PC - they may be just trying to call your bluff, thinking that you are deliberately stalling. Best to have a word with your solicitor and stress that you are serious, but have tenants to consider, & hope for the best. House buying/selling is SUCH a nightmare. DP and I really went through it for about 18 months and three different houses - complicated as we each had a flat to sell and his buyers were EVIL. We both gained a lot of grey hairs & I've finally started dying (my hair, that is ). But we've been in our lovely little Victorian house for a year now and very happy (though very poor). Out of the three houses we tried to buy, this is the nicest, so it all worked out for the best.
OSJ, really sorry about your nan. I don't know your story, so don't know about your father - but whatever, it will be difficult after so many years. Hope it goes well tomorrow.
TFM, LOL, you remembered my compost bin ! It's going well - something must be happening as I keep putting stuff in but the level remains the same, so it must be rotting down. I really should give it a stir to see what's going on underneath, but don't want to upset the happy fruitflies. Maybe lots of lovely mulch for the spring, who knows? and the rest of the garden is looking very lush after this wet summer. The cats love it.
Everyone - the question of whether you take back an erring partner is, as everyone here has said, one only you can decide, no matter what your family and friends think. Family will obviously not want you hurt again - and you will certainly make your Hs work bloody hard to prove they mean their fine words. (love the bikini story!)
I come at this from a different angle from the rest of you - as I'm an erring wife who erred with an old boyfriend (who originally dropped me when we were both free and single 19 years ago, when he was erring himself, with an old girlfriend, do I see a pattern here ?) Anyway, he and I split up but remained in contact, though he went on to several relationships whilst I married (on the rebound) and had lovely dd. Marriage lasted 12 years, 10 of them as friends - my ex was a good man, but there was no sex after dd was born - after a few years of this and no move from exh to examine the problem (I attempted once or twice and got nowhere) I drifted into an affair with dp, never expecting it to go anywhere but I needed the occasional sex and tried to suppress the fact that I knew I was still in love with exboyfriend. H eventually confronted me, moved out, and dp and I decided we wanted to be together, 13 years after we'd first dated. Not the ideal way to end a marriage or start a new relationship, and I would never recommend an affair, but there, I did it.
Anyway, my family were absolutely dead against dp initially, for perfectly good reasons, ie they'd liked my exh, were concerned for dd (who was distraught at the time but has come to terms over the last 5 years, or we would never have moved in together). They were also worried that dp would let me down again, as he had before. My father called him a 'playboy' - which was quite amusing as he's nothing like, though he does clean up well! However, we're both 19 years older, and he says he really loves me and doesn't want to ever be with anyone else - which has been as much a surprise to him as to everyone else . And I can tell the difference from those days - and I can feel he means it. We have our problems adjusting to being a couple, particularly hard for him as he's never really lived with any of his previous girlfriends before, but we're surviving the odd disagreement (with the support of you lovely MNs when I need to moan ) and we keep assuring each other, even when we do fall out, that we love each other.
Sorry - long post - what am I trying to say? I think, that people CAN change (dp never thought he'd love someone enough to live with them, and regrets so much how he hurt me when we were younger, and how that led to us both eventually hurting my exh and dd). And that if you do take back a partner, your family will need time to adjust - in general, they will probably come round when they see that your partners really ARE making you happy and not repeating their mistakes.
Oh, and if you meet new partners, that too can work - I hope. I know we all worry about step parents - will they love our children enough, will our children be happy with them. Again, lots of patience, love and understanding on both sides, and be prepared to be pig in the middle. It was REALLY hard for dd in the early days, she was so upset and angry, but we got through and she's a lovely teenager now and says she actually quite likes dp and wouldn't want me and exh to get together again, as she sees how much happier I am now. Actually, I think she really prefers us being women alone, as dp's often away with work for several weeks on end, but that's a different story .
Whew, finished!