How should I reply to this text?

[JaysusWept]

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

If it is H I’d definitely speak to him, calmly. If he is oblivious, case solved. And if he is oblivious call one of the other mums over and repeat the conversation.

My guess is C will find ways to keep H away from the playground for a while so her lies aren’t rumbled.

I'd be amazed if she had the front to show her face, OP. Good luck, we'll all be cheering you on.

I'm actually hoping it's C who's doing pick up and not her husband. If he tries to chat with me, I won't know whether he's actually been shit stirring to C, or whether C has just made up the lies alone. I've no idea what role, if any, he's playing in this.

If C's DH is there all the better, I would go straight up to him and say "Excuse Mr C but have you been telling your wife that I've been sending you flirty FB messages?" If he says "No" then say, "then you better tell her to stop spreading rumours like that about me" Also, try to record the conversation on your phone sneakily

Op just be careful at pick up, be bright and breezy as not suggested, sunglasses are a good idea if you usually wear them.

I wouldn't rush over to any of them, be cool and laid back, the last thing you want is for them to make a stand by blanking you/or closing down the conversation quickly. You will need to read the situation and decide what to do.

I would be wondering why K hasn't replied too, did she want the others to come?

Good luck, you have all of us with you at pick up. I know the pit of dread you describe, but be quick and be cheery is my best advice or better still take someone with you and talk to them.

I think people should drop the needing to see the FB messages thing. Everyone knows they don't exist and it was a pathetic fabrication, and I think the OP should rise above it.

I'd beware of K tbh, she sounds like the Flying Monkey. I totally agree with this. Anyone who was a real friend would quite possibly have confronted C and practically marched her round to apologise/explain; they wouldn't have joined the new WA group; and they would certainly have been on the phone or the doorstep to the OP to express their support.

OP - I really sympathise, in particular with the weirdness over the group happily moving over to a WhatsApp that excludes you. This happened to me (although in a much less dramatic fall out with the queen bee) and at first I thought it was fine, I could still be friends with the others. Until I realised that the others were always going to put the other woman first so ALL Invites dried up not just ones initiated by queen bee.

I still find it odd how this woman's behaviour was completely unacceptable at the time, and I know people felt she was being mean to me (there were a few things that happened that showed me that) , but they just went along with it nonetheless. And what it came down to is that I challenged her on her behaviour and somehow that landed up putting me into the "difficult" and "sensitive" category.

Also, I suspect her marriage is NOT happy. You said something way up thread where you said she's always talking about how great her DH is etc. I think that's overcompensating. So she may have suspected you - - perhaps because of things he's said in the past - or perhaps he threw you under the bus or whatever. But (and this in no way justifies her behaviour) I doubt she's very happy.

[incidentally, in my queen b ee situation, her husband is lovely but before the big fall out I got the sense there were some problems. And she was weirdly jealous of my relationship with DH. Which is odd, because of course I'm always whinging about him! ]

And what it came down to is that I challenged her on her behaviour and somehow that landed up putting me into the "difficult" and "sensitive" category.

Bullies always revert to this one.

So she may have suspected you - - perhaps because of things he's said in the past

There's a strong possibility that C thinks her DH has a crush on the OP and C is taking it out on C

taking it out on the OP I mean*

I'd be amazed if she had the front to show her face

C will most definitely have the front to be there, there is no doubt about that. She most likely be planted firmly in the middle of all her hangers on, centre stage at pick up.
I would be (happily) amazed if she comes over and apologies to op today.
Nope, she has an axe to grind and she will no doubt do it in full public view. She wouldn't dare do this without the support of her sheep, but since they have made their feelings crystal clear about their loyalties I fully expect her to be there op.

Be prepared.

If the DH is there I'd definitely ask him for his side. Ask about the messages and when he can't explain/produce them, tell him to ask his wife to stop spreading shit. Do it loudly (not OTT) and preferably in front of someone you trust who could back you up...maybe even K so she can stop sitting on the sodding fence.

Good luck OP, this is so unfair on so so many levels!
Women really can lift each other up with their power but bloody hell they can tear you to shreds.

Yep, C will be there, laughing loudly with her hangers on. It’s a horrible situation, If you can get someone to come with you it may help.

Hope pick up isn't too stressful.

Crikey, sorry op my last post seemed a bit doom and gloom. Fingers crossed it goes ok.

I honestly think telling them what you think of their behaviour and C's is better than staying quiet. Staying quiet at the start was a bad idea, it just made you look guilty. Sticking up for yourself and saying to friends that you've known a long time 'guys I'm really disappointed in the way this has played out and that Cunt Caroline has managed to ostracise me. I haven't done anything wrong and it sucks that I'm being treated like I have. We've been friends X years and I would've though that counted for something' is perfectly fair.

You mentioned plastering on your fake smile and pretending all was hunky dory. I think this is the key to why you have been targeted by C & L. You aren't wearing your (cheated on) single woman sackcloth well enough, and they feel threatened by your happiness and confidence.

Keep that smile firmly in place, and well done you for managing so well. It will get better soon. Try to imagine yourself having a great time in a year's time, being happy and surrounded by people who value you. C & L will still be miserable, unhinged and paranoid, bitching about the next happy soul who crosses their path.

It probably will impact your DD I'm afraid.

We 'fell out' with parents of a school friend of DDs when they were a similar age to yours. DD was excluded from all sorts of stuff for quite a considerable time and it was shit.

This is such horrible reading, I really feel for you OP. Wonder if C was a playground bully when she was younger.

If H is there then I would ask him why he’s spread lies about you.

As for the mean girls... what goes around and all that!

This is one of the most bizarre threads I've come across on here. OP, you sound amazing and if you've got your sht together. I wouldn't let anyone if these women spoil that. Smile and be your normal self but stop thinking of them as your friends- any of them. Go out and mix with a new set of people away from the school gates/DC domain. You can do this. Let K, M and D learn their own lessons when C/L turns on one of them.

Ideal if you could go up to C’s Dh and offer him advice on how to restore the messages.. imagine his reaction!

I wouldn't even waste your time going up to C(unt)'s DH OP. What's the point? Rise above them all. Fuck them. As I said in a previous post, you deserve better friends. I stand by that. Don't stoop to their level - I count all 5 in that as they all sound as bad as each other, including K

If he’s exactly the same as he always is he might be clueless about the whole thing.

If you do end up bumping into him you could always say did I send you a message? (About a quote) no bonkers scenes but get a sense without looking like the crazy one.

Or avoid him - although would love to know, I reckon he is clueless about it all

As hard as it is, don't let the fuckers make you dread school pick up - i find it's one of the best times of day with the kids so if it's the same for you, don't let them ruin it for you!