Moving out from abusive partner and legal rights

[Lena007]

I'm planning to move out with DS to escape abuser. He knows I will be moving out but doesn't know when.

Is it legal to take some furniture with me? (Sofa bed, TV stand and table and chairs, the rest of it I can leave behind). 4 bedroom house fully furnished. He says I'm not allowed to take anything except of personal possessions like clothes/shoes. Everything else is joined therefore because I voluntarily leave the house, it has to stay in it until we divorce. I just want a few basics for a start so I won't have to buy it all again. He is not willing to sell the house and is planning to rent bedrooms when I'm gone. The house is jointly owned still on mortgage. Can he do this when I object?

I'm scared that I won't be allowed to be back in the house and won't see everything left there ever again.

I'm so lost.

Jesus Christ stop taking him to school until this is dealt with and do not talk to them. Do not let them talk to DS.

When he turns up, because he will. Just call the police. Do not speak to him or open the door.
Honestly in your shoes i would move somewhere , even a hotel, so he cant turn up and harass you- but to avoid him shouting abduction ask your solicitor or women's aid what you can do now, today to protect yourself from this harassment

More importantly be on you solicitors case to get the court order asap- there appears to be some complacency around getting this done as a matter or urgency.

Thank god you've got him and are now keeping him off school. I also think if you can afford it, stay in a cheap hotel for a couple of nights so he can't harass you. Or is there somewhere else you can stay with a friend/family further away, that he won't think to go to? What a terrible situation to be in, I really feel for you.
How is your DS?

Oh Lena thank goodness!

I'm looking at non molestation order to see if I could apply for it myself

Omigod. Heart in mouth much?

I will post fully shortly but, in the meantime, PLEASE chuck a few bits of clothing for you and ds in a bag and GET OUT now.

Go visit distant friends, throw yourself of anyone who has a sofa you can surf, check into a cheap hotel, or, it there's literally no-one who can be of assistance, call Women's Aid and ask for a temporary stay in a refuge until you are in possession of the residence order.

If he is under the impression that he'll be collecting ds from school today, you know that he'll be hotfooting it to your address when he realises he's been thwarted and MIL will be in attendance to barrack you.

Don't believe that all you'll have to do is call the police to have him removed as there's a danger that a interfering misguided police officer may take it upon themselves to act as a social worker/attempt to mediate etc and you may have to watch helplessly as ds is driven off by his df & dgm.

PLEASE act now Lena - you know that better safe than sorry makes sense.

Throw yourself *ON the mercy of anyone etc.

You should also be aware that all of this to-ing and fro-ing and battling in the street, police activity etc must be most unsettling for your ds. Please get him to a place where you won't be bothered by the deranged twat and can enjoy some quality time together.

He was trying to get DS from school at 1pm and started emailing that school has informed police about DS being kidnapped he clearly thinks I'm so stupid and I have no clue.

Our joined friend started sending me txt messages saying how crap and unreasonable mother I am and that I've left the house and abandoned DS there so he's to come back home asap. She said I can still see him but only in the house (thanks for the permission! ).

Aye right. Why the hell would I take all his stuff then? She is blocked now.

It's just a matter of time before he turns up on your doorstep again.

Who is the 'joined friend'? Is that a euphemism for MIL?

He's just going to turn up and cause a scene at your place, with your ds witnessing it and no doubt stressing him out.

You & your son need to go stay somewhere else for a couple of days, and you need to go NOW.

Join friend sided with stbxh and is helping him out. At the moment it's three of them: stbxh, MIL and this 'ex friend'

Who is this ex-friend? Does s/he havie anything to do with the property you're currently staying in?

Wtf is going on with the solicitor? Why haven't they made application for an emergency order/interdict?

The solicitor made an emergency application, the legal board have requested further details of the situation which was submitted and he is waiting for them to make a decision now.

The ex-friend lives a few streets away and she used to work with stbxh. They used to hate each other due to both of them having difficult characters. Now she has sided with him and MIL.

This isn’t good for your poor DS. A decision needs to be made and he needs to not be caught in the middle of this nightmare. Do not let any of them into your house and keep your DS safe and away from school until you sort this out

I would unblock the friend but not reply at all. The more you ignore her she might give you a few gems to use in your favour. (That sounds underhand but it’s her choice to be sticking her nose in and texting you)

How's it going, Lena?

I'm away with DS for a few days.

Stbxh came back with his mother and 'ex-friend' to get DS last night, banging the door and shouting again. Police were called and he has been warned that if he comes back again he will be arrested.

I will be speaking to the solicitor to get some sort of non harassment order in place

Blimey OP. So pleased the police sorted the situation.
Also glad you have got away for a few days.
Try to enjoy it.

He’s bloody ridiculous. Well done for going away with your son. I think though that you need to be kicking your solicitors butt into gear as they seem to be dragging things along awfully slowly!

Well done, by going away you’ve given your DS and yourself some space. Personally, I wouldn’t return until your have the order.

I would pass on any threatening messages etc, to give as evidence to his intimidation and aggressive behaviour.

Well done, enjoy the few days peace

I hope you've been able to enjoy some quality time with your ds over the weekend and that you'll stay out of reach until you have the order(s).

While having a quick browse through the laws of Scotland, I came across 'caveats'.

If, for example, a company was fearful that an individual or organisation would apply for an emergency interdict without their knowledge, i.e ex parte, they could lodge a caveat with the courts which would prevent the order being made until they had opportunity to defend themselves.

It would seem that caveats are not uncommon in commercial law but I am unclear as to whether they are used in family law,

It may be worth checking with your solicitor as it would seem to be inevitable that your stbxh will apply for a residence interdict sooner rather than later.

I strongly urge you to continue to stay away until your solicitor has obtained the relevant order(s) as it would be beyond frustrating, not to say heartbreaking, if your stbxh served a residence interdict on you giving him custody, albeit temporary, of your ds.