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Original poster

Husband sending lots of messages to someone.

127 replies

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:21

Decided to check on DH's Web activity as spider senses tingling. His phone is linked to his ipad via Google Play which I'm sure he is not aware of.

I have seen lots of messages have been sent via Samsung Android Messaging. Lots late at night but also during the day when he's at work. Some even minutes after he's left the house. I was not aware he uses this App.

We use normal text messages to communicate. He also uses a few other apps to communicate with family and friends but they show up separately on his activity log.

He started wearing his wedding ring a few months ago which surprised me as for over 20 years he said he couldn't as it annoyed himHmm. He also has increased his gym sessions (he is going as I can see his location), general grooming, even putting moisturiser on his legs after his shower in the morning on a work day.

He is very interested in sex recently as well.
If he is fucking around with someone else it has to be at work in a cupboard somewhere Grin. He works on a massive distribution site keeping irregular hours due to the nature of the job.

The messages go back as far as July so far but probably further as haven't got that far yet. Even while we were on holiday.

I can't find an answer online as to whether Samsung messaging shows on the activity log if you send a normal text? He allows me to use his phone and is not secretive but I am wondering if he's hidden the App?

Any ideas?

OP posts:
WhenPushComesToShove · 17/10/2019 01:07

If it's innocent OP he would be happy to show you who he is messaging at all hours of the day and night. Has he cheated on you before to your knowledge? He's no exactly reassuring you is he. Remember why your spider senses went off in the first place. You quite clearly do not trust him and it sounds like he has utter contempt for your feelings

minesagin37 · 17/10/2019 01:16

How much evidence do you need? Blimey! Come on op it's obvious to every poster that's responded on here apart from you. Go and see a solicitor and stop spending your time trying to set him up and doing it badly. Just sort your bank accounts, legal issues and keep it to yourself.

everytimerickysayscuntIlaugh · 17/10/2019 01:27

Op you know he is lying. It's just a big coincidence all these things are happening? Come on.

Inappropriatefemale · 17/10/2019 01:53

OP you know he is lying.

Maybe you should have considered what you’d do with the truth before you started looking into his phone and online activities, because as they say you can’t handle the truth, which is understandable but sad at the same time.

Original poster
Angie48 · 17/10/2019 02:43

Just found out that he was signed up to GirlsDateForFree from 2011 to 2012 via his Facebook apps and emails. Another site that took his details without permission?

Also his settings on the Zoosk app show email and phone notification off but android on which may explain the android messaging app logging on his activity.

Fucking hell. It couldn't get any worse Sad.

He could have been screwing other women for at least 8 years behind my back.

He's upstairs asleep, the son of a bitch.

OP posts:
nomoreclue · 17/10/2019 03:15

So sorry OP. What a wanker :(
He’s been at it for years by the sound of it. Disrespectful and vile.
What are you going to do?

nomoreclue · 17/10/2019 03:15

He basically can’t be trusted can he?

Inappropriatefemale · 17/10/2019 03:44

Imagine him sleeping like a baby whilst your going through all this.

He has obviously been unhappy all this time and said nothingHmm imo unhappy is code for ‘wanted to shag as many other women as possible’, what a cunt.

It says a lot about him that you’ve just noticed something going on just now and yet like you say, he could’ve been at it for years and yet, he said nothing to you.

He is obviously a dab hand at Con artistry to keep the facade of happiness up for so long, I cannot imagine how your feeling, I would wait until the kids are away to school etc, etc tomorrow and then kick him out.

Original poster
Angie48 · 17/10/2019 09:05

OK I found mobile numbers for two women in his email contacts. First names only. Very unusual.

I'm going to ring them this morning after I've smoked about 20 cigarettes. Any ideas on what I should say? I don't want yo sound like a loon. How can I start a conversation along the lines of do you know my husband? .

I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. I told him to stay at his brothers tonight. He has again denied all knowledge of the two other dating apps. Gave me his phone, which he had already probably wiped, then told me that I'd ruined his life, all I was good for was being the mother of his children and any woman could have done that. I know he'll tell the DC I'm crazy and he did nothing wrong which is why I want proof.

Don't know how I got DC to school without breaking down actually.

OP posts:
prawnsword · 17/10/2019 09:11

You don’t need proof. Just stop. That ship sailed when you blew your cover telling him every time you find a crumb. He has wiped evidence & will never admit to a thing you can’t prove. You’re just dragging out the drama by trying to find evidence you don’t need - trust is gone, you know your truth. Black yourself & stop tying yourself in knots playing sleuth.

you can’t control what people say about you & it would be innappropriate to provide your children proof that their father is being unfaithful. What is your end game here?

winterisstillcoming · 17/10/2019 09:23

I'm so sorry. Get as much evidence as you can, and get some support. It sounds as if you have some decisions to make.

From what you've said he has a nasty side, and is the type to turn it back on you when he has clearly done something wrong.

Try and keep as calm as you can.

NewYorkYankee · 17/10/2019 10:02

Why was HE on the bed and YOU on the sofa? You need to kick him out properly once and for all. OP you do realise that he has just been gaslighting you, telling you it's all in your head. Not to mention the vileness of reducing you to merely a vessel for his children like something out of the Handmaids Tale.

In your panic you have jumped too soon to show him your hand and given him ample time to wipe everything which he has of course done. You need a cool head bow. You can grieve properly after you have managed everything. You simply stick to your guns- "he had been using two hook up apps since 2014 behind my back." Let others fill in the gaps. That is ample reason to kick him out today and divorce.

Get his bags packed and then seek some legal advice. Did you screenshoot the images from his hook up accounts?

Ozziewozzie · 17/10/2019 10:12

Maybe he had an affair then ended it. He then decided to put in his ring to confirm to himself his commitment to you. The affair boosted his confidence genes sudden gym etc self obsession with himself. The OW is texting and visa versus but he is in his own mind not cheating as he’s not actually seeing her?

hellsbellsmelons · 17/10/2019 10:17

all I was good for was being the mother of his children and any woman could have done that
Good grief he's a callous wanker!
I totally understand the need for proof.
I was just like you and I did get my proof.
But honestly.... what would you do with it when you have it?
You can't tell the kids the honest truth.
It's just for your piece of mind.
But what he is saying is totally enough to kick the spineless twat out.

GuessWhoColeen · 17/10/2019 10:20

Did you google 'Punting' and the address he goes to?

I wouldn't ring those women.

I would probably just google their numbers.

He knows he's been caught red handed.

He will gaslight you now.

He is projecting because he has ruined his own life.

You should have waited a few weeks to get this all in the bag.

Anyway he will have deleted loads of stuff, so just think of your future now.

eenymeenyminyme · 17/10/2019 10:39

If you put the numbers into whatsapp you might be able to find more about these two women?

I've been through all this - the denial, the thinking you're going insane, the wanting proof after proof coz you can't believe what's happening... it's hell. I really feel for you and assure you that once you've kicked him out for good you'll feel a million times better, whatever mess he's left behind. Wishing you all the best Flowers

0lga · 17/10/2019 11:30

You showed your cards too soon and he will have deleted everything.

Stop looking for proof and start planning the future for you and the kids.

Sort out money , house, assets etc . See a solicitor.

everytimerickysayscuntIlaugh · 17/10/2019 11:57

Well you can just easily say all he was good for was sperm and any man could have done that. It's a stupid low thing to say.

Ignore his bullshit. Tell him 'that's great. We're still divorcing and I know the truth but carry on.'

MissPepper8 · 17/10/2019 12:15

Samsung android messanger is just the normal text function. Google it and the icon comes up for it.

There is an app Kik messanger, so this one is a cheaters favourite as its logged to your email and you can delete the app and it removes all messages and reinstall it the next day.

So if you say searched emails the email for registration would be there for it.

I wouldn't ring those numbers.. What if it was work colleagues? Did you say they were linked on his email? If he was deleting women before he came home then they'd be removed so they're obviously still on his phone. So nooo don't do it, this is embarrassment waiting to happen.

lottelupin · 17/10/2019 13:07

New York Yankee maybe don't make stuff up. 18 isn't a child.

lottelupin · 17/10/2019 13:10

OP I'm really sorry because I think I wrote something late at night and not very helpful.

I'm so sorry because it's hard to tell from a small indicator, and it could have all just been almost totally innocent, but with all that's come out now, it clearly isn't.

He's spoken absolutely horribly to you and seems v defensive and trying to belittle you. I'm so sorry. I hope you do get to the bottom of it.

If you check the numbers, do from and landline and press 141 first.

NewYorkYankee · 17/10/2019 15:32

Er @lottelupin 'maybe' read the full thread. Hmm The guy said he fancied 15 year olds. That is a CHILD.

lottelupin · 17/10/2019 17:06

Sorry New York then yes totally agree with you!!!! :( sorry

Historydweeb · 17/10/2019 18:25

I noticed that I had Zoosk on my old Facebook because I'd liked something else. I definitely definitely hadn't signed up or used it. It's like it linked to my account because of some interaction on another platform. It's notoriously Shit for this. Normally I'm all guns blazing but I know id never have signed up for it and nobody else uses or has access to my account. I'd believe him personally.

Historydweeb · 17/10/2019 18:26

Oh fuk. Just read your update. Ltb

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