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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband sending lots of messages to someone.

127 replies

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:21

Decided to check on DH's Web activity as spider senses tingling. His phone is linked to his ipad via Google Play which I'm sure he is not aware of.

I have seen lots of messages have been sent via Samsung Android Messaging. Lots late at night but also during the day when he's at work. Some even minutes after he's left the house. I was not aware he uses this App.

We use normal text messages to communicate. He also uses a few other apps to communicate with family and friends but they show up separately on his activity log.

He started wearing his wedding ring a few months ago which surprised me as for over 20 years he said he couldn't as it annoyed himHmm. He also has increased his gym sessions (he is going as I can see his location), general grooming, even putting moisturiser on his legs after his shower in the morning on a work day.

He is very interested in sex recently as well.
If he is fucking around with someone else it has to be at work in a cupboard somewhere Grin. He works on a massive distribution site keeping irregular hours due to the nature of the job.

The messages go back as far as July so far but probably further as haven't got that far yet. Even while we were on holiday.

I can't find an answer online as to whether Samsung messaging shows on the activity log if you send a normal text? He allows me to use his phone and is not secretive but I am wondering if he's hidden the App?

Any ideas?

OP posts:
gwackywacky · 13/10/2019 17:25

Have you had a rough time of it lately? Just wondering if it could be some kind of text based therapy and hes embarking on a "making more of an effort" thing for you and your relationships sake.

If it was someone else I dont see why hed be putting on his ring?

Impressed that hes moisturising his legs though. Grin

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:30

Nope and he's certainly not the type to have therapy!

Just wondering if anyone knows anything about this Samsung app.

The wedding ring thing may be guilt?

He has been more attentive recently.

OP posts:
Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:32

He's taking lots of photos of muscle poses when working out too but not showing them to me Hmm.

OP posts:
MarianaMoatedGrange · 13/10/2019 17:35

I may be generalising about the muscle thing but could he be gay/Bi?

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:41

Doubtful. No signs. I caught him looking up porn at the beginning of the year and it was hetero stuff.

OP posts:
Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:44

Anyone know if this Samsung messaging would show up on the activity log if it was adverts or spam crap being sent TO it? It says Used on the log.

I'm going insane and he won't be home for a few hours.

OP posts:
gwackywacky · 13/10/2019 17:46

I have a Samsung never even heard of this system. Not sure why youd bother using some obscure app when theres normal texting, WhatsApp, messenger etc

Lovemusic33 · 13/10/2019 17:50

Sounds like he’s just taking a interest in the gym and looking good, maybe a mid life crisis? He’s sending you photos as he wants you to tell him how good he looks?

0lga · 13/10/2019 17:50

He doesn’t need to use a cupboard at work. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Sorry, but don’t fool yourself that he doesn’t have the opportunity.

And very few men are interested in exchanging hundreds of daily messages with someone who is just a friend. They are not used to doing all that Emotional labour without a payoff.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 13/10/2019 17:53

Never heard of it either but it is a thing

www.sammobile.com/apk/samsung-messages/

PoshNachosButJustDoritos · 13/10/2019 17:56

Why do you think he has started wearing his wedding ring then? Could you casually ask him in conversation? Seems a bit odd for that to be a clue somethings off. If anything it should be the other way round. I'd ask!

Ash39 · 13/10/2019 17:57

Have you asked him?

BloodyCats · 13/10/2019 17:58

Could he be part of a fitness chat?

Helmetbymidnight · 13/10/2019 18:01

really, hes secretly messaging someone day and night and taking photos and not sharing them with the op, and posters answers are is he having secret therapy or into looking good?

blimey please dont consider detective work.

op, it doesnt look good. these are massive clues that he is at least infatuated with someone else. most likely shagging, how would you feel if he was?

gwackywacky · 13/10/2019 18:06

@Helmetbymidnight
So how do you explain the ring then?

OP maybe he started wearing the ring to throw you off the scent but actually takes it off outside the house

BloodyCats · 13/10/2019 18:06

But usually if someone is cheating, they are more likely to want less sex, not wear a wedding ring and not be more attentive.

I dunno, just doesn’t sound like the actions of a cheater to me.

ScreamingLadySutch · 13/10/2019 18:06

I am so sorry.

DO NOT show your hand.

Put a voice activated recorder in his car.

Elieza · 13/10/2019 18:08

Do you have a Samsung too?

Could you ask him about “some Samsung app thing a girl on work has asked to chat to me on do you know what it is?”
If he says yeah he knows say “that’s great. How does it work what can it do is it free. Do you know how to work it or use it?”
Then if his stuff is innocent he will whip his phone out and show you. At which point you can say it’s great and who is he chatting to on it etc. Job done.

If it’s not innocent he will hide it. He has no idea you know what it is. He will not be expecting detective work.

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2019 18:10

Yes, could it be a fitness group at gym?

ScreamingLadySutch · 13/10/2019 18:10

@BloodyCats "But usually if someone is cheating, they are more likely to want less sex, not wear a wedding ring and not be more attentive"

This is the POLAR OPPOSITE of the truth.

Because their excitement and hormones are raging, they often seek more sex.

People make the mistake of thinking affairs are about connection ie, me or her.

That is not what affairs are about.

Ohnoherewego62 · 13/10/2019 18:13

Have you posted about this before OP?

Very familiar.

Inappropriatefemale · 13/10/2019 18:15

Gay/Bi was my first thought too or maybe is a midlife crisis without the Ferrari and 21 year old OW!

smoresmores · 13/10/2019 18:15

Put a voice activated recorder in his car.

Confused
Span1elsRock · 13/10/2019 18:17

I've got a Samsung phone, the messaging system is like a normal text messaging system but you can also use like WhatsApp in that it connects over wi-fi and you can set up group chats etc.

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 18:21

Thanks Span. So it's a separate messaging system from the one you get from your mobile provider is it? The one connected to your phone number?

Thanks for all replies. Trying to be calm while cooking dinner!

Idiot has no idea I can access his location of activity through his ipad. I have seen that on a few occasions before our holiday. He walked from work to an address across the road!

OP posts: