Can anyone explain what I'm looking at?

[HeadLikeSpaghetti]

Hi all. I'm new to mumsnet and was pointed here by a friend.
This could really be something or nothing and I'm so confused. I've been married for years. Really happily, I've never had one issue with him in all the time we've been together. But... on Sunday I was walking past the spare room where his laptop is when I saw him quickly click out of an email account that didn't look like his. When I asked he got all flustered and said of course it was but Ive got a terrible feeling about his reaction.
This morning I still hadn't shaken it so started digging. I put his phone no in various providers and it was linked to gmail. (His isn't gmail). Now this is where it could be nothing. I can also get into this gmail with his other (usual) email. It then gives the option to convert his usual account to gmail. So I'm guessing it may be innocent but could anyone explain the following please

1. He has a few passwords he uses. The one to get into this gmail is different from his email one
2. There is a username that is not mentioned anywhere on his usual account
3. This username with gmail.com on the end is a recognised email address but the same password doesn't work with it
4. There are options to look at internet history and location history (this one says paused) but I can't seem to look at anything.

I'm just so confused with what I'm looking at. I've always trusted him and feel bad for even writing this but then keep thinking what if?
I know not all perfect husbands are what they seem!

@SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad

"I’ve just found out that he had been using a prostitute"

Can you give us all an 'highly irresponsible' lecture again, please? Why is his privacy the most important thing?

Hello hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Don't believe any of the lies that he will try telling you.
He will tell you that it was just searching online for the thrill or that you weren't giving him enough affection but nothing happened. He will tell you that he nearly did but couldn't go through with it. These are all lies that all cheating men say.

Strength to you op

What a scumbag.

I've just caught up. I am so so sorry. PPs are right, find your anger but keep cool. You are doing so well and your patience and organisation will see you through this.

Also the finer details have nothing to do with your daughters. As adults they can find out the gory details, but this stuff is between you and him. I'd say to keep them out of it as much as you can.

How horrible for you OP and the fact it's been going on for years must be mind boggling for you

OP this is so sad sending you strength.

This is just horrible. Sending strength to you OP.

Let him tell the children. It will be the punishment he deserves

Bad advice above. The children should be told by both of you, it's a very sensitive thing to tackle and shouldn't be part of his punishment!

I'm so sorry to read your update, sending you lots of strength and thinking of you

Please don't tell your children what he has been upto. I know you are angry and want him to be punished but all it will do is harm your kids. When it comes to them, you both need to be grown up and do what is right for them. If you seperate, they will still need their dad in their lives. I'm guessing, if anything, he has been a good dad to them and that should continue

Op should be present, she will need to furnish a reason she is leaving him/throwing him out.
He can confess to them he has been unfaithful, & has behaved in an unforgivable manner.
I am not suggesting he tell them he is a repulsive prostitute user for a decade.

Please don't tell your children what he has been upto

Absolutely agree with this.
It could have a profound affect on them.

For the children's sake, the reason doesn't have to be one of blame because they will then hate him and that won't be healthy for them

I'm so sorry op, if he denys everything and says he was just looking, I would get him to log into that Hotmail account.

I was going to say it depends how lazy he is with his usernames and passwords. Usually if I goto Gmail I'm always logged in (if you have a Google phone you usually need a googlemail/Gmail account to install app store and YouTube).

And when I had Hotmail if you (using a laptop) just clicked username part, it would come up with email suggestions or auto saved.

He's clever if he's deleted it and does it manually each time. It means he's got something to hide. Try on his mobile on the Hotmail email section and on the laptop too, you might luck out if he's logged on recently and forgot to erase the username/email for it.

Also as a suggestion too, can your kids goto prehaps grandparents the night/day you tell him? I think you need to remove the kids from the house for this.

Maybe you need to tell your parents or ask a friend if they can stay? Kids need to be totally in the dark about this, they do not need to know.

What an absolute shit balloon he is OP. I’m glad you’re finding your anger, channel it into getting yourself rid of this useless excuse of a man who has robbed you, and your DC, of the husband and father you were all led to believe he was.
Don’t let it loose on him, if you possibly can. As well as that being better for your kids and maintaining your dignity, quite simply he doesn’t deserve the energy, or emotion, it will take from you.

OP - god I am sorry, just came back to this thread and this was not the update I was wanting.
He will try and deny it - try to get as much info as feasibly possible before you admit that you know.
Get all financial statements - everything ready.
See a lawyer on the quiet and get advice.
You are doing really really well ❤️
Hugs to you and your daughters

Just read the whole thread. So sorry op. What an awful shock

Shocking.
This could be any one of us couldn’t it?

We all think this happens to other people.
None of us believe our own DHs would do this.

I’m so very sorry 💐
You will get through this xxx

Selfish selfish silly man. Absolutely pathetic. You will slowly absorb this OP and you will find your anger. Sending strength.

@ScreamingLadySutch I'm not sure why you felt the need to tag me back into this. Obviously, hacking into somebody's email remains illegal, even when you find something.

In this instance, the guy is clearly a lowlife, and I'm very sorry that the OP is now going through what she's going through. If you're expecting me to defend his behaviour in any way...well, obviously I'm not going to do that! What he's been up to is vile.