How should I reply to this text?

[JaysusWept]

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

But we now have more of an idea how manipulative C is. And she got L on her side weeks ago. And she says husband got the non existent messages. So seemingly 3 confirming her story. It would make the others have doubts.

That is not what friends do. That is not the action of people who believe C has lost the plot and that OP is innocent.

Not defending them here however maybe they are just genuinely confused over all this and don't know who to believe? You've got one word against the other now. So everyone bar L must be really in a bad place. L surely has to know that C is lying because she will know no FB messages exist or C would have mentioned them sooner to her not just now they got caught out sending bitchy texts to eachother but that makes thing even harder for the other 3 because it's now 2 words against the OPs one

I was in similar situation a while ago only it was another friend within our circle who was the target of the bitchiness. We were all out in a friend's one night & said target friend was not there, the conversation turned to her which most of the group then proceeded to literally tear the girl to pieces! Said friend is actually gorgeous, so I think most were jealous of her.
Anyhow I asked them all why would they speak so horribly of a person who was not in the room to defend herself, to which they all seemed quite shocked about but went on bitching anyway! I left the house, told them I was not staying around people who talked about another friend like that!
If your other friends were with you they would stand up for you. I know I would. Seems unfortunately like they are enjoying the drama of it all.

I'm in Scotland OP, about 40 mins and a ferry from Glasgow. I don't think you should meet up with any of them again, they are using you for gossip fodder, trust me.. they'll happily swing from your company to C's company and repeat everything you've said, but with a new edge to it.

I do believe if C and/ or her 'incredibly irresistible' Husband were publicly confronted they would crumble ..

it's just appalling what's happened to you and I wouldn't trust any of them, period.

You sound great OP, fuck them

@starflake That situation was different though in that your (ex) friends were just being out and out bitches about the absent friend. Here you have one person claiming another sent inappropriate messages to her husband and said friend is denying it. It's a case of who is telling the truth, OP has said she had no issues with C before recently so maybe she doesn't have form for that kind of behaviour and the others (bar L) are just totally confused? Of course it's hard not to be believed over C but if she's normally pretty sane too then can you blame them for not knowing what's going on?

Go for an mn meetup. I went on one eons ago...in London. I'm from the north east so bit of a trek but worthit. Mind you it was pure mental. My other friend and I were last out of the club trying to get them to let us stay. Another had been literally trying to climb the walls?? Was bizarre.

Wish i lived near Glasgow.

Well she definitely has issues and hopefully the rest of the group will soon realise!
My suspicion is her DH is having an affair OR he gets chatted up a lot when err "inspecting the plumbing" at women's houses. Maybe someone messaged him and he thought it was you? Men can be shut with names/faces.
But likely he's having an affair and she's paranoid. Why she chose you to pick on though who knows. Most of the Caroline's I know are quite bitchy!

*shit with names

I know it’s leaving you baffled but don’t forget it all started with the text C sent.

She most likely bitches about everyone relentlessly but you unfortunately got that text, by mistake.

The rest is classic C go nuts territory to try and save her place

Not sure about K, it might be gossip fodder but one thing she didn’t have to do was tell you about the other WA group. So go to the lunch but think about all the stuff that could be gossip fodder.

I hate to say it, but if they were real friends and believed you, they'd be calling C out on her crap and telling her to stop being ridiculous and apologise for wrongly accusing you. Instead they're going round to hers for drinks knowing you've been excluded. By all means see K for lunch on Sunday, but be wary - if she's feeding you with info about C, rest assured she's doing it vice versa.

Unless it was to make you feel worse but I can’t imagine she’s that bad (one hopes)

I know it’s leaving you baffled but don’t forget it all started with the text C sent.

It started before that, the OP had said she was being "off" with her before she received that text so C either genuinely thinks the OP has a thing for her DH (for whatever reason) or She's a massive bullying bitch who just wants her out of the group.

I was going to say the latter but maybe a mix of both

C either genuinely thinks the OP has a thing for her DH (for whatever reason)
I think this is true

or She's a massive bullying bitch who just wants her out of the group. I think this is possibly C but it might be L instead.

I think it's early days for the others, they are being used...if they are worth knowing they will realise. Don't burn any bridges.

You haven't done anything op, they're just wee fannies.

Tell them you think it's shite they're in another WhatsApp group that's just to talk about you and exclude you and see what happens from there if you want to try and salvage a friendship.

C is trying to be Queen Bee, it won't be long until she's brought down a peg or two. Unfortunately, her minions will take her word as gospel for the time being and no matter what you do, they will find fault with it.

Play her at her own game since she loves them so much.

If anyone asks "C found out her husband been cheating on her by messaging other woman and now the crazy bitch has decided I've been messaging her husband too. Im leaving her to it because she's fucking insane" put it all back on her, don't be anyone's scapegoat.

If she wants to everyone to know you've apparently been messaging her husband then she's not bothered if everyone knows so why not put it back on them and say her husbands a cheating prick.

I wouldn’t be too hard on the rest of the group. They’re probably a bit blindsided. Until a couple of days ago, as far as they were concerned everything was hunky dory. Now they’ve been given front row seats to this insane drama and it’s probably taking a while to process and overcome the dissonance. If Caroline has appeared ‘normal’ up until now, give it some time to sink in.

C for Caroline!
NAH
C for CUNT!!!!

Sorry this is happening to you OP.
You sound fab though so I'm sure you'll find better friends very soon.

Caroline will be spitting feathers if this makes the DM

if they were real friends and believed you, they'd be calling C out on her crap and telling her to stop being ridiculous and apologise for wrongly accusing you. Instead they're going round to hers for drinks knowing you've been excluded. By all means see K for lunch on Sunday, but be wary - if she's feeding you with info about C, rest assured she's doing it vice versa.

Bookworm has it 100%. I wouldn't trust any of the cunts.

@lastminutelarry
Yep - I hate the DM and their fucking lazy journalism but I'd love this to be in there and cunt fact Caroline to recognise herself.

Cunt FACE!!!! Bloody autocorrect!

I suspect this will escalate (again) during the week, before you get chance to meet up at the weekend.

I think I would send them all that long message one of the posters suggested a couple of pages back (sorry forget the name) and again force the issue with the message retrieval, remind them all there is a way to do it (even C) there’s no excuse for her not to do it and it’ll prove you’ve nothing to hide.

I'd also be reassessing my friendship with the rest of the group.

If my DD played with theirs I'd keep friendly on a surface level, so as to not hurt her friendship with their DDs, but I'd mentally withdraw and stay to look for friends elsewhere.

If anyone asks "C found out her husband been cheating on her by messaging other woman and now the crazy bitch has decided I've been messaging her husband too. Im leaving her to it because she's fucking insane" put it all back on her, don't be anyone's scapegoat.

Fight fire with fire? I love it. Do this OP

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