Should i leave my wife if i still love her?

[UnsureHusband]

Where do I start?

Im posting on here after reading some other threads in the hope that I get some similar honest and non judgemental feedback.

Ive been with my wife for 18 years married for 14 and we have 3 kids at Primary school.
I love her but dont feel like im in love with her any more. we dont argue much and we treat each other well but the spark just isnt there. However she is my best friend and i am absolutely torn about what to do.
For some time now ive felt like i want a life of my own, i want to go "do me". But dont mistake that with seeing other people because Im not interested in that.
At the moment we are ships in the night as i work days and she works nights and any free time we have together we do a family or couple thing. On the rare occasions i get to do something by myself the guilt is crippling.

Im so lost i dont know what to do, if i leave her i would break her heart. We would both only get half of our kids time however it does feel like sometimes we are 2 singles parents living together at the moment.
Im worried how she would cope. Im worried how it will affect our kids and what they would think of me.

Do i stay for another 15 years until the kids have moved out? Doesnt seem right, id be Miserable and wasting 15 years of her life. Whos needs do i prioritize first? Mine, hers, the kids?

The biggest confusing thing in all this is i do love my wife and i really dont know what to do.
Any help from anyone thats been in a similar situation appreciated

I've been an OH my whole adult life too.

It seems like you'd leave, realise it's the same life with less money and end up trying to reconcile. Maybe DW has moved on by then and you lose it all.

Just unrealistic expectations for life from the sounds of it. If you really don't want to sleep around, everything you described will improve when the kids get older. Sorting the night shifts out would be a better first step - even if it means a new job. Presumably DW would consider it if she knew the alternative?

I think the phrase is 'stop looking at other people's grass when you should be watering your own'

I always LOL at some of the angry replies you've obviously both given a lot in the marriage and being together from so young you're bound to grow and change.
I'd talk to her if I was you and air your feelings and see where she's at? She might feel the same or be willing to work through it.

If you want to leave then be clear about it and honest.
People change, grow and want different things.
You're not a bad person.

Good luck

People say you should not stay for the sake of the children - but I do think it depends on the circumstances. If you hated each other and were at each others throats all the time, then yes. But you still love her and presumably she loves you, so you are creating a stable home life for them.

I wonder what your wife is thinking? Maybe she feels the same, but is perhaps more able to see that this daily grind of keeping a family together, housed and fed is simply life at this stage.

I remember the 3 young children stage and it could be quite punishing, but worth the effort in the end.

I think you are expecting too much.