Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

@Gothamgirl1970 glad you have pushed this man away. You know yourself that you want to make changes and this man, however good his intentions are, is putting additional stress on you that you don't need. You deserve better, don't let someone else make you feel bad about yourself.

@toooldforthis67 I’d rather have a heavy amazing person than a chiseled ass who also told me I didn’t have balls as big as his ex wife last night in his FOUR page epic rant of insults until midnight last night.

Here though are the facts. He knew me in a professional capacity years ago when I was slimmer. So what?
He ran into me NOW at this weight, asked me out and kept asking me out and snogged my face off all initiation by him. So the weight ultimatum seems a bit stupid since he asked me out on my bigger size and has been pursuing and constantly wants to kiss me. I’m not as repulsive as he makes me out to be.

I was also a little torn however Gotham's second comment proved was a prat.

I understand the attraction of people in shape and in good health. Considering how well he knew Gotham though he should have been able to just support get to getting fit rather than giving Gotham 12 weeks to start getting back in shape for him to then decide if he wants to continue.

I'm not skinny and all Mr Possibly Irristible from last week has done is be supportive and was still happy to date.

And the name because even though I walked away, I've already messaged him this morning. It's not lust. I just don't want him out of my life.

Too right, Gotham. He's a controlling asshole imo. Nothing to do with you, everything to do with him.

Irresistible

Irresistible typo

So I'm a couple of days on and feeling better. He needs his space which is exactly what I'm giving him and I probably won't see/hear from him again which is a real shame but hey ho that's life. I think the annoying thing is the first 2 weeks of messaging and our first 2 dates were amazing and a shape of how the relationship was going to unfold. Then this bombshell hit and I quite admire him to try and struggle through it but it all proved too much and something had to give and that something was us. I feel a tiny bit used but glad that I could help him through something that's quite possibly the worse thing that's happened to him. I've deleted the apps again as I'm not in the right frame of mind and whoever said it's not fair on the right swipes was right. Sorry for the woe is me post - I am reading everyone's post.

Really sorry @onlyme

Thanks @MoreNiceCereal and @shitwithsugaron and all you other lovely people.

Oh the irony of when he met me years ago as a size 6 and DIDNT ask me out and HE was 60lbs heavier!

Haha thanks @shitwithsugaron common sense has definitely absconded

Hi all,

I've been lurking on this thread for a few months, but I'm pleased to report I've been on a very nice date with an iron I'll call Mr A.

I'm staying calm and looking forward to another date.

I just wanted to ask a few questions, do you think it's mostly the women who ask people out in OLD?

I've had loads of likes and matches, and lots of conversations, but this nice iron is the only one who actually asked me out!

I've asked out 3 others, and met up with one. I don't know if I go in for the kill too soon, or I should lead them on with increasingly flirty texts until they ask me out.

Anyway I was literally punching the air with joy when I got asked out, and meeting in person was even better than expected.

I'd say just go for it. I get asked out sometimes, and sometimes I do the asking. I don't see any issues either way.

Right, Mr Possibly Irresistible is actually temporarily at least irresistible. Have deleted him from my contacts. Fab profile is still hidden. Back to no dating for a bit...

What did he do ginmel?

I feel a classic dating car crash coming on. My iron for Thursday has possibly had a boring weekend, weve chatted all morning and are going to meet monday instead. He's massively keen today but i sense rocks ahead. Oh well, hes fun. Mustnt forget my Tuesday date lol

Eyebrow in my experience i do the asking out yes...

@CassettesAreCool he is in the process of divorcing. Has already moved out. Hasn't filed yet so I'm staying away until they've started the process. He has kids so want him to make the decision without any involvement from me.

Involvement sounds wrong because I wouldn't get involved in the process. I just mean that I don't want him feeling giddy from a new relationship to affect his decision making.

Hi all. Hope everyone is well. I've not been on for a couple of weeks so not up to date with where everyone is up to with OLD. I've been on holiday then a busy week at work. Haven't been bothering with any of the apps but still chatting to MR Irish. I wanted some opinions on this though. So we first started chatting 3 weeks ago. I was immediately attracted to him because he is good looking and was very chatty in messaging and messaged frequently over the first 1-2 days. Then reduced to a couple of messages a day for a couple of days but over the last 2 weeks it's been mainly every other day. I'm struggling with this as usually I'd just give it up but his messages are very chatty still and seems like he's interested but so in frequent and so suggestion of meeting up. I'm unsure what to do? I do prefer much more frequent communication than this and don't like leaving it so long before meeting up but he does still sound quite keen and interested. Any suggestions?

Ginmel I think that’s a really strong decision.

Question - Mr EP before DTD very flirty on text though never texted a lot. On the evening he sent me lots or pics and normal life so thought all was a ok. Since then, he’s working very hard (but was before), pretty much always responds to messages (though I’m not texting a lot as I know he’s busy), but avoids anything flirty, and any follow up on asking if he’s free. No mention of date 4, just a reference to work going nuts next few weeks.

Spider senses are saying he’s not that into this now? But I’m trying to sit on my hands not ask.

But why not just SAY, I hate it, just say if this isn’t going to continue! Am I overthinking?

Mr Viking has called it all off,.citing incompatible lifestyles (he wants to live in a van and go travelling, I am decidedly grounded and tied to my location). Fair enough I guess, but it's still deflating.

Maybe it's time for me to take a break and focus on my life right now. I am quite busy, but I wanted something just for me, too. Maybe that's unrealistic.

@morenicecereal I started on the dating apps for something for just me, someone who will never call me mummy, and it's starting to get boring, I have no appetite for the giant fish, the shiny motorbike or the wearing sunnies in every picture.
I think I might have to find something else for me.

@MoreNiceCereal Maybe a something for you should genuinely be something just for you, like a hobby etc. Good luck to him living in a van, I did a bus for six months and it was awful. Surely he shouldn’t really be dating at all if he doesn’t want to anchor himself to someone.

I don't disagree, Simon. He's obviously not in the right place to start a relationship, and I have a full life as it is. Everything is a learning experience if I want it to be.

MoreNiceCereal I have met a few men with the same dream, I guy I dated a while ago was living in his van and it turned out he had no intention of being in a relationship as he wanted to be free to travel where he wanted when he wanted. I would love to live in my van and travel around but I have kids and a job 🤣, it’s much easier for a man to follow this dream but most do it alone. It’s good that he has told you this so you can find someone more suitable, we are all different and it’s not easy finding the right person.