Third (and final) thread - C nonsense

[JaysusWept]

Unbelievable that this is the 3rd thread and still nothing has been resolved.
I wasn’t going to start this one but if anything good comes out of this shite it will be a Glasgow/Scotland MN meet up!

I know folk laugh at all the ‘DAILY MAIL MAY NOT USE THIS’ stuff, but here’s me giving the scummy DM permission to use this 👋

Also, I agree with the others in that you do look guilty because you haven't carried on confronting her.

I'd defiantly get a cease and desist. C is fucking mental and the others are too for believing in her bullshit.

She's probably used to getting her own way and everyone believing everything she says.
All this is her doing for sending the text in the first place. I hope she reads all these comments as well. She needs help.

Just read all three threads- I'm shocked! So sorry you are going through this, C sounds completely unhinged! A previous poster suggested using the local gossip monger to your advantage, and I think that could work, but instead of mentioning the disloyal swines' names, just gloss over about how you are all so worried about her! And that poor child being kept off school when it's the mums mental health at question! That should be enough to stem the gossips- hold your head high and smile, do not give C the satisfaction of knowing she caused drama.

C's DH is on FB obvs... has he been tagged in anywhere since C 'kicked him out'?

I wouldn't start with the sympathy or allusions to her mental health.

Just tell her and the rest of them that her marital issues have nothing to do with you in the slightest - and she knows it - and she needs to stop immediately with her false accusations. Tell her it stops now. Don't make threats either.

Worst comes to worst, take your ex up on his offer and show up at their door to air it in full view of the all concerned parties. Madness.

I know what I would do at this stage, given being silently dignified is failing ( she is continuing to blacken your name) it’s too late to kill her with kindness that horse has bolted, and neither your joint friends or her weak sap of a husband have the backbone to stand up to her. The legal route will feed the drama, and may not work.

There is only one nuclear option left to you; and we all need to be ready for this ( and be vigilant on the thread):

You post an announcement about the situation on the class or year Facebook page/What’s app page or you individually email every single parent that is likely to hear her malicious lies.

You state the lies that C has spread about you. You explain that the messages have nothing to do with you. You confirm the conversation you had with her husband in front of named witnesses M and others.
You state that at no point will you ever find this behaviour acceptable and that it now your wish to clear your name, and ask people to respect your wishes by stopping the slander in its tracks.
It is possible it will become a legal issue in the near future, and you would thank them to protect themselves by remaining uninvolved.

Attach all three threads into the message. So they can read for themselves exactly what has happened to you.

Any reasonable person/ parent will be absolutely horrified at your treatment. Horrified.

You will shut down the lies.
You will expose C to scrutiny.
You may win some support (one would hope)

You fight fire with fire now.

By Monday she will have sent out all sorts of flying monkeys to say you are trying to wreck her marriage and her life. She will escalate this next week. Crying at the gate, gathering sympathy and support from absolutely everyone. She will play the broken victim, and you will be presented as a man eating monster. She will isolate you with her lies. I fear she has only just started with this campaign to really hurt and discredit you, and she won’t stop until you, your creditability and dd are in the gutter, broken.

You have to stop her, and you do this with the truth for all to read.

You have nothing left to lose now.
Expose her in full, let others see her as we all do. She will wish to god she had never done this, when she realises 1000s of posts have your back. What else can you do?

Bloody hell OP!!!!! I was supposed to start my ironing an hour ago but I couldn't stop reading your thread! What an utter bunch of bitches they all are?!!!!!!! I have sat here absolutely gobsmacked!
I can't decide if I'd just remove myself from them all and let them all bloody get on with it, or whether I'd go round there with all guns blazing! I bet you're bloody fuming!!!
You sound as if you've been very dignified though - much more than I would have been!

I'm so torn on this.

Absolutely get people saying to rise above and not perpetuate drama.

But I also think silence could look like an admission of guilt.

I wouldn't be making a fuss out of revenge / spite but I wouldn't be able to stop myself making it clear that it's all completely false and defend myself.

But I still can't decide if that would be the best course of action or not.

You poor thing OP have followed this since the beginning and she really is a master manipulator. And a cunt.

Have got splinters in my bum because I am completely on the fence about what approach I would take.
Think I would stay dignified silence for now, unless something happens to DD at school.

The fact that C has kept her child off for two days to prove her story is the worst thing about this... Sick in the head.

I like khalees approach.

If any confronting is to be done though, the dh needs to be present.

I would definitely refute the rumours to anyone who is likely to spread your side of things....especially if they bring it up.

I’d simply say that C sent a horrible message about you to you by accident, and was called out on it. And since then she has made a lot of nasty lies up about you to try and divert attention away from her own behaviour.

Keep it simple, don’t go into details.

Agree with thegrass in regards telling her and the rest to put a stop to the bullshit now while rebutting all her lies.

I wouldn't like to threads though... for me that would be feeding the gossips.

Casually let slip to one of the flying monkeys that you have a MN thread about this. Let them find it themselves.

Sorry, that's probably a bad idea in practice, as it would just inflame even more gossip. Tempting, though.

No, you must expose the truth, and the best way to do this is get in there first with all the details.
She will have all her backers confirming her side, a weak response now will mean you are a sitting duck, you must stand up to her op. Not in person ( no pint she will just deny she has lied) by via the whole school year.

I've read through the whole 3 threads and can't believe she is escalating. It's absolute madness. The so called friends should have called her out. I suspect they love the drama that has come with this and may very well know she's lying, but don't want to miss out on the gossip. The cease and desist letter can be downloaded free of charge from LawDepot. Rumours unfortunately spread very quickly whether true or not. I don't believe she kicked the husband out at all. It was probably him who left for a few days after finding out what she had said. I don't think he's had an affair with anyone either. It's her being 'poor me' and wanting to be the centre of attention.

Your silence has been spun as an admission of guilt.

The OP has not been silent.

I think Cs H holds the key to all this. If it were me I'd get your ex (as he does seem concerned) to call CDH on Facebook voice if he hasn't got his number, on loudspeaker and you record it on your phone. You don't speak.... Let it be a man to man conversation.

I would only allude to things until he gives you something to work on and then put all the facts to him. Something along lines of, sorry to bother you but I'm rather annoyed at hearing from a busybody at School that Jaysus has apparently been messaging you inappropriately ...... Let it unfold from there....... Then say, look C has said that she's kicked you out but Jaysus is sitting taking the blame for something she hasn't done..... We don't want to be involved in your dramas so I suggest you just tell Caroline who the real person is and to end these ridiculous rumours.....

I think you may well be surprised at what comes out of that conversation..... Then add C and L back into the group, attach the voice recording and tell them to fuck off with their pathetic games. You have done nothing wrong..... And flounce!

Sorry that so many others have had experiences of C’s. I honestly wouldn’t have believed grown women could behave like this if I weren’t experiencing it directly.
Advice seems split between saying something to her and keeping silent 😅
My concern is that I don’t want to appear guilty by staying silent, but as has been said already - she’s batshit and she’ll just lie and lie so no contact with any of them may be best - and delight when she turns on one of the others.

I’m not going to talk to the school or anything, unless it impacts on my DD. C’s DD and K’s DD are sweet kids, so if C doesn’t want my DD in her house then I don’t give a fuck about that, as long as she isn’t treated differently in school by her friends. If she is then I’ll definitely tackle it then.

Oh, and I agree that my ex getting involved wouldn’t be the wisest move - although it would piss the OW off that he’s sticking up for me, but she’d also delight in the drama and probably try to add some shit of her own in!

Actually the best way to shut all this down is to slip the gossip lady a piece of paper with a link to all three threads.

Obviously only do this if you haven't posted other threads that you are worried about sharing.

Really feel for you OP, this whole situation is crazy. Surely L must know it's all lies since she appeared to be in on the original message C accidentally sent to you? She seems to be very quiet.

I am afraid if you don’t do this nor, your reputation and any hope of new friends for you and dd will be lost. You will become an outcast overnight. C will stop at nothing to see you chased of school and town. I can see clearly precisely where she is headed with this.

She reinforced her back up on Friday with the others, she has now only to ensure the lies are spread (she already started that with the school gossip who approached your ex) and next week she will go for the kill. She will ensure no one trusts you again, she will ensure everyone will look at you differently and may start to shun you believing that you tried to break up a close friends family. She will tell everyone her dd is suffering terribly and can’t even come to school, how could Jaysus do this to her after all you have done for her. There will be tears on the school run, and whispered conversations about what kind of person you are, and no doubt the others will back her all the way.

There is no stopping her now, but you can intervene and stop in her tracks. I suggest you take this option ( even if you don’t add the threads) you can maybe do that later if you have to.

Go direct don’t send in others, tell the truth directly and in full. There should be no room for misunderstanding .

Completely agree with grass.... She has proved she will stop at nothing to destroy you OP.

Fucking HELL!

She's really doubled down, considering this was over a miss-sent text!

Can you contact M, and ask her what the fuck she's playing at - she heard the conversation... does she now think you both orchestrated that for her benefit?!

I'm willing to bet the husband knows very little about this... Get your Ex to talk to him - he owes you that much - and tell him to hold back nothing about C making up lies and isolating you from your whole friendship group, the husband needs to tell C to pack this in and fast.

Then I dunno... I think @thegrasscouldbegreener plan will just feed the gossips for the whole year group... so I'd maybe keep that in your back pocket for now.

I can't decide if I'd disengage totally or go nuclear and WhatsApp them all C included, and say - this has gone far enough. C clearly has marital issues and is projecting them on you, as her miss-sent text clearly shows she harbours a dislike for you. Give clear instructions on how to retrieve deleted messages and demand she get them. If she can't provide any evidence, and she continues to spread lies about you, you will consider it harassment and defamation and will be seeking legal advice. etc etc. Really set your stall out clearly to them as a group. They'll side with her, you know that, but by being so forthright you might sow the seeds of doubt in her story.

Jaysus by the time it impacts your DD it's too late to act tbh. Those kids may be sweet at the moment but they're raised by these adults. Don't expect any standards from them.
You must protect your DD best you can and I think it's by getting on the offensive with the adults here. Adults do not understand 'dignified silence' generally.
Your DD could swiftly be bullied with all sorts of versions of the rumours. I'd take my chances with C before letting that happen to DD any day.