Husband seeing prostitute.

[Ifeellikeivebeenkickedinthegut]

I found out yesterday that my husband is not who I thought.
I took his ipad for our child to use and as I unlocked it I saw a we page for cam girls.
I went back into his office to rib him about looking at girls/porn (I didn't realise it was a cam girl page initially, I thought it was one of those classified pages that pops up during porn) and his face dropped when I showed him in. Immediately I knew my first thoughts were wrong and something was going on.
He jumped up and tried to snatch it back off me. I kept telling him to tell me the truth, but he kept saying he was. Eventually he admitted he had spent £50 in credits on a cam girl page.
He eventually gave me the passwords and I managed to find that actually he had spent at the very least £400 and spent a few girls money direct.
I was gutted and furious. We had a friends child over as well as my child so I had to stay calm.
He went out to get dinner. My child fell asleep and I got his ipad back out to torture myself some more. The site was really hard to navigate but I managed to find some reviews he'd left. It was very clear from the reviews that he had met up with women. 4 of them. He had also bid on a 5th.
I feel sick. I confronted him. All he keeps saying is he is sorry.

I don't know what to do. I feel sick. It's his birthday today. Obviously I cancelled all plans. He is just acting really nice and helpful at the moment. Says he loves me and will do anything to make it work. I feel like he feels remorseful because he has got caught.
I never ever in a million years have thought he would do anything like this to me, us. Our family.

Make screen caps and archive.is duplicates before he deletes everything. Then take the house.

And for anyone who has a go about snooping when their gut tells them something is off, this is why you snoop. If anyone snooped mine, there is nothing I would have an issue about— even if it’s some odd searches about health related stuff or ex bosses etc

OP, I’m so very sad for you (and I don’t know you) but at least now you can make hard choices based on what someone is, not who you think they are.

Op I'm so sorry, what's disgusting too is it was on a family ipad so your young son could of got hold of it too.

I dunno I'd like to think for you it only went as far as "foreplay" but if he's bidding on multiple girls.. And it's not his first time makes you think it's more than that. Fucking disgusting he's using family money to cheat on you, appalling.

I think you need to tell him to leave for the weekend, tell him to goto his mother's so you can get your head clear and atleast know where he is. It's his problem if he has to tell her why he's there.

Well 24/7 care of his son half the week will soon curb his urges.
Disgusting. He's not a great dad.

That’s dire. I would ask him to leave.

I was in the same situation with my whoring SOB ex-husband. Saw the facebook messages between him and his mate about meeting prostitutes. Admittedly, the messages were quite ambiguous, so I gave him a benefit of a doubt (such FOOL!!!). We made up and made things work again (well, sort of).

Until one day, one year after that, I've got a text on my mobile from his other woman. They were an item for 6 months. And she was letting me know all this, because this pathetic SOB was after her daughter and this obviously made her mad, so she contacted me. To clarify, me and my ex were the same age, his lover was almost 20 years older than him, her daughter is an adult, not a child.

Started divorce proceedings the same day she messaged me. Never looked back. He tried to put the blame on me (the cheek), so I told EVERYBODY: his family, my family, his work colleagues and friends what he was doing.

He has another partner now, she's pregnant. And just recently I saw him in town kissing yet another girl, who is not his pregnant partner.

Dump his sorry ass, op. Don't be a mug like I was.

He's a rapist in my eyes. You can't buy consent. Run OP

I'm so sorry. As heartbreaking as it is for you and your son I see no other choice for you but to leave him. I couldn't get past this. Hope you're OK.

Also please don't think this is your fault in any way just because you don't have the most physical of relationships. There are other ways of addressing this if he needed to. Visiting prostitutes is not one of them.

Sorry but you need to leave him ASAP. He needs to move out if the family home.

No second chances, no excuses... end of

If that was my husband, his feet wouldn't touch the ground on his way out!!

My mind is boggled.

I didn’t even know this was a thing.

I couldn’t forgive this.
Bidding on human beings is diabolical.

£400 for a BJ with a condom is a lie.

Kick him out.

Even if you overlooked the reprehensible behaviour of buying sex and treating women as commodities, you didn't have a great relationship anyway. Little affection, no sex.

Draw a line under this relationship. He has money a plenty based on his spending on prostitutes so get as much money for you and the children as you can, and forge a new life. He is not worth keeping or losing sleep over surely.

He IS a good dad. I don't want my son to have a part time dad. He adores him.

It is so completely out of character. He is far older then me, reaching a big milestone this year. He has always made me feel safe and loved. Huge wobble after our ds was born, but I thought we was getting better. Although still a lack of sex.

I have booked into see a councilor on Monday for us both. Gah. I don't know.

Unless you're planning to stop him seeing his son, you're not taking his dad away. Go to the counsellor, but it may be a good idea to co-parent from a distance, as I'm sure there's more to this prostitute business.

He's admitted the absolute bare minimum to make himself seem honest and to get you off his back.

He is not a good dad. He is using family money to buy sex. It doesn't matter if you don't miss it, it's mounting up, a big lump sum that could be giving your son a chance to go to uni debt free or a huge deposit on a first flat. These women he is using are all someone's daughter. Would you think your H was a great dad if you had a DD instead of a DS? It shouldn't matter, girls and boys are groomed, trafficked, enticed away from good parents to provide the supply to meet the demand from dirty fuckers like your H. Imagine someone treating your DS like a commodity, bidding on him ffs, what would you do to that person? That's what you should be doing to your H.

So he doesn't want to have sex with you, but he likes doing sex workers?

I am so sorry OP. What a devastating thing to find out. I really think some time apart to think is needed here. Only you can decide if this is something you can forgive, but I wouldn't for a second let him convince you that this isn't a major betrayal.

Personally this would be a total deal breaker for me. I couldn't get past it if my husband did this to me, as personally I find it worse than cheating. Your husband thinks it's okay to pay a woman for sexual services, I couldn't be with a man who thinks it's okay to buy and use a woman's body like that. I hope the counsellor helps, but I would seriously be having a massive think about what you are willing to live with. I hope you find the strength to leave him.

Any man that holds women in such low regard is a huge no from me sod that right off.

It's up to you you're probably in shock but he could have given you anything get a sexual health test in the interim

Is this the example you want for your son

So £300 of time with two women at the same time helps to make him feel less 'lonely'? Ffs

All the time and energy he has spent shopping for sex, meeting strangers for sex, lying to you about what he has been doing, where he was, all of that effort should have been focused on you and his family. Even if you aren't bothered about the money, the time and energy he has stolen from you should be enough. No wonder he doesn't have the energy to chat to you in the evenings.

I would advise you to have counseling on your own initially, at least for a few sessions. The least you deserve from him is done space and time and privacy to work out your own feelings. If you chose couples therapy later down the line, great, but it isn't a good idea at the moment.

He did not go to those women for a blow job with a condom on.

He’s paid for significantly more than that.

Not rtft but felt compelled to pos

'. He had also bid on a 5th.'

What the fuck? I mean, I had no idea. This is a thing? OK I know it won't go down well with some but wtf is wrong with men

Namalt obv but enough to make this a thing. Fucking hell.

Also blow blow job with condom =come off it.

Also really doubt that if you're going to actually meet someone then you're going to go for more than that fgs