Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

Agree with that all the way @hairy

Apparently there are now photographers who specialise exclusively in taking photos for dating websites - maybe you could try to find one of those? VivaVegas
Or take up new interests? You could look up meetup groups near you? To meet men in real life?

Re multi-dating - in Dancing Man's defence we haven't really stated that we are dating at all. So far just two people with shared hobby meeting up for a drink a few times and getting to know each other. Nothing explicitly to say its anything more so technically he's kinda free to do as he pleases, and certainly free to have a full social life.

@HairyArsedMan yay Hairy! A real life date!!!!

So still no dates on the horizon but thanks to @CassettesAreCool and @HairyArsedMan for great feedback so I have made a few changes and hoping something comes about. Bit under the weather but FWB has a free day tomorrow so might pop over there to spend some time together.

There are a few companies that do photos for dating sites. I considered using one because no one ever takes my photo so I had a profile full of selfies. But I still did okay so didn't bother. I think it was about £100. ...

Hairy she deserves a drink for her chutzpah!

Lots of catching up to do, but congrats Hairy on the real life date, might be just what you need 😉
Ginmel did I feel like a body part? No, it was rather nice to have someone tell me they fancy the pants off me, and would rather not have to behave herself on our next date. I'm perfectly happy to hear she feels like that!
As it happened we sat chatting and drinking for a few hours first and she's very good company.
We've both been honest and said if it turns out to be a quick fling then that's fine, and if it becomes more then even better. Feels pretty easy and straight forward so far.

@supercali77 😂. Every woman should have sexy outfits/underwear ready.

supercali back up plans called DO NOT TEXT 😂😂
shitwith very pleased to hear things are back to how they were with MrB 👍

Seems things are going well so far for most! Happy dating this weekend! I'm waiting on a train platform and bricking it, posting here out of nerves.

Good luck keepcalm😊

Loo update: all good!

I’ve spent years popping on this thread, saying i’ll give dating a go, then bottling it and disappearing again for a while, even so far as having a couple of dates at one point then heading for the hills. I’m 40 soon and I don’t want to be alone for another ten years like the previous ones. When I was in my 20s I never gave this a thought, it wasn’t this hard! Why is it now?

I thought I had a mental breakdown but apparently it was a manic episode. It makes sense. I have been so over loaded with ex's. I can't deal with them. I still don't know where this will all end. I'm exhausted. Confused. Done in. Sorry to be a misery. Prob should have posted elsewhere. Please carry on and don't comment. I just want to hear all your lovely stories. xx

Good luck everyone on dates this weekend! Meeting Mr Hong Kong for drinks tomorrow night. Butterflies are go!

Too old , I cant remember your post but did you say Mr gardener was in touch.or coming over. Stay strong lovely xx

I have no idea why it's so hard,it should be fun but most of the time it isnt.
I thought I'd got lucky at work today,a farmer ( not the 82yr old farmer who keeps asking me to move in) chatted me up and I thought yay,at last.Real life man....but then he told me he was married.

Sick of it. He must of been desperate as I was in old joggers and cleaning a clients loo

atsea I think you really just have to make a leap of faith. The people on this thread are so supportive. They’ve got you. Just do it.

tooold deep breaths now.

Good luck all of you, you deserve all the love and happiness that life has to offer 💐

Hi all, just catching up on the thread, and posting to report back on my second date with Mr A.

We had an amazing first date last week, and my head and heart have been reeling all week, and I was so looking forward to seeing him again tonight.

But the whole thing didn't really catch the way it did last week and I was so much more reserved.

I broke the back of not having been on a date in 14 years last month, and I can turn up really charming and lovely to a first date, but this being a second date really threw me and I realised how vulnerable I feel and how many barriers I have up to let no one get close.

I'm feeling ok, but I've just realised I'm no where near as healed as I was pretending to myself to be.

@eyebrowsofinstagram ah lovely, a good friend of mine says how you feel on the second date is the real decider. Was it just not as flowing? And is it mainly about your own ability to trust/be vulnerable? I can recommend brene browns books and talks for that. But I know it can be a bit of a journey

OH MY GOODNESS

I'm done for.

1. Do not invest emotionally too soon.

What is too soon because he smashed my barriers down last night and I don't mean in a giggidy way

Afer an argument with his Dad, Mr Cactus did not end up travelling down to London last night and instead came to mine at about 8.30, I was napping at the time so woke up to a head on my side telling me to wake up.

I can wholeheartedly say I didn't go for a nap hoping to be woken up by him but BOY AM I GLAD I WAS. Two hours later he said that next time we DTD he wanted me to go on top and I said uh maybe in like two stones time. He said, you shouldn't lose too much weight as I find you sexy as you are. Now bearing in mind I've lost 10 stone and have the after effects of that you can imagine what that did to my emotions. No crying was involved but it made me feel really good.

I'm still not taking my tshirt off but I'm going to have to go to primark to find something that makes me feel good but also doesn't expose me. Better keep saving for that tummy tuck! I was also worried for years that due to having a child I was....you know down there. Nope. Not at all. So my confidence has been rebuilt somewhat in the last few weeks in a way I didn't think was possible. So even if me and Mr Cactus didn't work out, it's had a positive impact.

Wetalked about Tinder last night and I said why were you on Tinder and he said he would have been equally happy to just meet someone for sex, or just meet someone to hang out with without sex but was happy to have a combination of both with me. I said I hate the term hang out and he said I should find a better one to use in the meantime, I said meantime? And he just smiled at me in a knowing way.

I've told him my deadline for knowing what we are is October 26th as thats when we're going to dinner at my best friends house, he kissed me on the forehead and said okay.

@SBD1 glad it went positively for you! He sounds lovely.

@SBD1 sounds very positive indeed...glad it's all going well. I'm just about to go on a first date with Mr Travels...am quite excited about this one

@VivaVegas and @Neverexpected2 - our stories are identical. I’m 55, 27 years married and now trying OLD

I signed up for eharmony but not having success there. I get 1-2 matches a day who live miles away. I did wink at a couple of local ones but they just deleted me - nice.

So I’m now on match. Loads of people have viewed profile but I am only talking to one, who is 10 years younger. I’ve had about 6 winks but again they are all young (in some cases very!)

So my confidence has taken a knock I’ll be honest. I’m hesitating now about contacting first.

What does everyone else do - wait to be contacted or get busy and wink at loads and see what comes back. I’m quite a novice at this and need some guidance (as you have probably all guessed 😀)

Hello! I can’t believe I’m on this thread already, all my previous threads on relationships were about my cheating DH. When I realised on 19th August that there was more deceit I went on tinder to see if his double life extended to a tinder profile... and I ended up meeting someone! Completely unexpected... he just lives a couple of streets away from me. We have been WhatsApping day and night, he makes me laugh a lot, we have met up 3 times now. I’m trying to take it slowly as it is ridiculously early but I am really falling for him! Am I crazy?!!