Is this rape?

[bumbleboots]

Met a guy on tinder.
Arranged to meet for a late drink.
Got on well.
There seemed to be chemistry.
Both recent break ups after 4 year plus long relationship.
On the rebound
Agree to have sex.
Go back to his hotel.
Kissing. Fingering (sorry) etc.
He then penetrated me without a condom.
I said "no, you need a condom"
He carries on.
I make to move myself away.
He won't let go.
I said "no you need a condom"
He holds me down and cums inside me.
I am shocked
Feel ridiculously stupid
I put myself in a bad position
I say nothing
Get dressed
Go home
In shock
He unmatched me on tinder
I am covered in his cum
I feel disgusting
In shock
Feel stupid

Been at police station all day.

Oh god OP, so sorry this happened to you.

Glad you decided to report it. This rapist is a danger, especially being on those apps too, I think you wouldn't have been the first, but hopefully the last if justice is hopefully served.

Of course this is rape, you can withdraw consent at any time, and in any condition, and if that's not listened to and the man forces himself and carries on, of course it's rape.

For the one person who questioned it, watch the tea and sexual consent video on Youtube. You need to educate yourself, and not spread these dangerous opinions around, especially to other women/girls.

You sound in a very vulnerable position at the moment, I hope the police can put you in touch with a rape crisis counsellor

Oh god bumble what a nightmare. I hope you're being taken good care of :(

I am so sorry to read this. Sending lots of hugs x

Thinking of you xx

How awful! Hope you’re ok op, you’ve been very brave

Just finished forensics. It mostly just tickled and wasn't as scary as expected tbh.
Apparently don't drink or brush your teeth after a rape. Don't wipe

Glad forensics was ok OP. What a brave woman you are, it must have taken some serious guts to do what you did today! I hope you're getting some emotional support, from a friend or a counsellor.

Well done for doing it. You are very brave. Well done. I hope you have some support with you tonight? X

for you.
I hope they can get hold of him wherever he has flown to, and make him answerable for what he's done.

@bumbleboots I just wanted to say you’re amazing for having the strength to go and report this vile pathetic excuse of a human to the police. I know you said you were scared and you didn’t want to go- but bloody hell woman you did it and you spent all day there and I’m in awe of your strength and your courage in doing so. I hope you are sleeping now and I have some support too. Have you felt able to tell anyone you’re close to? 🌟

Massive well done for reporting

I think you're great, bumbleboots.

Something similar happened to me when I was young, I wish I had had your guts at the time.

Well done for staying strong and reporting!
Thoughts are totally with you, no one deserves to go through this

Well done for reporting.

Yes that's rape hun. Consider reporting him if you feel able. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere, it might teach him a lesson, and all men in general need to learn rape is not ok and we might report it.

You did nothing wrong. Hugs if you want them xx

Sorry, just catching up with the thread. Well done!

I told my ex what happened for support. I'm not in contact with my family. I'm quite alone. I must have mentioned this post on mumsnet. He found it and is furious. We had broken up 2 weeks before the incident. But he views what happened as cheating. It's made things worse

If you broke up, it wasn’t cheating. Do not worry about what he thinks at the moment. You have enough to deal with. You’ve been through something horrible.

Well there’s the reason he is an ex lovely 💐

I'm so sorry he had such a dickhead, self-centred reaction. What sort of twisted bastard thinks that way? He's reading this, is he? Right - OP's ex, you are a pathetic excuse for a human being and you ought to be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

Well he's clearly an ex for a reason.
What a nasty piece of work.
Please OP, you need some help.
Contact Rape Crisis and get some proper counselling for this and your previous rape.
You sound like a very vulnerable person.
Do NOT get involved with any men at all for a while.
THEY cannot make you feel better.
THEY will make you feel worse.
Do some work on yourself.
Also contact Womens Aid. Ask about their Freedom Programme.
You don't appear to have any boundaries here.
They can help you with all of that.
Do NOT confide in your Ex. Do NOT talk to your Ex.

It was so so brave to go the police.
Well done!!!!
That's a huge step for you and you did it.
Now get the morning after pill.
Get to your GUM clinic as soon as you can for tests.
Again well done - but please now reach out for the help you need to ensure you avoid all this in the future!

Your Ex reacted like that? FFS, bumbleboots, if you didn't have enough to deal with. Good thing he's an Ex. What a dick!

You're being very brave.

Well there’s the reason he is an ex lovely 💐

Exactly this 👆. Ignore him, he is being incredibly selfish and thoughtless.