Dating thread 170: Know your worth

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

I'd say tell him anyway. Nothing to be ashamed of. Truly most men don't care, ime.

I'm not into kinks must, though I've tried a few things. I'm glad I tried, because now I know for sure.

*myself, not must

I'd avoid day 1 but otherwise never had an issue here. Have you had your coil fitted? @SBD1 I don't get periods with mine.

@KermitRulesOK you seem curious about the kink but it doesn't sound like he told you but you found out another way? If that's the case think you need to try and bring the kink into conversation.

I went on a quick coffee date with nice man but I did not fancy him. When it was time to go home he immediately asked for a second date. I said "oh yes lovely" but I don't fancy him.

The texts have gone back and forth and I am putting off a phone call with him but he keeps asking to arrange something.

Is it acceptable to text or do I need to pick up the phone, adult and be respectful and say I don't actually want to meet him again?

I know I have only met him once but a text seems so harsh and cold. But easier (for me).

@KermitRulesOK glad you've got irons and are moving on. it sounds like you're interested but if you decide you don't like the kink while doing it you need to trust him to stop. Also communications would be good as I think variety is good and if I were trying a new kink I'd want to know that he doesn't insist on it every time and can be a bit more vanilla too.

I text 90% of the time even after several dates, so I dont see the problem in ending it over text.

@Notcoolmum No thats early october. I'm still using cerelle mini pill

hoped theyd stop but its early waaaaah

hoped it was spotting but nah full blown

Hi, may I join please? I went on a first date with a lovely bloke last week. He has been divorced a year after his wife left him for someone at her running club.

He is kind, generous, lovely, intelligent, seems to be honest, very good looking, has his own business, and basically ticks every box I have. An amazing kisser too!

I am seeing him again on Tuesday and he is away with his hobby this weekend. I feel like a giddy teenager again because I REALLY like him. We talked for 5 hours non stop on our first date.

How do I play it a bit cool? There has been some flirting over whatsapp/text and he rings me most nights and texts me every morning. I am scared to death because I like him a lot but don't want to make an arse of myself.

Help!!!

Thanks everyone - he told me about them himself but he doesn't seem the type to be into kinks...I have spoken to him this morning and I said I would be willing to engage as long as it wouldn't be kinks all the time! I enjoy very vanilla and he said he did too...so it would be a both ends of the scale type thing. Both my ex husbands were very vanilla types and I've always wondered about spicing things up - don't want to be hog tied or anything but what he's suggesting sounds interesting and fun!

Hope you're ok Pinkdoor, I think We have all felt like that at some point with OLD.
Hairyarsedman I'm glad you said the line about the back of the neck, it's so true, someone can appear fairly average to others but I'm swooning over their forearms or twinkly eyes oblivious to any of their own perceived imperfections.
I lurk mostly, i enjoy reading about your journeys so thanks for sharing, I am dating here and there but take it all with a bucket of salt, it's just a nice evening out until it becomes more and someone would need to be pretty great to swap the plus points of singledom for
Anyway I think we all deserve a pat on the back for being brave enough to get out there time and time again when we know how tricky it can be. I'm a big believer in taking a few months out when it stops being fun, I hope the right one will come along for all of us. Wooma and Jesuis are nice positive stories but they also had bumps along the road.
Have a good weekend everyone and those who are not on dates (me!) Do something fun, walking my dog in the rain might not sound like fun but it will make me smile watching him splash about!

kermit don’t knock hog ties till you have tried it 😁

Hi everyone just checking in. Still off old.

Some of you may remember I was worried about something a few weeks ago. It was unfounded. Phew. Don’t want to post too much as I sometimes feel I am outing myself on here and my stbxh is s stalker nutcase.

In my excitement I may have shagged Mr Big. Whoops 🙈🙈

@SirChing why do you want to play it cool? If you like each other just enjoy the moment.

Glad you got the all clear @Marlboroandmalbec34
Not so pleased to hear you shagged Mr Big!! I bought you were NC? Hope you are ok x

Ah yes @Marlboroandmalbec34 I forgot about your 5(?) way thing...hope everything is ok with you! My google history for the last few hours is errrrrr...interesting!

Good luck to everyone on dates this weekend - I'm especially looking forward to Mr Sexybeard this evening as he's quite laid back and is very articulate when he writes...might even be getting the old fanny gallops Just had a message from Mr Hiker saying he's counting down the hours til we meet and trying to decide which coat to wear! - think I'm going to be hurting his feelings fairly soon but will give him a fair chance.

Mr Travels has left for Russia and sent me a video singing his good morning song! Makes me grin like an idiot!

Have another iron - shall call him Mr Artist - we're meeting on Wednesday, he seems flirty and fun.

@KermitRulesOK kinky sex can be really good, it's good to push yourself sometimes. But don't do anything you dont feel comfortable with.

I will say with the right person and if you are honest about not doing it before, they will take their time with you. And Male you feel safe. But remember at any time you can stop.

Oh I forgot to update the thread with my own irons! Meeting someone new for coffee tomorrow, Mr Scrimgeour I'll call him. He seems a laugh over messages so we'll see. Mr Climber for drinks on Monday night because I am too, too sore from a pulled muscle to actually climb. Mr Computer on Tuesday, he actually is helping me with my computer, bless him. I think he will just be a friend, we've been texting for a few weeks now and he's nice, but no flirting. We'll see. Mr HK will likely pop up on WhatsApp on Monday morning to check my schedule. I'm the bottom of his priority pile so I don't think about him much. FB rather than fwb, which is fine.

Mr Goatee is back home for the next two weeks but he messaged me last night. I have few expectations of him, considering he lives so far away, but it was nice to hear he landed safely.

@lifegoes that's why I asked on here - I wasn't sure of the rules as I know with the right person there's rules and it's all safe and consensual. He's into some really kinky stuff which I've never heard off - now FAB profiles make sense!

@KermitRulesOK if you have questions feel free to drop me a PM. I'm happy to discuss anything with you. If that's easier.

Rule 11 - treat others as you'd like to be treated. A short text is fine for one date imo.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 you have a pm
No rush

@KermitRulesOK I'm sorta vanilla and sorta not. I don't have major kinks but there are about three things like I quite like. I've told Mr Cactus about one of them and he seems okay with it. I mean its for his benefit anyway lol.

However I actually really love good ol' fashioned missionary because I get to kiss and be close. I love having arms wrapped around him with lots of kissing and forehead touching and shit like that. I'm a sappy motherflipper

@KermitRulesOK mixing things up can be a lot of fun. Anything you do all the time would get normal. I'm quite a fan of some kink though

Thanks all for the advice about meeting up. I have 3 potentials at the moment although I'm well aware that they may all come to nothing. Been chatting for nearly a week now and finally have a date planned for next Friday with one of them (Mr Smooth). Mr Nice has suggested meeting up already but he's got 3 busy weekends in a row so that one is on hold although he's probably my favourite personality wise. Mr Funny hasn't mentioned meeting yet.
Good luck to all who have dates this weekend.

@Sirching this sounds promising. The only thing I would be slightly wary of is all the texts and phonecalls this early on. You've only been on one date. It could simple be that he is really keen but its also a sign of love-bombing. I've made the mistake twice now in dating where I got sucked into the constant messaging and phone-calls and these are the ones that can fizzle out quickly.
My advice would be to try to calm things down a bit for now. Its so easy to get carried away. If he asks to call, just say you're out and can talk to him the following evening.
I've started to hold myself back massively with guys now. I don't even give my number out very quickly now as that is when it can become easy to message all the time. Good luck with your next date.