No relationship for years and no children. I’m in a hole. Was this ever you?

[Dustingdown]

I’ve done all the things you’re supposed to do to find someone and I have no problem getting dates and meeting people who want to see me again. I’ve just never met someone I feel for and want to progress with.

It’s now at the point where I have accepted this is unlikely to ever happen for me. I’m not even sad anymore, just totally empty. I know I don’t want to live like this always and I would prefer to not be around than to grow old with my life like this.

I do all the reccomended things to meet someone and so I am not looking for suggestions or advice on that but suggestions as to how to go on with my life as it is when I am totally empty. I have a lot of hobbies, see friends, my calendar is full. But it will never be enough and it never was enough. How do I deal with this?

I love providing a home and taking care of my friends children. I want to do all those homely things like cook and make a home nice. I have a high pressured job but deep down my real desire is to run a house for a family

“I have never had the chance to be a wife”

Op this reads to me ‘I want to be a sahm’. Maybe the men you meet interpret this too?

There is no perfect family life.

You can cook all you like you may have dcs who’ll only eat nuggets!

You can clean and tidy every day your dcs will still stain things, break things, draw on walls, get pee poo and sick on your carpets clothes and covers!

It’s not like it looks in photos!

And for every smiling bride there’s plenty with cheating, porn addicted, lazy, selfish, gambling, absent useless husbands- but no one posts that on FB!

If you want a family, get pregnant. Then you will be a family. You have another 40 years to find a husband. You have 5 years to have a dc. Your choice.

Hi OP, I just wanted to tell you that I was in almost your exact same position. I had been with a boyfriend for about 6 years, coming in to my early 30s and finally discussing marriage and children. He decided he didn’t want them, I did, and we broke up.

I was absolutely devastated. Couldn’t even look at another man for a good 6 months and terrified that I’d missed my chance.

I did some online dating and it was a disaster. Met a guy who was lovely, turned out he was married. Met another who was gorgeous and really fun but married to his job and I never saw him. Hit my mid-30s feeling like I wasn’t ever going to meet anyone. I hadn’t had such the strong yearning as you do but just assumed it would happen and then it looked like it wouldn’t.

18 months after boyfriend and I broke up I adjusted my criteria slightly and went on a date with a guy who was slightly outside my usual type. Basically fell in love with him on our third date, it was amazing.

He had no baggage, is gorgeous, successful etc and wanted all the same things I do. 18 months later I am pregnant and we are buying a house and planning our futures.

It’s sometimes impossible to see when you’re deep in it but it really will happen. You just need to keep at it and give yourselves opportunities to meet someone. Make sure you’re enjoying your single life now and make the most of it