I never met the right one for me and this is it

[RosyMail]

Just as the title says. All my friends are married and most with kids.

I’ve done the usual stuff, got a career, a house, traveled, joined clubs, go to the gym. I’m not a model but I had male attention.

I’ve stopped online dating. Never found anyone I fell for. I’m just so sad. This is it for me now. Just the same old shit everyday, the same stuff I’ve been doing for years on end.

How do I deal with this? I can’t live the rest of my life this way

OP, your post made me very sad for you.

Have you considered speaking to a counsellor about your approach to relationships? Have you had a long relationship before? Is there a pattern (are men being put off early on, or perhaps you move on without getting to know them)?

I certainly agree that it isn't too late by any stretch! But can understand why it might feel that way.

Sorry, just saw your update about therapy not working for you.

Abitmore
"I feel real grief at going into my middle age alone and these comments are SO unhelpful."

OP, agree with you about the grass is greener thing, there is definitely irony about people in relationships (or single people who have children from past relationships) waxing lyrical about the advantages of being single. Unhelpful for this thread and your current frame of mind I think.

Also... can we have votes please for the comment that wins the thread, smile more or this gem:
"The whole beautiful world is out there"
🤣

What chocoholic 72 said is quite similar to my situation and I am about the same age. Men have never been particularly interested in me so I eventually gave up. I don't have much in the way of friends either. I think I may be a little odd.

My heart might not get much exercise (I'm not as sociable as chocoholic is) but my mind gets plenty. I've pretty much regressed back to being the Kid who Loved to Read and I've learned so much. I am also fascinated by other people's jobs so I do like chatting about what they do if I manage to meet people, that's nice. People are amazing even if I don't quite know what to do with them. I have basically just reorientated my life.

I won't pretend I am happy and content but I am coping and there are interesting things to do. Sometimes there are exquisite moments like when a fox stopped and looked straight into my eyes one night when I was late home from work. I have a great relationship with my surviving parent - I fear what will happen without her but for the moment family chats and those fox moments are the type of thing that keeps me going.

I hope this doesn't seem like another wildly simplistic idea, but have you thought of getting a lodger? I am one. I'm also single and childless in my thirties and would prefer not to be, but I have the 'advantage' of a low income so need to share. It means there is some to say 'morning' to, talk about my day with, and sometimes eat and hang out with without having to make the effort to go out. I'm really good friends with my landlord. If it stops working well lodgers don't have many rights so are easy to get rid of if it doesn't work out.
Advantages of a lodger over a dog:
No one thinks you're a bad person if you get rid of them because you're not that into them after all - you don't need to commit for life.
You can leave them unattended for long periods and they'll be fine.
They talk back.

I like the idea of a lodger over a dog (or cat). But that's just me.