drunken bed wetting

[lesleyw1953]

I think I may have led a sheltered existence because I'm amazed and horrified my dd has a partner who regularly (but not that frequently, maybe once every fortnight) goes out with his mates, gets blind drunk, gets home and pees either himself or the bed. He's also pretty obnoxious ( but not violent) when plastered but she is not usually with him at these times so just has to deal with it when he rolls home. He has told her this is not a big deal - all his mates do this and their GFs just put plastic sheets on the beds. Apart from this - and one very embarrassing incident at her friend's wedding - he is fine. Funny , thoughtful, clever, generous. His mother thinks my DD is overreacting by being angry with him and actually went as far as to ask her what her part in this was. But from what I know he has always drank heavily since his teens so it is not something that has arisen because of his relationship with DD. I can't really ask anyone in real life without making my DD uncomfortable - but surely this is not acceptable behaviour? I know it's not the sort of thing people would be open about but still I cannot believe it's common practice as he claims. AIBU?

No it’s not normal.

If it happened once after a massive drinking session fair enough but the fact it’s a regular thing and he normalises it is a problem.

I feel sorry for your dd.

No not all men do this and if they did it once then they would curb their drinking so it didn't happen again.

I have been known to drink to excess in my time and have never pissed the bed. This guy should have his own piddle room to sleep in and clean up after himself - dirty dog - let him put his own fucking plastic sheet on the bed so he can piss on it. Poor young woman having to put up with this filthy nonsense.

My ex husband urinated in the wardrobe in the middle of the night when he was drunk. He didn't remember a thing in the morning. Some of his friends did similar on a couple of occasions. They are all heavy drinkers (read alcoholics).

Why does she live with him, she could live alone and date him (if she wants to) then he can clean up his own wet bed. And how much money is he wasting on alcohol per month.

🤮 Your poor dd. Does she wake up in his disgusting piss?

Why on earth is she with this foul man?

Once a fortnight is both regular and very very frequent. Once in a lifetime is only just acceptable.
Is he part of some hard drinking culture like a rugby club? Any which way, not ok and far from normal.

My XH did it just the once, when he was 23. Never again to my knowledge -he’s now 58. Scared himself. No way either of us thought it was remotely acceptable. Your DD is right to be horrified.

I did this a few times in my early 20's when still living a studenty lifestyle and occasional binge drinking . I think it was because I drank pints and I'm a smallish woman. It was mortifying, I did it in a boyfriends bed once at his mums house - he took the blame and his mum said he didn't deserve me . I used to lose memory too. I rarely drink now.

My late H did this - he was an alcoholic but in his case he also had a kidney stone the size of Manchester. It was absolutely disgusting.

It did stop when he had the kidney stone sorted, but the alcohol issue destroyed us.

Haven't RTFT, but only time I've heard of anyone wetting the bed after drinking is when they are active alcoholics. I'm in recovery & this is a common them in many alcoholics' stories.

Horrible behaviour. She should ditch him. His mother has said its OK because she doesn't want him coming back home.

God, no.
His mother is covering for him because she knows he does not deserve your DD.

Not normal. Only known in adult that's very deep sleep as incredibly tired, sick or very very drunk.

YANBU.

Do they have any children?

This is gross. There was a poster on here whose partner was like this, along with stinking of booze and other crapness- everyone agreed it was disgusting. His mum sounds a bit vindictive, too.

It’s not normal - neither is his mother’s reaction !
My stepson did this one night - and also puked in a shoe box ( containing my shoes)
Wouldn’t apologize or cleanup - his Dad insisted boys will be boys . So I threw them both out to stay in a hotel for the night .
Previous husband use to arrive home drunk - open the wardrobe door and pee into it . He was banished permanently .

I wet the bed once. I was in hospital, came round from anaesthetic and they gave me morphine. I was out of it and mortified when I realised what I’d done.

I’ve never done it after a couple of drinks though. I had to be seriously drugged up.

My point is, he’s got a problem if he gets that out of it he wets the bed.

I'd dump him. You wouldn't catch me living with a drunk who pisses the bed. Does she not think she deserves better than this?

It's definitely gross but my dh has a few male friends who do this when they get really plastered. None of them are alcoholics. They are all happily married too!

Agree with previous posters - my ex did this and he was dead from alcohol before the age of 50.

QuiteGood That’s absolutely horrendous. How old are the kids? Are SS involved?

all his mates do this and their GFs just put plastic sheets on the beds.

Ugh! The fact that he pisses the bed is bad enough but the comment above? Expecting your DD to be a perfect little 1950s girlfriend by putting a plastic sheet on the bed?

She needs to LTB.

How old are they?

Agree wholeheartedly with PPs, he clearly has an alcohol problem. I was with someone who did this a few times. We were in our early 20s and he had a horrendous alcohol dependency. So did I, largely because of him, and I made some terrible choices that have affected the rest of my life.

You daughter needs to GTF out. Now.

Addicts normalise their behaviour. It's part of downplaying how problematic it is.