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Original poster

Husband sending lots of messages to someone.

127 replies

Angie48 · 13/10/2019 17:21

Decided to check on DH's Web activity as spider senses tingling. His phone is linked to his ipad via Google Play which I'm sure he is not aware of.

I have seen lots of messages have been sent via Samsung Android Messaging. Lots late at night but also during the day when he's at work. Some even minutes after he's left the house. I was not aware he uses this App.

We use normal text messages to communicate. He also uses a few other apps to communicate with family and friends but they show up separately on his activity log.

He started wearing his wedding ring a few months ago which surprised me as for over 20 years he said he couldn't as it annoyed himHmm. He also has increased his gym sessions (he is going as I can see his location), general grooming, even putting moisturiser on his legs after his shower in the morning on a work day.

He is very interested in sex recently as well.
If he is fucking around with someone else it has to be at work in a cupboard somewhere Grin. He works on a massive distribution site keeping irregular hours due to the nature of the job.

The messages go back as far as July so far but probably further as haven't got that far yet. Even while we were on holiday.

I can't find an answer online as to whether Samsung messaging shows on the activity log if you send a normal text? He allows me to use his phone and is not secretive but I am wondering if he's hidden the App?

Any ideas?

OP posts:
bubbles1960 · 15/10/2019 23:03

Holy shit mate. You need to find the secure folder but he'll have changed the password by now
www.samsung.com/uk/support/mobile-devices/what-is-the-secure-folder-and-how-do-i-use-it/
FYI he can hide the folder from the app screen.
He's just told you your marriage of 20 years means nothing, that's not a very a very good relationship atm and you should not be enjoying the moment. He's an arsehole and you deserve a lot better. He's gaslighting you, if he had nothing to hide he'd have given you access to everything.

Closetbeanmuncher · 15/10/2019 23:13

OP he's blatently cheating probably with sex workers and by telling him you've seriously dented your chances of ever getting to the truth.

So he doesn't wear his wedding ring and thinks it's fine for men to cheat, and has just changed the password on his phone?

You're being taken for mug, I can't believe how brazen this arsehole actually is!

nevernotstruggling · 15/10/2019 23:18

It's one of those where we say do you need actual proof x

GuessWhoColeen · 15/10/2019 23:43

Its sex workers. 100%

Treacletoots · 16/10/2019 07:59

So, you've two options. You can be one of those partners who turn a blind eye to their partners behaviour because everything else is OK.

Or you can kick him out because it's very clear to everyone he's been using sex workers. You have enough evidence already, you don't actually need to catch him in the act or a full confession to make it OK to ask him to leave. This is enough.

Your choice though.

Inappropriatefemale · 16/10/2019 08:42

Sex workers without a doubt although they don’t ‘ply their trade’ in certain places as you put it, they’re most likely from Adult Work and live all over the place in normal flats like normal people.

He sounds like a right cunt, sorry to say, what strange things to say when confronted, I think he’s given you more questions than answers now and I wish you hadn’t have said anything to him until you had some sort of proof.

Inappropriatefemale · 16/10/2019 08:44

Also he’s not taking off his ring because the sex workers won’t approve, most of their trade is from married man which is sad, but true, he is obviously keeping it off because he isn’t happy in the marriage, prick.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/10/2019 08:55

as no one owns anyone and they should be able to do what they want
Well it's nice to see he takes his wedding vows seriously!!!

What an update OP.
I know what I'd be doing.

Hopingtobeamum · 16/10/2019 08:55

There's spy software you can install on his phone, you'll need to hide the app in a secret folder on his phone (google how to do that).
Depending on which software and paid package you go for this will track his location and keystroke movements on his phone. You can even get software which will record his screen at 5 second intervals so even if he deletes / hides messages the videos of his screen will be there to see.
Good luck, I hope you don't find out anything sinister and it's all just a misunderstanding

simone1863 · 16/10/2019 09:17

Is this not just the app for sending SMS hijacked on Samsung phones so they can add their own features/advertising?

Like if other Androids had Huawei or Motorola messaging, or whatever.

Mitebiteatnite · 16/10/2019 09:24

When DH sends a normal text it shows up on his Google activity as 'Samsung Android Messaging'. I know this because we spent ages trying to work out what it was, and then tested it by him sending a normal text to me. It then showed up in his activity log. The timing wasn't exact, but it was close enough. I'd suggest if the timings are way off then he's deleting messages he's been sending.

0lga · 16/10/2019 13:08

We were having a discussion about cheating today and he said he doesn't think it is a betrayal if the marriage is shit but the man doesn't leave due to the DC hmm as no one owns anyone and they should be able to do what they want

So he’s just told you that he can and will cheat if he wants to.

Nice.

I don’t understand why you would say your relationship is very good. I’d be devastated to be told that.

Unless you don’t mind him cheating , in which case stop spying on him if it’s not a problem for you.

Inappropriatefemale · 16/10/2019 13:16

Olga a bit harsh don’t you think, obviously the OP thought that her marriage was happy, like so many people that get cheated on, it’s not a nice realisation that your OH isn’t happy and yet has said nothing to you about it, and instead chooses to cheat with sex workers.

Bear in mind OP that many men don’t see using sex workers as cheating, this is utterly ridiculous though and to that I say “well why tell your wife at the golf course/work then if it’s not cheating”Hmm

0lga · 16/10/2019 14:11

Which bit of what I said do you think is harsh ? My saying that I’d be devasted if my husband told me that?

Or a man telling his wife of 20 years that it’s ok for him to cheat If he considers that the marriage is shit?

Or my saying to the OP that she might as well stop spying on him if she doesn’t mind him cheating ? Because I don’t see the point of looking for evidence of cheating - he’s just told her that he thinks it’s ok for him to cheat.

At least now she knows where she stands and can decide if she wants to stay ( and accept him cheating ) or go.

Elieza · 16/10/2019 19:34

How can you ever trust him when he has basically saying you should’ve grateful he’s still here for DC and it’s not cheating as the marriage is shit and he should be able to do as he wants.

Wow. What a catch. Do you even want to share a house with him now you’ve seen how he really feels.

Sorry you’re going through this.

Divebar · 16/10/2019 19:59

I was curious about a Chinese Massage place near my house and googled the address and the word punting and got a page of reviews from UK Punting for the place which obviously was being run as a brothel. I could read a page of reviews without having to join the site thankfully. Another MNetter was also concerned about an address in Liverpool and when I searched the name of the place in the same way also found reviews from that site. Check the address you have before you start thinking about downloading software etc.

Original poster
Angie48 · 16/10/2019 22:35

Well I just found him on the Zoosk dating app. Definitely him. He's cropped a picture which had our DS in Angry.

I looked through his emails and found one from Zoosk updating their terms and conditions. He must have forgotten to delete it.

I made a fake profile and sent him a heart. Had to spend £25!

OP posts:
Original poster
Angie48 · 16/10/2019 22:37

He's just come in. Hoping he'll message me.

OP posts:
Minionmomma · 16/10/2019 22:40

Oh no op. I’m sorry.

However information is power. You’ve got him now.

GuessWhoColeen · 16/10/2019 22:41

He will say one of the following -

He knew it was you.

His mates put him on it as a joke.

He can shag who he wants.

Its an old account.

He likes the attention.

Blah Blah Blah.

He is probably on loads.

Google reverse images on his photo.

And google 'punting' and the address he goes to.

stanski · 16/10/2019 22:48

Oh no :( good on following your instinct though!

Capricornandproud · 16/10/2019 22:48

Oh love. How gutting for you. What an utter shitbag.

Tempting as it is to sew his nuts together while he sleeps, try and keep your powder dry for a few days. Do the usual - get to a solicitor, gather paperwork and info and (I must be the only MNetter that ok’s this - but I’d be emptying bank accounts. Fuck him!

stucknoue · 16/10/2019 22:49

I don't want to worry you but h barely wore his ring for 20 years then in the last year made a big thing of wearing it before announcing he was leaving!

MarianaMoatedGrange · 16/10/2019 22:50

So sorry OP. But glad you know the truth.

Fine work on the dating site! hope he bites.

Inappropriatefemale · 16/10/2019 22:58

What a bastard, I’m really sorry and I know you must be feeling like shit, I’m so glad that you found out for sure so that you don’t feel like your paranoid or crazy which is what a lot of cheaters tell their wives when they suspect, -and rightly so- cheating.

I am just reiterating what others said about getting things in order, I’m not married so I’m unsure about all the legalities but there’s plenty on here that know about what your next steps should be.

Thankfully you scratched that itch or you’d never have known.

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