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Original poster

Husband sending lots of messages to someone.

127 replies

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:21

Decided to check on DH's Web activity as spider senses tingling. His phone is linked to his ipad via Google Play which I'm sure he is not aware of.

I have seen lots of messages have been sent via Samsung Android Messaging. Lots late at night but also during the day when he's at work. Some even minutes after he's left the house. I was not aware he uses this App.

We use normal text messages to communicate. He also uses a few other apps to communicate with family and friends but they show up separately on his activity log.

He started wearing his wedding ring a few months ago which surprised me as for over 20 years he said he couldn't as it annoyed himHmm. He also has increased his gym sessions (he is going as I can see his location), general grooming, even putting moisturiser on his legs after his shower in the morning on a work day.

He is very interested in sex recently as well.
If he is fucking around with someone else it has to be at work in a cupboard somewhere Grin. He works on a massive distribution site keeping irregular hours due to the nature of the job.

The messages go back as far as July so far but probably further as haven't got that far yet. Even while we were on holiday.

I can't find an answer online as to whether Samsung messaging shows on the activity log if you send a normal text? He allows me to use his phone and is not secretive but I am wondering if he's hidden the App?

Any ideas?

OP posts:
Inappropriatefemale · 13/10/2019 18:23

iPhones are far easier to investigate and check up on, break his Samsung and buy him an IPhone and then set it up got FindMyPhone without his knowledge, obvsGrin

Inappropriatefemale · 13/10/2019 18:24

A woman that thinks she’s being cheated on does better research than the FBI...obvs MN is the first port of callGrin

Original poster
Angie48 · 13/10/2019 18:26

If my gut instinct is wrong, I'll never trust myself again!

I thought he even smelt different for the last few months. I have asked him. he's denied but made no effort to reassure me.

I'll try and get hold of his phone to look for that App if it's hidden.

Some of the messages were sent at 1-2 am. Lots when he's at work in the morning as I cross checked his rota.

OP posts:
Inappropriatefemale · 13/10/2019 18:27

There are secret apps that people can hide cheating messages and dirty pics in, have a look on the net, cheaters clearly make these App Software Developers plenty money.

BristolCat · 13/10/2019 18:29

What's the address he's been walking to OP?

Lifeisabeach09 · 13/10/2019 18:31

Doesn't look good, OP.
I'd see who is at that address.

adviceplease321 · 13/10/2019 18:37

I was going to say the same, can you find out who's address - a house or something else

Slappadabass · 13/10/2019 18:42

It doesn't look good unfortunately, you need to get hold of his phone and check that app. I hope for your sake it's all innocent and he's just trying to make a effort with you.

Original poster
Angie48 · 13/10/2019 18:43

I've googled the address. It's an end of terrace house two streets away from work. I thought perhaps his phone was picking up the wrong place but it clearly shows that he was walking. It was on 3 occasions before our holiday. We had lots of sex while away and lots since we came back so it looks like he's not gone there since. There was messages sent the day after we arrived, a few in the middle of when we were away, then more on the day we came back. Since we've come back there's been very few.

Thank god for Google eh Grin.

I'm trying to keep calm and carry on.

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 13/10/2019 18:44

Whatever you do keep quiet until you've done some more digging.....if you want to get to the truth it's crutial that you do this.

Inappropriatefemale · 13/10/2019 18:49

What did women who suspected their partners of cheating, do before the internet? Pay a PI and get them tailed?Hmm

BristolCat · 13/10/2019 19:08

I think you can find out who's registered at an address online through electoral records? Or 192.com?

gwackywacky · 13/10/2019 19:17

What are the chances of him finding someone to shag who also happens to conveniently live right near his work? Not likely. Maybe it's a doctor or physio or something

TripleSeptic · 13/10/2019 19:24

Could it be something to do with his job that he's messaging about? I have a system at work that sends leads and enquires through to my phone 24/7/365. I can chose to action them, or not, someone else will always pick them up. Maybe it's something work related, perhaps speaking to people in a different time zone, or working similarly antisocial hours of to him?

WagtailRobin · 14/10/2019 03:00

What sort of area is this terrace house in, I ask because I am wondering if it's possibly a sex worker's address?

It is possible on a Samsung to hide apps and also to have conversations beyond the internal messaging system.

I hate a lot of the instant drama on here, people always saying straight off "He's cheating" but in this instance from all you have stated it does sound as if there IS something going on, I stress "something" though as it may not be cheating. (Although it certainly looks like it).

AliciaQuays · 14/10/2019 06:37

I bet it’s a colleague

bakesalesally · 14/10/2019 07:04

Can you drive to the address?

TrickorWheat · 14/10/2019 07:11

My first thought was he is using sex workers.

Weejo39 · 14/10/2019 08:12

Could he be taking steroids? I say this because the change of smell off him, taking pics of his muscles, perhaps a group chat on all things muscle growth with other fun goers??? No idea about the terrace house, maybe a sex worker or steroid pusher.

Weejo39 · 14/10/2019 08:18

*gym goers

Springfern · 14/10/2019 08:41

Maybe he's joined the cult of crossfit. You don't have to be gay to take muscle pics

Alenia45 · 15/10/2019 11:09

Any update OP?

hellsbellsmelons · 15/10/2019 13:04

With lack of update, I'm assuming the worse.
But literally ALL of the signs are there OP.
He has ticked every box on the cheaters list.
I hope you get to the bottom of it.
Good luck.

Original poster
Angie48 · 15/10/2019 22:00

Update - checked his phone which he had left on the side as usual, while he was fixing DS's bike in the garage. Ran upstairs with it and locked myself in the loo Grin. I spent a good hour trying to find hidden apps. There was nothing suspicious that was disabled in his settings. The messaging app that was logged on his activity wasn't even installed Hmm so I installed it to see if anything came up but it was just the text messages on his phone on there. Nothing at all untoward. I was quite disappointed Confused.

I came down and handed the phone to him and told him what I was looking for. He didn't know what I was on about, then got very pissed off unsurprisingly. Changed all his passwords to stop me imagining shit in his words and took off his wedding ring as it bothered me so much he'd put it on Hmm. He said his fingers had got bigger so it fitted better now as an explanation for that. Still no explanation for the messages logged. They weren't sent at the same time as normal texts either. Can't have been updates if the app wasn't even installedHmm.

We were having a discussion about cheating today and he said he doesn't think it is a betrayal if the marriage is shit but the man doesn't leave due to the DC Hmm as no one owns anyone and they should be able to do what they want.

I have a feeling if he's not doing anything now then he has or came close to it in the past, with hindsight. Its only in the last few months that I've noticed stuff, like he started shaving downstairs a few years ago as he said he hated being sweaty, new sexual techniques, being very disconnected at times.

There was a period a few years back where he was withdrawing £50-100 in one go in cash a few times a week. We have separate bank accounts and I only came across it by accident. I did think sex workers then. He works in a massive site which is male dominated. Makes sense sex workers would ply their trade there. He could have done it after work as he finishes at different times.

Our relationship is very good atm so not sure what to do. No proof. I guess I need to forget about it and enjoy the moment or I can keep on driving myself crazy Gin. I'll probably end up putting a voice recorder in his car though at some point though. Car has been checked for another phone and nothing.

OP posts:
Horehound · 15/10/2019 22:05

Can you get him to log onto his mobile phone account and have a look at his activity log that way? It should show the phone number any texts were sent to