Husband seeing prostitute.

[Ifeellikeivebeenkickedinthegut]

I found out yesterday that my husband is not who I thought.
I took his ipad for our child to use and as I unlocked it I saw a we page for cam girls.
I went back into his office to rib him about looking at girls/porn (I didn't realise it was a cam girl page initially, I thought it was one of those classified pages that pops up during porn) and his face dropped when I showed him in. Immediately I knew my first thoughts were wrong and something was going on.
He jumped up and tried to snatch it back off me. I kept telling him to tell me the truth, but he kept saying he was. Eventually he admitted he had spent £50 in credits on a cam girl page.
He eventually gave me the passwords and I managed to find that actually he had spent at the very least £400 and spent a few girls money direct.
I was gutted and furious. We had a friends child over as well as my child so I had to stay calm.
He went out to get dinner. My child fell asleep and I got his ipad back out to torture myself some more. The site was really hard to navigate but I managed to find some reviews he'd left. It was very clear from the reviews that he had met up with women. 4 of them. He had also bid on a 5th.
I feel sick. I confronted him. All he keeps saying is he is sorry.

I don't know what to do. I feel sick. It's his birthday today. Obviously I cancelled all plans. He is just acting really nice and helpful at the moment. Says he loves me and will do anything to make it work. I feel like he feels remorseful because he has got caught.
I never ever in a million years have thought he would do anything like this to me, us. Our family.

Boot him out would seem the logical.

I think you need to LTB, sorry

So sorry you’re going through this, so firstly a big virtual hug. Secondly make sure you screen shot all evidence on his iPad or take photos of it with your own phone. Thirdly, consider the future. Will you ever be able to trust him again? You now know what he is cable of. Fourthly, get yourself tested for STI’s 😢
You deserve better. A life with a perv or a life with respect and dignity?

*capable not cable 🤦🏼‍♀️

Bidding on humans. Bidding on fucking humans.

He’s scum. Total scum. Kick him out.

Please please don't sugar coat it to yourself and I know how it feels

Kicked in the gut like but you have to get out now it won't stop

Kick him the fuck out.

It’s a non question, tell him to leave. He shags prostitutes. You deserve a better life

He says he was lonely. I can understand why. We have no sex life, hardly talk in the evening etc.
He sometimes has to go for customer visits and this is where it happened.

I am gutted for my son. I don't want to take his dad away. I don't want to be a single parent. I don't want my life to change. I feel dazed.
How can we ever go back to how it was? How can I ever trust him again. God he is such a fucking asshole

Apparently he didn't shag them. They gave him a Bj. With a condom on. Apparently

Before I found out this I would have described him as a good husband. He adores our son, and is a fantastic dad. He is present in family life. We don't argue very often. Although there is not much affection between us. I just can't believe he has done this

Do you have hundreds of pounds going spare as a family for him to spend like this?

Punters don't stop.

Do you really believe him about the condoms?

Do you see yourself living happily with someone who uses prostitutes?

Yes we do have that kind of money going spare. I wouldn't have ever noticed because of the money side.
I don't know if to believe him about them.

No I don't think I do

You will never trust him again. I'm sorry OP but if it was me I don't think I could go on. I certainly wouldn't want him near me knowing where "he'd" been.

Kids are resilient. You deserve better x

Oh op you poor thing. Your whole world has been turned upside down.

Firstly... I would say he is minimising what happened. He's trying to make it sound like it's not that bad... "it was ONLY blow jobs with a condom"
It is bad. He has used women for his own gratification.
Secondly... you need to show your son that this is not an acceptable way for a man to treat his wife. You need to show him there are consequences for being a dirty perv. You can never go back to normal now. He needs to leave. You are better off alone than being with someone who sticks his dick into prostitutes mouths.

J

Oh sorry OP this is something I could not forgive. I find the whole thing disgusting. I can’t even deal with porn. It makes me sick. I am so sorry your going through this, I am so sorry he has done this to you and the family you both built. I am so sorry I hope you can find happiness and peace somehow x

I'm honestly taken aback about bidding??

I agree he is minimising.

Ask him to leave and say until I've had a sti test and the results are back.

You'll be able to tell by his reaction if he did more than 'just a bit of oral'

Remember, HE did this.
HE didn't think about you.
HE didn't think about his son.

HE risked your health and you sons.

Good luck.

This is why I am not relaxed about porn use, I think some women who don’t use it are actually unaware of the nature of a lot of the big sites these days, there is a huge focus on cam and live stuff and pop ups for hooker sites , that’s how they make cash, that’s why the clips are free , and men who wouldn’t have been seen dead cruising the streets find this is now an easy way to find sex workers with less risk . I’m so sorry OP, but think he has to go, you won’t ever trust again

I find some of these situations odd, like giving you the password so you could find the whole truth out.

Bidding? Was lonely? We all are at times in our lives we dont treat humans like Ebay

Get ducks in a row and divorce

And what about the ones that he hasn't left reviews for?

This could be going back years.

Lonely people usually find a hobby like a bloody cycling/walking group, join a pubs pool team or ask the blokes out at work if they fancy a curry night.

Not pay for sex for 60 minutes.

Jeez. What a man.

I recently discovered similar things OP.

It's fucking hard to have to make that decision and end the relationship. It took me a couple of weeks to actually have the balls to throw him out. What's the hardest thing is that HE has done all this but it feels like YOU are the one breaking up the family.

It's just not fair is it? He's done all of this to you and your son and now your suffering will continue. It's you who will have to make the big adjustments and then give up time with your son. That's what hurt me the most to be honest, the unfairness of it all. Sorry you're in the same position OP.

Absolutely feel for you - 2years ago I found out my partner of 12yrs had been seeing prostitutes for several years - I was devastated, humiliated and heartbroken - I asked him to leave, which he did ... it was horrendous, I couldn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want the children or their friends or my family to know because ultimately we have children and have to maintain a long term relationship for their sake. He was mortified and went to counselling and that encouraged me to go with him to relationship counselling - after nearly a year he moved back in. All appeared ok on the face of it but it was extremely hard at times to ever really go back to how we were. Recently I found out he was back doing it again .... and so now I’m faced with telling our children he is leaving for good now. I can not believe someone can be so utterly selfish but you know what they are!!! I know this is not the happy ending I would love to give you but it’s meant I can offer a little advice
Firstly - be very careful who you confide in - if you have children think about the long term future relationship you develop from here onwards ... if your folks know it’s could make a child’s wedding day somewhat tricky & so with that in mind ... Get yourself to a counsellor ASAP! Seriously - you need to offload in a safe place, the pain of this type of betrayal is the pits and you need to talk it out without fear of judgement.
Then ring your GP - you need to get yourself STI checked out - my GP was so sympathetic, it’s not you - they are not judging you. I’m so sorry but you need to do this xx
Next - don’t rush into anything drastic financially.... get yourself armed with facts, go on go emend websites for help and benefits, find out what you can and can’t manage financially. You will feel more in control if you can get your house in order.
And most importantly - remind yourself every single day - YOU ARE WORTH MORE!! This is not your fault and nothing you did - this is his problem and if he sees women as a commodity then he has a serious issue with respect for women in general and that’s a problem with him not you.
Sending you all the best. You will go through some dark times but you don’t need to do what I did and go back for a second kick in the guts. Stay strong xxx