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Original poster

To ask how do couples read a book together

100 replies

chocowoko · 08/10/2019 22:58

Is it to read one book together or to read together but different books?

Sorry for being a bit clueless but therapist asked us to read a book together as a couple exercise. Anyone ever did that or know how two people can read one book together? Or any tips for this exercise?

Thanks

OP posts:

Sooverthemill · 09/10/2019 07:41

Personally this would make me divorce my DH. We have massively different tastes and it would take about 6 months to find something we could both tolerate. When I was pregnant he would read to the baby and it made me cringe. I love him but he puts on a fake theatrical voice and changes for each character. The kids love it. But I wasn't read to by parents as a child. I like reading by myself. It's my book and my imagination. DH also reads weird books like non fiction, maths and economics. It would be like doing homework. I wouldn't do it.

lazylinguist · 09/10/2019 07:44

Take turns to read to each other in bed each night. It's a lovely habit.

Dh and I mostly like the same kinds of books, but I woukd absolutely hate this!

WWlOOlWW · 09/10/2019 07:45

We listen to books together most nights. I couldn't imagine reading out loud to each other!

BillywilliamV · 09/10/2019 07:46

I banned DH from reading to the DC because he was so bad at it, if he read out loud to me I would end up strangling him. Reading aloud is an skill, and it has to be practised!

BillywilliamV · 09/10/2019 07:47

Besides, I expect this is a sex or relationship manual...

ILikeyourHairyHands · 09/10/2019 07:51

Two copies surely? DH and I have similar reading tastes and our favourite book is the same, but I read a novel in a day and it takes DH about 9 months, so that would be a very shit exercise for us.

AmIThough · 09/10/2019 07:52

This is the most bizarre suggestion. I would throttle DP.

(And he's a really slow reader!)

PocketMoneyMonster · 09/10/2019 07:57

Unless it's some kind of self help book related to the counselling, then this is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/10/2019 07:57

I can’t imagine anyone banning their partner from reading to their children.

I used to love listening to DH read to DS, he was much better than me at doing different voices. Although, depending on the book, I would sometimes go to sleep!

Never read like this as a couple though. We have very different tastes in books, would probably have to read a children’s book which we both loved!

CormacMcLaggen · 09/10/2019 08:00

I don't know why exactly, but the idea of reading to my DH or him reading to me makes me cringe.

Reading is my relaxation, I can really lose myself in a page-turning plot - it would totally ruin my enjoyment to try to 'share' that.

BeerandBiscuits · 09/10/2019 08:23

Reading to each other, or reading the same book together would spoil the whole experience for me. Too distracting.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 09/10/2019 08:26

Omg I love reading but I would HATE this! Reading is not meant to be done out loud and to other people! I can just picture DHs Face if I suggested this 🤦‍♀️

BertieBotts · 09/10/2019 09:07

I can't imagine DH or I taking reading aloud seriously - we would be taking the piss out of the story and unable to actually enjoy it :o

A nice box set together we can do.

FriedasCarLoad · 09/10/2019 09:16

If it’s a factual book we roughly take it in turns. For fiction, we each have one on the go. DH is better at reading comedy or accents, I’m better at reading older classics.

But we always end up chatting about it afterwards.

AudacityOfHope · 09/10/2019 09:23

Fucking hell, reading out loud to each other.

Even thinking about that makes me want to die.

No marriage can weather that amount of nonsense surely [gein]

Artesia · 09/10/2019 09:49

The idea of reading out loud to each other is utterly hideous to me. As another poster said, reading and reacting to a book is quite a personal thing for me, not a shared activity.

It reminds me of something I saw on tv once- it was a programme about the most expensive gifts in the world. One guy was getting a bespoke, leather bound, gilt edged colouring book made for his wife. He gave photos of them at significant moments (eg engagement) to an artist who did line drawings of them. The idea was to give it to his wife for Christmas, and they would spend evenings colouring together.

Maybe DH and I have a very different relationship, but I just can’t imagine spending evenings colouring or reading out loud together.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/10/2019 09:55

My DH only reads novels set in old wars. I think if I had to listen tohim read Hornblower or Sharpe books I would go slowly mad.

He doesn't get my attraction to detective books. Although we sometimes have a giggle when I fill him in on the particularly gruesome murders.

Ginisatonic · 09/10/2019 10:01

DH and I share our kindle libraries. But we have quite different tastes in books so we only occasionally read the same one. I can’t imagine reading out loud to one another. It would definitely kill our marriage.

DryIce · 09/10/2019 10:06

Echo above on reading out loud to each other, total cringe. And grounds for divorce.

Weirdly, though, we did just read a book together the other day - I lay in his lap and he read over my shoulder. It was oddly lovely. But as a one-off, I wouldn't recommend it for every book! As general advice, surely the real suggestion is to both share and discuss something - so two copies and a few chats during seems like a winner

Crunchymum · 09/10/2019 10:10

I wonder if the book / reading is a bit of a red herring here and the therapist wants to see how you decide to make this work?

IE do you both read the same book or do you read to each other by taking turns.

Whatever you decide gives the therapist insight into your relationship?

TwiddleMuff · 09/10/2019 10:13

DH read a book aloud to me - the Ramayana! It began as a joke but I got into it. Never been repeated, can’t say that bothers me.

Ariela · 09/10/2019 10:22

Of no help whatsoever, but I knew DH and I were perfectly matched when I (a fairly fast reader) found I could read upside down what DH was reading on the other side of the breakfast bar the right way up at exactly the same pace as him.

Sashkin · 09/10/2019 10:33

Take turns to read to each other in bed each night. It's a lovely habit.

It would make me feel like DH’s mum if I read him a bedtime story. I couldn’t do it with a straight face.

If he read to me, my mind would wander after about two minutes (nothing against his reading voice, it wanders with audiobooks/radio too). I’d rather just read a book normally. I read much faster than he talks.

Sashkin · 09/10/2019 10:34

Also we don’t like the same books! So at least one of us would be bored rigid.

notso · 09/10/2019 10:36

I can't bear hearing DH read to the kids let alone me.
He is an intelligent, articulate man who gives successful presentations for work and has been told on many occasions he has 'the gift of the gab'.
He reads aloud like a shy five year old. So monotone, I swear hearing him stumble through the Snail and The Whale etc encouraged the children to learn to read as quick as they could so they could say "I'll read you just listen Daddy!"

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