Third (and final) thread - C nonsense

[JaysusWept]

Unbelievable that this is the 3rd thread and still nothing has been resolved.
I wasn’t going to start this one but if anything good comes out of this shite it will be a Glasgow/Scotland MN meet up!

I know folk laugh at all the ‘DAILY MAIL MAY NOT USE THIS’ stuff, but here’s me giving the scummy DM permission to use this 👋

Horrible people really! Gobsmacked by how this escalated.

Is your ex doing pick up today OP, did you knock him back on his offer to speak to C DH? What will he do if someone says something to him?

Have been lurking on these threads for a while now and am so livid on your behalf @JaysusWept Some people are speculating why all this first started and escalated so quickly. I think the answer lies in the pp's who suggested C sounds classic NPD.
Her resentment and bitching about you will have stemmed from the breakdown of your marriage and the support and sympathy the group focused on you during that time. As a Narc EVERYTHING should ALWAYS be about her. So when the friendship group had been so attentive to you she subtly began a campaign against you. This blew up when she sent the text to the wrong number and to save face she had to go nuclear. Full on 'look how badly I've been treated- everyone feel sorry for meeeee!' mode. Hence the fake messages, the lying husband the fake separation. It's all a mirror imagine of your situation that got you, in her eyes, special attention.
When control freaks can no longer control you they control the message about you...
Going forward I don't have any helpful advice. You cannot reason with crazy. What I think I would do is find a few tactical mums at school and make it known that this started when she mistakenly sent that text to you and it all spiralled out of control from there. You don't know why. Maybe she was so embarrassed she resorted to using attack as the best form of defence.
I've been there and my situation didn't end well I moved schools. Also sometimes Karma isn't always your friend either I watched as my C (someone in position of authority at a school) a few years later was arrested and plead guilty to assaulting a child (she pushed and kicked them) thinking this was her comeuppance but no! She essentially got away with that too

Concentrate on building yourself up now OP. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Do you have supportive family around? Are work friends nice? Can you plan something REALLY cool for you and dd to do soon? You are kick arse and sound lovely but you might need to build in some support for yourself in the coming weeks. (also I for one would be happy to sign the vicious bitches up for every free magazine under the sun as revenge that can't be traced back if you like; I can't be the only one).

@sayhellotothelittlefella, I agree with your reasoning but what on Earth is the other 4's excuse? Just a bunch of shallow, spineless wonders?

This is horrific. The absolute bitches :(

oh, OP, I'm so sorry. I've been following this whole story and it's just horrendous. These women are shits and you do not need them - just steer clear and keep your moral high ground. One day they may realise how hideously they've behaved, but you will only waste energy trying to make them see it now. Big hugs and strength to you, you will be fine but this right now is poisonous and unfair. I'm so sorry you are going through it.

This is horrifying. But if C is a narc then you should really consider she isn’t done with this! Narcs really respect strength, not dignity. They want you balling and screaming and crazy. Or your kids or anyone close to you. Because they are actually nuts. It’s all displacement, you see.

You keep the dignity, but do plan for the idea that she will escalate when you don’t react. You need to think about that otherwise she will make your life unbearable. Dealing with the narc means discreetly laying some ground work so that you can defend yourself. People like this rarely leave you alone unless you can outfox them - then they pick on someone much less work.

@AryaStarkWolf often these C's position or present themselves as someone with power (think pta mum, school governor etc just a general 'Queen Bee' as mentioned before). The other 4 have picked the side they feel protects themselves most in their social group.
All it needs for bad things to happen is for good people to say nothing! Try to find those that will stand up and say something. Unfortunately when I did that no one else was prepared to - publicly at least...

Being from Glasgow myself I managed to find C on fb in about 2 minutes (I’m certain it’s her based off of the life quote you mentioned before) so it looks like this thread is getting a bit outing.

If you don’t mind them finding out about it of course that’s no issue at all but I thought I should let you know.

Oh and it’s 100% her social standing as the reason the others are standing by her and not you. You can be true in character while they can act all glam and spoilt. Let’s just say if C’s behaviour is like this she will be off putting as fuck in a relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if her husbands mentioned you in passing and this whole things been made up of her jealousy.

So awful. I'm so shocked that K was that mean to remove your from the WA group, I'd feel the same, that was deliberate to make a point.
Hoping pick up tomorrow isn't to stressful and go prepared.

Exactly what I was thinking wonderland

Wankers. The lot of them.

They're a bunch of cunts. I'm so sorry op

I can't help thinking the removal from the group was a way of needling you into a reaction. They're not dumb they know you can still see their shit on Facebook.

Maybe they need a reaction to justify you're the one off their head not them. If you remain calm it's not following their story.

I know it probably doesn't mean much but I am solidly with you op. I wish I could give you a bloody big hug.

C has successfully poisoned K and the others, no doubt with more lies, probably said you've had a go at their husbands too. But she has also exposed this whole bunch to you as being lacking in integrity and intelligence and loyalty, so you are definitely better off without them.

They will have found this thread. They'll be reading avidly, loving the drama, getting outraged as having been exposed as a bunch of pathetic, disloyal and shallow bitches. Nasty.

At least you have clarity now about this ugly little clique. And by the sounds of things none of them have very interesting or stimulating lives, that they are prepared to give so much energy to this rather sad display of bullying and unpleasantness.

No further action required on your part I don't think.

Maybe they need a reaction to justify you're the one off their head not them. If you remain calm it's not following their story.

Hopefully they're reading this (and the other threads) so they know that a hell of a lot more people think they're off their heads and a bunch of nasty cunts to boot

They probably have found the thread I’m secretly hoping someone not in their posse has too

I want to jump on a plane, fly across to the other side of the planet to Scotland (I love Scotland, btw - wouldn’t take too much convincing.) and slap some sense into the lot of these twits. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could all meet you at the school gates wearing “Caroline is a lying Cunt” t-shirt?

OP you keep saying you’re done with them etc but checking the WhatsApp and fb profiles shows that you aren’t done

Honestly the best thing you should do is to remove them of fb. Don’t even look in their direction at school and if any of them approaches you just give a little giggle and ask “why are you talking to me?”

Take back some control. The more you do nothing the more they’ll do!

Being from Glasgow myself I managed to find C on fb in about 2 minutes (I’m certain it’s her based off of the life quote you mentioned before)

You did what now?

@sayhellotothelittlefella I think your analysis is spot on - C is a narc and couldn't bear the OP gaining sympathy & attention from the others both when her marriage broke down, then when the bitchy text was sent.

I was listening to Sally Challen this morning on Women's Hour talking about coercive control. She was saying that she always had to go along with her husband's outside version of events, and he would socially isolate her / check up that she hadn't been cheating etc. It made me think of C's husband. We always think of women being the victims of coercive control, but actually I think the husband here is potentially being controlled. He can't have innocent conversations with other school parents, C's rage when he didn't go along with her narrative about the FB messages, to the point that he was either actually kicked out of the family home, or at the very least was publicly humiliated by C telling everyone she had kicked him out.

They must have been together from quite an early age, if C has an 8 yo child, and is 31. So potentially together since age 19 / 20, if not younger? There will always be exceptions, but I think there can be a funny dynamic between couples who have been together from a very young age. I think sometimes one or both parties become somewhat emotionally stunted and 'stuck' at the age they were when they first met. I feel a bit sorry for him. I wonder what his 'instructions' are now?

Anyway, op, I hope this week's pick ups are fairly drama free. I'd go with the bemused & sympathetic approach if anyone asks you about it. Keep going with developing DD's network of new friends.

Being from Glasgow myself I managed to find C on fb in about 2 minutes (I’m certain it’s her based off of the life quote you mentioned before) so it looks like this thread is getting a bit outing.

Hmm

Last night after reading this thread, I was thinking that perhaps it wasn’t just C and L bitching about you but K was involved too and perhaps the entire group. Sadly, I reckon that while you were genuine and unsuspecting, they were all at it. K’s initial pretence of support was most likely about trying to snoop. Reading your update confirms it for me. Genuine people like you are probably far better off with good, loyal individual friends. Many cliques are flawed and centre around a Queen Bee and her foot soldiers. You were the obvious target due to what they perceive diminished social status as single parent, working fulltime and not being duplicitous. You did not play the game or fell back into line when you challenged that bitchy text. At this point, I don’t think you could have really dealt with this in any different way. Ignore, ignore and ignore with your head held high. Be aloof and indifferent. There are plenty of funny and wonderful Mumsnetters in your area, do make new contacts and perhaps a few months down the line, it might turn out to be a blessing with a nicer social circle.

Bitch face K might have taken you off WhatsApp but you've tonnes of us all ready to join your group ...

@BringTheBounceBack @loobyloo1234

No sinister reason, just really thought the op should be considering getting the threads taken down just incase.