drunken bed wetting

[lesleyw1953]

I think I may have led a sheltered existence because I'm amazed and horrified my dd has a partner who regularly (but not that frequently, maybe once every fortnight) goes out with his mates, gets blind drunk, gets home and pees either himself or the bed. He's also pretty obnoxious ( but not violent) when plastered but she is not usually with him at these times so just has to deal with it when he rolls home. He has told her this is not a big deal - all his mates do this and their GFs just put plastic sheets on the beds. Apart from this - and one very embarrassing incident at her friend's wedding - he is fine. Funny , thoughtful, clever, generous. His mother thinks my DD is overreacting by being angry with him and actually went as far as to ask her what her part in this was. But from what I know he has always drank heavily since his teens so it is not something that has arisen because of his relationship with DD. I can't really ask anyone in real life without making my DD uncomfortable - but surely this is not acceptable behaviour? I know it's not the sort of thing people would be open about but still I cannot believe it's common practice as he claims. AIBU?

That sounds grim. I've heard it happen to a few people as a one off over the years, but not a regular occurrence, and I'm in my 50s.

I knew one woman years ago who would pee the bed regularly if she drank alcohol. But because she was a normal person, she realised she couldn't drink or this would happen. So she stopped drinking alcohol completely.

Putting on a plastic sheet isn't the answer, him cutting back or stopping his drinking is.

I can't believe his mums reaction. I'll bet she wouldn't be quite so blase if it were her possibly waking up in a pool of her partner's piss one a fortnight.

They wont be able to go anywhere. Off on holidays, and he will pee the bed. Staying af a hotel for a friends wedding, same scenario, with no spare room to chuck him into.

What a passion killer. Does he wash the prissy bed linen and any clothes that are collateral damage? I'm guessing not.

My XH didn’t piss the bed, he’d puke when he was passed out instead. He did it quite often, and I’d struggle to wake him. It was disgusting, and I’d be worried sick that he’d choke on it. He too didn’t think it was a problem.

He is an alcoholic. He was just about functioning back then, although had he had a different job or a different boss he would’ve been out on his ear. The alcoholism only got worse. He finally lost his job, destroyed his life and his health, to the point that he can’t feel his feet and needs a walker to get around.

That is one of the many reasons he is an ex.

Please encourage your DD to leave this man. She’ll have a fucking awful life if she stays with him.

This is insane....what did I just read???

And the future mil- what a little treat she sounds

I can confirm in 20 years of dating NO boyfriend has done this to me. Ever.

Hell No!! How dare his mum try and justify this behaviour to you as well 🤮

WTAF?? No this is in no way normal. He's a raging alcoholic.
I used to work in a large pub/hotel. It was a bit of a dive and mainly let out to contractors in the area. They'd work all night, roll in at 6am, order mixed grills and drink themselves into a deep sleep. They routinely wet the bed.

As did our alcoholic chef who was regularly put up in a room when he passed out after each shift.

Your DD needs to get out!

Whatisthisfuckery, I can imagine how worrying it must be for a heavily asleep drunken person to vomit. For most of us, if we were asleep and wanting to vomit, we'd wake up. Unfortunately a drunken sleep is deeper and the gag reflex doesn't work which is why we hear of people choking - they are not all alcoholics either, sometimes young people who've just had too much. A&E departments are often dealing with that - particularly in university towns.

Always best to put a drunken person in the recovery position. It's scary!

A friend and an ex partner did this. Both had alcohol dependency

No. Just no. Not normal. She needs to run for the hills.

Your daughter is dating an alcoholic.

An alcoholic whose mother blames her for getting getting (justifiably) angry with him.

Your daughter should be very careful.

OMFG 🤮🤮🤮
that is utterly disgusting - why do people have such low standards for themselves - I cannot believe this happens - what would make them react -perhaps if they shit themselves after a cocktail of cheap lager, vodka and a kebab? Would probably just buy them nappies and make another excuse for such vile behaviour 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Yuck...

If it was a medical problem I would obviously make allowances, but to enable someone to get blind drunk no fucking chance.

She should tell him if he wants to sleep in a puddle of piss he should find a public urinal to spend the night in.

It's pretty normal for AA members, sharing their drunkalogues in meetings, about how sad, dark and desperate their drinking days were. One of the many great reminders never to pick up a drink.

Among normal drinkers, not in the slightest bit common.

It’s disgusting and the mother plainly has her own issues.

Help your daughter out of this horror. Her life will only get worse if it carries on with everyone saying it’s a practical matter of rubber sheets. It absolutely isn’t.

I was in your daughter's shoes once, he was an obnoxious drunk. He had a problem with drink...and porn...and coke. Couldn't put a foot wrong in his mam's eyes, she gave me a lecture for not having his tea on the table once... I'd lost count of the number of teas I'd binned due to him not coming home from work.

Look hes got a problem with alcohol and your poor dd needs to get rid.

horrible. no i do not think this is normal. where has she learnt to accept such awful behaviour (the drinking etc, obviously the bed wetting whilst vile is a symptom
of a much more insidious problem)

I have a friend who was married to someone who did this, very frequently. At home, in hotels etc. He was an alcoholic.

My DP sometimes (rarely) goes out and gets incredibly drunk and I can confirm he's never wet the bed...

I also once had an ex that did something similar (would pee in corner of the room when drunk).

He also had a massive problem with drinking.

I'm a 45-year old man. I've not wet the bed since I was a small child. Mind you, I've also never been drunk!

I fucking hope on hope that my dds want more for themselves relationship wise than this.

I wouldn't give a shit about him or his parents, can't change them.

I'd feel utterly shit that I'd raised a grown woman who would put up with this.

Absolutely grim and I'm agog at the solution being a plastic sheet rather than looking at your excessive drinking.

Your poor DD - I hope she sees the light, pronto.

"I'd feel utterly shit that I'd raised a grown woman who would put up with this."

Oh come on, let's not blame the OP.

I am not blaming the OP.

I am a bit st the fact she needed to ask if this was normal though.

Of course its not normal and you should encourage your dd to leave him.

Definitely not normal or acceptable.
If it was a one off then forgive and forget , if it's a regular occurrence then absolutely no way should your DD be putting up with this.
BF has a problem with alcohol that will only lead to heartbreak for your DD, his other qualities do not make up for this.
He needs to stop doing it and get help if necessary or she needs to get rid. His mums attitude is telling.