Dating thread 170: Know your worth

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@saltysally I don't have a PM?

Hmm just resent

Hi all, I've dipped in and out of this thread for a while. I have a question I'd like opinions on.
I've made so many mistakes in the past and gotten in too deep to quickly.
So, I'm chatting to 2/3 guys at the moment. They seem nice, funny, interesting and messages are very much getting to know likes/dislikes etc. I;ve only been chatting with them for a couple of days. One of them has already suggested meeting but he's got a busy couple of weeks so this is on hold. The other hasn't suggested meeting yet.
How soon should you try to arrange to meet? If they haven't suggested it, should I just mention it?
I just can't be bothered 'chatting' for ages to be honest. I've done this before and then there has been no spark when we've met.

@crappyday I try to meet within a few days just for a quick intro

I personally am nervous so I would have held off meeting for ages, but Mr Cactus persuaded me to meet as soon as I moved house to the city, I met him the day after :) And I'm glad I didn't back out

Oh yes, meet as soon as possible. The long delays usually always end up fizzling out.

@AtSea1979 update us on this Adonis! I think most of us are more critical of our own shapes, sizes, and situations than anyone else is. Have fun!

@AtSea1979 see rule 7

And have fun!

@crappyday2018 I'm with thee others, meet soon. I tend to give them a week or so (2 max) and if they don't suggest anything I lose interest. I might try to spur them on by asking what they're looking for (and maybe jokingly suggest pen-pals?).

I would def advise to meet as soon as you can. Because you end up building a potentially false illusion of the other person. @crappyday2018

Yes def keep us updated @AtSea1979 the amount of times I've met guys who are extremely fit and thought why are they interested in me, is probably all the men I've slept with. But the truth is they are/were attracted to me.

Date went really well. I need to keep rereading number 3. He’s so attentive. I just pushed the niggle out my mind and enjoyed his company. We do seem a bit like chalk and cheese at the moment. Hes no kids, a bit flashy but I suppose his money is just his own so he can be. Whereas i’m more of a home bod. He talked about career, travel etc. I spent the night avoiding saying well my life is making kids pack lunch, playing taxi etc etc.
I still don’t get why someone athletic, seemingly image conscious, like him would choose overweight, knitted cardi wearing, no makeup me 😂
He also asked my out in to town at the weekend. I haven’t been ‘in to town’ in 20 years. God knows what i’m going to wear!

@crappyday2018 I’m new to dating but I’d meet for quick intro after a few days. I don’t meet straight away, some guys ask what are you doing later. I’d give it a couple of days to check they are still interested and not fizzled out before it’s even started.

@saltysally are you going to see MrPower again? Or write him off?

Hey everyone! I'm back and Kermit is once again ruling! Am just about over Mr Tall so it's time to start again (thank you @HairyArsedMan your support has been invaluable). So have been swiping and have 3 dates this weekend - they are Mr SexyBeard, MrIcrematedhisbrotherafewmonthsago, MrHiker. So MrHiker seems to be a bit over invested in me so will have to tread carefully with him as if there's no spark I will feel bad. MrSexyBeard is fucking hot and wow, we matched twice - once on POF then again on bumble so we're obviously attracted to each other! MrIcrematedhisbrotherafewmonthsago is going to be a tad awkward I think as he spoke to me on the phone at work months ago then messaged me on POF after chatting he pieced together who I was and said he was hoping to meet me someday as I had a lovely voice and his brothers funeral went well! Mr Travels has asked me to go to Russia with him on Saturday - if I didn't have kids I would be fully getting on that plane! He messages me everyday and even sings a good morning song! He sung at whole new world' to me this morning! I find this extremely sweet and we're seeing each other again when he returns from Russia.

Haven't read the full thread just yet but will...I have also made a friend in Mr Paramedic who I was chatting/meeting way before MrTall and we seem to have become cinema buddies! No touching/kissing or anything and it's actually really nice!

I think I'm off Mr G...

There's the matching/chat with a friend, but also a few texts tonight that I found a bit game=playerish (I didn't bite) and then too suggestive. Will sleep on it.

@KhaleesiTargaryen go with what your guy says - and from what you've said Mr Goatee sounds like a goat and a twat. Onwards and upwards sweets

@KhaleesiTargaryen go with what your gut says - and from what you've said Mr Goatee sounds like a goat and a twat. Onwards and upwards sweets

@AtSea1979 jeans & a top ? Heels ? I feel excited for you!

So bumble seems ti be yielding low results. I msg everyone i match and only about 10% of them bother to reply. Bearing in mind my more niche interests previously mentioned i have actually contacted a couple of friends from my past and aignes up to a niche....site. It's not dating per se but for meeting other people with the same interest i guess. Talking to someone on there. He seems nice and like he'd be a good fit for what I'm after right now. Mr Suit. Not as catchy as Mr Icrematedhisbrother but hey

In other news i found the lube. It had slipped behind the toy box. I wish i had found it BEFORE i messaged the stbx to ask him on the plua side i put it to good use with no more weeping (saved that for after the massage i had in the morning) so onwards and upwards!

And i second jeans, boots and a nice top for going out out down town

'Wank and weep' made me PMSL.

AtSea I third jeans and a nice top - the S&B board may sneer but it's a formula that works well. I'm a cardigan wearer too ... lol

Meant to be going climbing with an iron on Monday evening - let's call him Mr Climber, for sake of simplicity! But I've pulled a muscle climbing at my local place yesterday. I feel old.

Thanks @KermitRulesOK gut will be followed. I'm just beginning to suspect he might be sleazy...

khaleesi I'm intrigued what the game/playery signals were? I'm just a fan of human nature at this point

@AtSea1979 Okay so I'm also overweight, I used to weigh 25 stone and have lost 10+ by a gastric sleeve. I'm tall so I carry weight well but I still have 4 stone to go and I hate my stomach as I have an overhang.

Now..... this was one of the reasons I refused to date, why would anyone find me attractive from the neck down. I am attractive generally, am tallish and confident. But as soon as I think about my stomach you can see the change in my physicality as I try to hide it.

I met Mr Cactus and straight away I was like, well he's gorgeous and I have no chance. I often feel like a giraffe, just not a skinny one. Mr Cactus has gorgeous blue eyes and he's skinny, and by skinny well he's a cyclist and does another sport that means he's really lean.

Its taken me the entire 8 weeks that I've got to know him to accept that he does find me sexy and its still a weird feeling. So I totally get how you feel, but remember - a man finding a woman sexy isn't always about looks, its a combination of different things. It's our eyes, hair, smile, the way we way, the way we move, and then its how we look. I lie in bed with Mr Cactus and if I'm on his side he'll put his head on my side and start massaging my hips, I told him to leave my wobbly bits alone and he just smiled and said but he likes them. So really, I wouldn't worry. If he has asked you out again the best thing you can do is find clothes that show you off but you're also comfortable in and walk like you know you're hot!

*the way we walk

@supercali77 I’ll pm you as I don’t want to put too much detail on here 😂

I'm also intrigued @KhaleesiTargaryen is this the first time he's tried game playing?

Good advice @SBD1