Can anyone explain what I'm looking at?

[HeadLikeSpaghetti]

Hi all. I'm new to mumsnet and was pointed here by a friend.
This could really be something or nothing and I'm so confused. I've been married for years. Really happily, I've never had one issue with him in all the time we've been together. But... on Sunday I was walking past the spare room where his laptop is when I saw him quickly click out of an email account that didn't look like his. When I asked he got all flustered and said of course it was but Ive got a terrible feeling about his reaction.
This morning I still hadn't shaken it so started digging. I put his phone no in various providers and it was linked to gmail. (His isn't gmail). Now this is where it could be nothing. I can also get into this gmail with his other (usual) email. It then gives the option to convert his usual account to gmail. So I'm guessing it may be innocent but could anyone explain the following please

1. He has a few passwords he uses. The one to get into this gmail is different from his email one
2. There is a username that is not mentioned anywhere on his usual account
3. This username with gmail.com on the end is a recognised email address but the same password doesn't work with it
4. There are options to look at internet history and location history (this one says paused) but I can't seem to look at anything.

I'm just so confused with what I'm looking at. I've always trusted him and feel bad for even writing this but then keep thinking what if?
I know not all perfect husbands are what they seem!

I don’t know if this thread is too old that no one can see it. Thank you Gemma for your help.
I’ve just found out that he had been using a prostitute

Omg op! What a terrible shock. I hope you’re ok! What an absolute knobhead!!

A prostitute?! Oh my goodness, what a shock. I hope you’re okay.

Oh you poor thing,
Do you have someone to talk to in real life?

Oh how awful for you. So sorry to hear this. What are you going to do?

Omg how awful! How did you find out? Have you confronted him yet?

Oh OP I’m so sorry to read your update.

That's awful x how are you doing

I scrolled back through the internet searches and found a search for escorts in our area. And one page he kept visiting. Over 4 years!!!!!Got my friends husband to make a fake booking to het the address. And it’s in his location history. I only got the last bit of the puzzle tonight so have gone to bed with a headache. I can’t process it.

That’s awful. How did you find out? The emails?

I found my ex was on dating sites, when I was pregnant with our baby and after. It’s a huge shock. Like you I saw a red flag, I actually asked him direct, he denied. So I snooped. Such a shock I had panic attacks.

Get space. Kick him out if you can. Get time on your own to process it is my advice.

I'm so sorry. You must be in shock. I don't know how you must be feeling now. Sleep on it and get a plan together. Do you have children?

I'm so sorry! He's an utter asshole!!

I’m just laying in bed shaking. I thought I’d kill him if he was messaging someone but I never expected this. Our perfect life and my poor kids.

Seems bizarre he would cover up his emails so much but not bother to delete his internet history! What a horrible shock op. I’m sorry.

I have 2 teenage girls.

So sorry. I know people probably over use post traumatic stress but in these cases. I think it’s apt. Your whole life as you saw it, your history, is now having to be looked at afresh. It’s taken me years and I’m still trying to process the cheating - I know how you feel.

However at least you do know now. You found out. Eventually, after a month or so you can begin to make a decision about your future knowing the facts. So much better than being secretly betrayed.

Oh I’m so sorry OP

It wasn’t internet history. That was well concealed. It was the history that got saves in this bloody google account that I could t figure out.
Oh and the email? A million logins to a hotmail account so that mystery was solved.

I’m sorry I hope you have people in real life around to support you through this, and know there are also some very wise women on this board who have been through similar who are usually vert good with advice to help you through.

One thing I would do, is tell some other people even before you confront him. Tell him to get out of the house but don’t engage with him.

I made the mistake of talking to him and I got in a mesh of him explaining away and I reacted less strongly as I was worn out. By getting others in, the seriousness is out there, you can share the burden, because it is a burden, and be stronger. He will not give you coherent answers right now.

Oh no you poor thing - remember this is not your fault. It’s going to take some time to process. Unfortunately you will probably have to book an STI check - we’re here to handhold. Do you trust your friends DH not to tell your DH and do you have anyone in RL to confide in?

He’s sitting downstairs like normal and I’m just in total shock. It’s finished I know that but I don’t even know how I’m going to do this. It is literally like my world has exploded

So he's been doing this for 4 years? Is it the same escort every time?
Speak to him tomorrow when you've made a plan and processed it all.
So sorry Op

Your world has. So be kind to yourself. It’s horrific. See your GP if you need to this week. See if someone can mind the girls, can anyone come around to see you soon? Tomorrow? Just focus on what you need this week.

Can you take the day off work and a friend pick up the girls? To see a trusted friend or family?

Do you want to kick him out now or speak to people first and decide what to do later?

Where are the people now saying op was wrong to check his history?

Should she of just continued life, turning a blind eye to his prostitute use because it invaded his privacy? Treated the stds's and given him all the respect he clearly doesn't have for her.

Waited years and years for him to own up to all the prostitutes he's knobbed? Was never going to happen.

Wake up people, you can actually trust no one but yourself.