bed wetting he asked me if I’d wet the bed knowing it was him. I wish I’d spotted the gaslighting right then and would have saved me years of heartache.

Sadly, drunken bed wetting is more common than most people would think. It’d Be a dealbreaker for me now, because I know the misery that follows.

Well he keeps doing it because she keeps cleaning up after him.
WTF does she do that?
She needs to go out and let him get on with it.
Once he has to clean up his own piss he might rethink things.
I doubt it, but she is basically enabling this behaviour.
He's an alcoholic.
He will not change in 2 years.
She needs to run - far and fast.
It never ceases to amaze me what women put up with just to hang on to a 'man'.
He's a fuckwit.
She needs to move on from him.
She needs to get out there and enjoy her life.
If she stays with him, this will be her life forever more!
I wanna shake her for you OP.
It must be very frustrating for you to watch her go through this.
BUT, she has to save herself. You cannot save her from this. She has to come to the realisation that this horrible man has no respect for her at all.
To allow someone to clean up after you as an adult is fucking outrageous.
He's basically a fucking scumbag OP.
The sooner she can get to grips with that, the better!
But I fear you have a long wait ahead of you!
All you can do is be there for her.