Am I being unrealistic in my expectations?

[NewStart571]

I have been with my boyfriend for years. We split up last month briefly but have now got back together.

We split because of his cold hearted behaviour towards me. This culminated in him saying that looks wise I was a 5 out of ten. This was a devastating blow to my confidence. To hear my own boyfriend basically call me ugly was just horrendous.

We have discussed matters and I told him he needed to stop criticising me and that I felt that I had to beg him for a kind word. He told me that I was asking him to be someone he wasn’t.

So today, he was discussing his best friend’s wife with a mutual friend in front of me. He rated her a 7/10.

Am I being out of order to absolutely despair at this? Like he has plenty of ability to praise his friends wife (he also says she is a brilliant cook whilst criticising my cooking) but can’t even say a single nice thing to me.

I’m not expecting lavish declarations of my brilliance. But he literally does not say anything nice about me. He makes me feel unreasonable when I ask him to be a bit kinder towards me.

Definitely agree with @ Windydaysuponus on this. Your supposed BF is a total ass, with seemingly no BF qualities at all !

You need to dump his ass as publicly as possible ! but before you do........you need to do THIS

Make sure he overhears you discussing HIM and giving him a MUCH LOWER rating than a friend of his !

Your friend '' I think Steve is a 9 cos he's handsome, and also he cooks a great chilli !''

You'' Oh yeah, I agree, and I'll bet he's a 10 in bed too, unlike my Joe who's not even a 3 in bed cos he's clueless and only has a micro penis anyway and only a 4 in looks cos he's so weedy/ fat/ bald ( whatever he's vain about). He can't even cook at all, so he's crap at that too ! but I suppose he'll do until something better comes along ! LOL, LOL !

The thing to do is to mull this all over and decide what to do next...

Avoid him, that way he cant do more damage.

How would you split practically? Where will you go??

But the main thing is, not to allow him to upset your frame of mind by saying mean shit.

In actually breaking it off, I prefer this..
Pack a bag, prepare for a night elsewhere.
Sit him down and tell him it's over.
Give him an hour to get used to it.
During that hour, broken record technique. Simple phrases, repeated.
Then leave.
Make sure nothing precious he could steal it break.

Then, avoid and plan the exit xx

Should your partner make you feel beautiful (even if you’re not?)

In a word, yes.

Get rid of this twat. After you've rated him a 3, that is.

"For those of you who have partners or have had partners - do they tell you that you’re beautiful? Do they try to build up your confidence?"

Yes!! This is the point of a loving partner. My self esteem and confidence wasn't the best when I met DP, he has changed that for me and he tells me how much he loves seeing my confidence grow. He always tells me I'm hot/beautiful/amazing etc and how much he adores me. He's just full of compliments and I know they're genuine. I'm the same with him. We are each other's biggest fans. As it should be.

Ditch this waste of space. If the one person who is supposed to love you cannot say a single nice thing about you, it says they don't actually like you very much at all. You can do much better OP.