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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How should I reply to this text?

999 replies

JaysusWept · 12/09/2019 10:34

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

OP posts:

Original poster

JaysusWept · 14/09/2019 12:48

There’s no way I’m going to go round to C’s house. I don’t even want to try to repair the friendship with her - that’s over. I just don’t want people believing her lies! Mud sticks, no smoke without fire, etc etc. And it’s just such a fucking random thing to make up!

I did WA K, M and D with the basic facts. I know some where saying not to, and not to fuel the drama etc but these are my friends and we have been a close group prior to this shit so I think it needs to be discussed. They have all replied sympathetically and appearing confused with C and L. C has not yet responded to message asking about these so called FB messages

OP posts:

BumbleBeee69 · 14/09/2019 12:57

Hells Bells OP you do sound strong.. good on you Lady

MarshaBradyo · 14/09/2019 12:59

Well done op

sauvignonblancplz · 14/09/2019 12:59

I think you’re absolutely right to stay away & to fill in the other ladies on the facts.
Wash your hands of this, she’s dragging you into this weird world of hers , don’t let her .
Anyone worth their salt or with an ounce of self respect will dismiss it as nothing but stupid maliscious gossip.

pictish · 14/09/2019 13:04

She’ll have her head in her hands. You were supposed to politely swallow the woman at work shite and make it all go away but you didn’t and now she’s created a proper mess.

I have no sympathy for her but I do hope she learns something from this for the future.

pictish · 14/09/2019 13:05

I’d love to know what you texted to C about the Facebook messages.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/09/2019 13:24

OP, did you text your friends the message she sent you initially?

Original poster

JaysusWept · 14/09/2019 13:28

@pictish I meant the message M had sent her asking about the FB messages! There’s been no response to M as of yet (that I’m aware of anyway).

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit Yes, I included the SS of text in the WA chat. General consesus is that it was about me (which she’s pretty much admitted now with her further actions) so I’m now wondering who else thinks I have an annoying fucking laugh

OP posts:

BumbleBeee69 · 14/09/2019 13:28

I'd put money on C's Husband not being aware that she's spreading lies about Him too.

Iloveacurry · 14/09/2019 13:33

C hasn’t responded to M’s message asking about the FB messages as there probably isn’t anything to send!

LongtimeLurker29 · 14/09/2019 13:33

I wouldnt bother contacting C.
I would wait to see her husband on the school run and I'd say to him " Why have you been lying and telling C that I have been messaging you on Facebook?"
And I would do it within earshot of other people.

My money is on the fact that he doesn't know anything about what she's said.
Then I would stay silent and let it unravel between the pair of them!

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/09/2019 13:34

I don't believe for one minute you have an annoying fucking laugh
At least your friends can see what started it all off and probably conclude why she is so panicked.
What a cow, sorry you are having so much grief. (not shit cake)

Figgygal · 14/09/2019 13:39

How awkward is the next school run going to be!!
Sorry this is happening to you op

BookwormMe2 · 14/09/2019 13:44

Glad you sent the message to the others, OP. Whatever else C says, they know your side of the story now. I think she must be bricking it now – she can't produce any FB messages to back up her claim against you, so people are going to know she's lied. That or she's found the messages, has realised they're from someone else and is now in the throes of an almighty row with her husband.

VeThings · 14/09/2019 13:46

She’ll probably fake up a screenshot next....

Handmaid2019 · 14/09/2019 13:52

What an absolute bitch C is! I can't believe someone has the gall to spread such lies!

Really hope that you're okay and your friends support you.

ThatCurlyGirl · 14/09/2019 13:53

OP just for the record I want to be your mate! You sound nice, strong and a right laugh. So as the friend in Bridget Jones says... FUCK 'EM.

C is a right Emma and hopefully he outcome of this will just be her licking her wounds and learning not to fuck with grown up women who won't let her get away with being a mean girl when she's an adult and a parent.

How would she feel if this happened to her daughter?! Grade. A. Dickhead.

ShirleyPhallus · 14/09/2019 13:58

I have nothing useful to add but just wanted to thank the OP for coming back and updating the thread so regularly!

Lucifer666 · 14/09/2019 14:02

Wow OP that escalated quickly! having read the whole thread what a bunch of drama queens! at this point OP you now know you cannot trust L and M. As for C well she's clearly unhinged stay the fuck away from her, ignore other posters do not turn up at her house because that will 1) Pour more oil on already very troubled waters 2) that visit witness present or not will be twisted and used against you and 3) she could very well call the police and say you're harassing her and DH and that will just give her more ammunition to say your after her DH.

Sadly I've come across complete lunatics like C a few times they should come with a warning label. C is only behaving like this because she probably expected you would either believe her crappy explanation that the text wasn't about you and she wrongly assumed you wouldn't have the guts to confront her so now she's using anything and everything so she comes off as the victim instead of you.

I'd just state you side of things to the others very clearly and not enter into it again i.e "I picked my kids up from school me and her DH had a brief chat around this, arrived at C's I finished convo waved back at her and far as I knew all was good between us. Then I got this text and rather than drag everyone into it I was hoping to sort it out like adults, however C has escalated it and this is the fall out. If I am really guilty of what she's accused me off then by all means show the messages to everyone I have nothing to hide as I've done nothing wrong." I'd lay money on it that would get you silence because a guilty person like C for example would be making up all kinds of lies or saying "oh you misunderstood me" and minimising it etc.

I also agree with pp who says L is probably the one who's after the DH because nothing has happened between you and her other than that text being meant for her yet she has removed herself from the WA group and your fb and seems to have taken C's side wouldn't surprise me in the least if she's stirring the pot big time to take attention from herself and it's strange how she's gone very quiet all of a sudden and its always the quiet ones you watch as the saying goes. I'm sure the truth will come out eventually it always does because whilst L and M clearly have taken sides they're also blind and stupid if they think C will show loyalty to them she'll turn on the others like she has on you people like C have no loyalty to anyone but themselves. Not sure about K and D hopefully they're not as blinded as the others but you know them better than us OP. Once you've stated your side and the facts if they all wanna take C's side by all means let them it'll be their own fault when she turns on them, I'd just keep myself to myself and carry on with my life fuck these toxic bitches they clearly don't have much of a life if they're causing so much drama.

LazyLizzy · 14/09/2019 14:13

I'd have to pull C's husband up at school and ask him wtf he is playing at saying you have been messaging him. Make sure you have a witness.

I'd go apeshit if somebody was spreading lies about me.

Ginger1982 · 14/09/2019 14:28

I wouldn't be able to stop myself having this out with C so I admire your restraint here!!

Anniegetyourgun · 14/09/2019 14:29

M might not be taking C's side, she might have liked the post to keep on the gossip list. After all she doesn't know what the truth is at the moment, and may feel it's best to keep in with both sides and listen to what they've all got to say. Eventually she'll work it out, or decide which side she wants to be on. I wouldn't get all dramatic with her at this point. But I wouldn't share any important secrets with her either... (assuming you'd got any!).

croon979 · 14/09/2019 14:58

I hate bitches.You sound lovely OP. K sounds like a good friend

diddl · 14/09/2019 15:02

Could be that C's husband isn't seeing or messaging anyone.

Just C seeing stuff that isn't there & downright lying.

Maybe the husband once mentioned Op in a positive light & that was enough!

Hederex · 14/09/2019 15:04

The more I read of this the harder I find it to believe we are discussing adult women in their 30s.

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