How should I reply to this text?

[JaysusWept]

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

Put regular chit chat in the group Op - behave as normal or you will lose the group altogether (unless that's what you want, and if so, just disassociate yourself altogether). It would be a pity if your DD lost her friends over this so hope that doesn't happen.

@sheshootssheimplores She’s very confident and popular. Very sociable - she holds lots of gatherings at her house and arranges lots of things and does like be the centre of attention, but I’d never thought her to be unkind before.
When I threw my ex out after discovering he was cheating, she was so helpful with both practical and emotional stuff. They all were.
As a group we’ve supported each other through things like bereavement and illness and redundancy.
I really don’t know where this has come from with C and L.

I’ve sent a message on WA just asking how there day was and asking M and D if they’re joining us for lunch at the weekend.
I’ll wait and see how things play out after their get together with C.

Think I might try and joke this a bit in the WhatsApp group... take the tension out and sort of laugh about it? Something like 'oh god this is soooo awkward... (Insert horrified emoji) can we talk about normal stuff, how's the (insert neutral topic here)

So if. C is the queen bee so to speak, I think this will impact on your DD sadly

I'm so sorry OP that your friends seemingly havent stuck up for you. Depends how much yiu want to clear your name but I think I would be asking husband what he thinks about all this.....

Wish people would stop saying that this will impact on her DD. This is stressful enough without imagining new horrors that may never materialise.

Be a bit sensitive folks.

Hi op delurking to say I saw you mentioned they are one of your only group of friends.

After becoming an adult and all moving in different directions I to had very few friends until I went to ladies circle now I have at least 15 people I can call a friend the whole point of it is friendship
www.ladiescircle.co.uk/

Be cautious op.

It sounds to me like they are definitely distancing themselves from you (except K) the lack of messages is very telling.

I’d stop messaging now and just wait and see what happens.

It could be very embarrassing for you if they have decided you are surplus to requirements, and they are going to stick with C. It sound like it to me.
Let them come to you.

Thanks all.
No reply to my WA yet...
I’m really hoping that this doesn’t impact my DD - she’s a sensitive kid as it is, and she wouldn’t understand why she suddenly can’t be doing things with her friends.

I don’t have any other friends that I would socialise with - I have work colleagues and we’re friendly enough etc and there’s some work nights out, but no one I would confide in. I do have my parents and 2 brothers and I have a sister who lives in Ayrshire so we see each other every couple of months or so and are close. I told her about this carry on and she’s of the opinion that I should be going to C’s door and dragging the truth out of her. She’s offered to do it for me but I’m not sure that would be helpful It has been nice to have someone unwaveringly believing me - and all of you, of course!

I’m trying to put myself in K, M and D’s shoes - if C had accused one of them what would I have done? I would certainly have wanted to see proof! Who deletes dodgy messages!? Weird as fuck.

For what it's worth, I think they may be going with the easier option of sticking with C rather than risking a confrontation with her. So they seem rather spineless.

I wouldn't push it with further messages right now. I would still go to lunch, and if it comes up you can be truthful and say you are upset at the thought of being left out of the group over something you really have no control/culpability for. Other than that, stay breezy and dignified.

Are there other parents in the year you are friendly with at the school gates? If your ex does some of the pick up/drop offs is he aware of this at all?

I received similar treatment whilst pregnant with my youngest 5 years ago. The others would only speak to me if my 'C' (also weirdly from Glasgow, but not living there) wasn't around.

Sadly my kids were also cut off, but they still were all best friends at school. I just had to say that we were too busy when they asked why they couldn't go to a sleep over/bbq etc etc. It did rattle me quite a lot, and I just waited in my car at the school for the last three years but now their clique has disbanded in that 'C' and a few others have started to move away. I always invited the other mums to our birthdays/BBQs etc as I felt it was childish if I didn't, (and my husband is a very generous pacifist who always wants to take the high road) but my New Years resolution was to not do that anymore, and so I haven't. It feels strange and sometimes mean but also powerful (when I am not doubting myself).

Please find yourself some new friends, OP. You do not deserve this.

You know part of me just think F-this and have it out, clear your name. Id be tempted to approach the husband in the playground and say something to him. This is so unfair on you and your DD op

This is all so very sad and unnecessary. C sounds like a loon who will say anything to save face. To be fair to the others they were added to the WA group and would have to actively leave the group, making it very awkward for them and C knows this!
I would be making playdates for all the DC including C's which hopefully the rest of the group will emulate, therefore ensuring this doesn't impact on your DD. All the best OP, I've been thinking of you.

I really feel for you op this is all horrible. Tbh the messages are old news really. They don’t exist, it was a lie to save face but I’d just let it go and make sure your dd is not affected.

I'm bemused as to why you haven't text L ans asked her why she's cut contact with you? Have you offended her in some way etc. I cannot believe how childish some women are!

Do you think K had already mentioned lunch to M and D? Any chance that she just wanted to see you alone or had already asked the others and they said no?

vavavoom don’t tell other posters what to post - many people have had the sad experience of these nasty bitches going on to punish your children for years ..... the OP needs to be warned of this and Ron

When I threw my ex out after discovering he was cheating, she was so helpful with both practical and emotional stuff.

I know from bitter experience some people can be great at this stuff but would also throw you under a bus at any opportunity - bitching behind your back and manipulating your friendships. Your C could be my A!

C's husband will have been warned that you 'are making up wild stories and causing trouble'. Don't try to engage him. This is awful for you, I'm sorry.

I'm gutted for you OP. What a vile thing to be caught up in. I hope you can salvage things with the other 3 and C gets her comeuppance. The truth will out, it always does, and think how sweet it will feel when it does. Stay with dignified and breezy bemusement in front of them all.

I’m probably least close to L in the group. She’s...probably more easily led than the others. So, no, I’m not entirely surprised that she’s jumped ship without question. I don’t think she’s having an affair with C’s husband, btw. She seems in a very stable, happy relationship.

I’m not sure if I’ve just been the best target for C. My confidence has certainly taken a dip since my cheating ex, and the family house has been sold, I’m not financially well offf and things are a bit tight. I’m probably not the same person as I was 3 odd years ago. But then, having your whole life turned upside down will do that 🤷🏻‍♀️ ex is still with ow, but we’re soldiering on with that, and I’m plastering a smile on my face all the fucking time.
Still no replies to my WA. Says it all. I’ll be civil, and I’ll still go for lunch, but I certainly won’t be confiding in them or discussing C and L with them.

God, I hope Hubby’s at school. I would walk home with him and tell him the whole story and ask him for his deleted messages record. Let him know that you are being bullied and harrassed by his wife and are considering legal action.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. Especially after everything else, but just give it time. At least K has reached out to you; you may find that's the friendship that lasts.

At the risk of making things worse, it might be as shallow as the others seeing their invites to soirees drying up if they don't maintain the friendship with C.

You sound lovely though.

You sound so lovely OP and like you've had a really shitty few years, like can be bloody horrible at times. You sound like you're handling it so well so keep being strong