Dating thread 170: Know your worth

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@notcoolmum I definitely will do once the UCI Championships are over (can't get to the doctors til next week because the roads are closed) although I might see if I can get tomorrow off work, I can at least get the train into town and walk 30 mins to the doctors.

I seeee about propananol. Makes sense because my heart rate speeds up etc.

Oh and don't be sorry, it was 12 years ago I just get myself in a tiz with regards to the residual emotion (?) that I've attached to the experience afterwards

lifegoes and morenicecereal thanks for the congratulations!

SBD1 So sorry to hear about your awful experience with the police doctor. I understand a little of what that is like - I felt upset and violated after an awful intimate examination from a doctor who just rammed the thing up me with no warning - it was agony. I can't imagine what that must be like if you have previously been sexually assaulted.

Honestly, I don't even remember any of it, just know I react in a certain way. But thank you anyway

@SBD1 do you not need antibiotics again for your uti?

I know it was a long time ago but I understand the trauma never really leaves you. I think we were both raped by our husbands is similar ways? Was this a different attack. Awful if your husband knew this and continued to rape you whilst asleep. Just awful.

Different attacks - so I lost my virginity to a rapist when I was 18. Then in my early twenties at university someone forced themselves. And then my ex husband did what he did repeatedly throughout our marriage and then took advantage of me being passed out on painkillers post split up (had gone round to talk to him about divorce and fell asleep)

I do probably need antibiotics, my issue is all the roads are closed in the town because of the cycling championships and I live outside of town so need to find a way to get in. I had hoped they would do it via telephone and I could pick up a prescription from local chemist but they won't do that (which is understandable) so I might have to try the out of hours hospital HOWEVER I hate wasting valuable time at the hospital if that makes sense! I'll call 111 on my way to pick up DS and see what they suggest

@sbd1 if you need treatment you aren't wasting anyones time.

Wow I'm stunned so many bad things have happened to you I'm surprised you are as open to sex with a new man as you are with Mr Cactus. You must have had some very good therapy to get you to this place. I do hope things continue to go well for you. It sounds like you deserve some good luck

I did have some therapy but I found that locking it all in a box worked for me, although Mr Cactus says that he disagrees with that method lol.

I was extremely nervous with Mr Cactus even just sleeping in the same bed or hugging him for three weeks. Which isn’t long BUT because he wasn’t pushy and I felt comfortable with him I got there in the end. Even if it doesn’t work out with him I’ll be grateful because he’s given me some confidence back. Having said that I don’t know how I’d react to someone else. He’s kinda got a calming aura. Fingers crossed it works out with him though. So far so good.

Just need to solve this recurrent uti! Still debating about whether to make a late night trip to the hospital or not. Bit difficult with DS though

I think Mr C is right. The box wont stay locked until you deal with it. See what 111 say but with recurrent infections I'd think you would need antibiotics as a minimum

@SBD1 definitely phone out of hours, I went for a UTI last month because I couldn't get an appointment with the GP for after work and they were absolutely fine with that. It was really quiet because it was a week day as well

Hi all long time lurker here , can you help me please . Been chatting to someone off fab for ages .. using WhatsApp for whole time . Long story short he lives 160 miles away, asked me to go to see him last weekend which at first I agreed to then because of issues with my dc I couldn’t . Messaged him to explain as we always message usually and chat less . Anyway all fine but then last night started sending awful messages , threatened me when he finds me etc etc .. I’ve blocked all numbers, he has no idea of my actual location only area( which is vast) .. please tell me he can’t find me ?

If you have Facebook @siroli lock it down and remove your number from being searchable. The threat is most likely non-existent given he can’t even be arsed to travel to you. Bloody awful to experience though, hope you’re ok.

Siroli - can you tell us what he knows about you ie phone number, last name etc? I suspect he was just trying to scare you because you cancelled on him

Hi @hairy, yes I have deactivated it even though I don’t think he has Facebook . I’ll make sure my details are hidden but even still my WhatsApp number is the same as my normal mobile number ? I really do feel scared ..

@Ginmel yes he knows my surname, dc names .. I know I’ve been a twat but I do feel so frightened . I feel sick

Is it an uncommon name? Ie could he go to 192.com? Are you on twitter etc? If you want to pm me what details he needs knows about you I'll do a search.

No point in inactivating your FB now. You are better off just making sure you prevent any future risk.

BTW I think you are worrying unnecessarily.

Siroli don't delete the messages. I'd be tempted to go to the police. It's highly unlikely that he'd bother to find you but scary to experience. The police might also be aware of if he's done this to other people.

@siroli www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q770.htm

You may feel embarrassed about doing it, but the police do have powers to make him stop.

Thank you all so much . @Ginmel I’m unsure how to Dm you?

@siroli click on the three dots under this message

And choose pm

Ladies some of you have taljed about hidding your pof profile..How do u do it ? Thanks in advance

@UnimpressorOfCocks congrats on the job!
Re dancing man, do you think he is consistent with you or does it feel push-pull? Push your boundaries then pacify type of thing?
I’d be very wary as he does seem a bit self absorbed x

Also @UnimpressorOfCocks if you’d be happy with fwb I’d agree that D-M seems quite complicated and hard work. Time to look elsewhere?

After un-hiding my profiles last night I already have 2 irons and others I'm just talking to at the moment. One I will call Mr Persistent as he asked me out last time but I had just started seeing Mr Caribbean and the other I will call Mr Kind Eyes. Going to try not to put all my eggs in one basket this time and try not to over invest too soon