Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

That's great! I'm glad you've cleared the air and are back on track!

@UnimpressorOfCocks I get your point 'Graduated'.... Facepalm. You can never tell with someone new if it's tongue in cheek or asshattery. Has he got back to you yet?

viva I'm 55 and met someone amazing back in March - you're never too old. I agree, don't pay for a site and read the rules. If you don't like whichever dating site you first use, try another one.

Unimpressor OMG what kind of hell is this biodanza thing 😱 Just no. Makes me feel sick to think of it! If I were ever to do a dance class, I'd be back doing ballroom because I loved it!

shit glad you had a chat with Mr B.

SuperCali - no he hasn't got back to me. Sigh. I guess he's just not that interested. TBh I'm getting more and more about the obsession with connection. My LTR have been with emotional fuckwads, but maybe he is too far the other way.

I just want someone normal and nice who likes me!

Welcome vivavegas to the thread and crazy world of old 😉

My story is similar to yours in that my husband of 21 years did the "not sure I love you anymore" routine completely out of blue and then messed me about for a few months before finally going and me discovering hed been shagging a skank at work for the past 6 months 🤦‍♀️ he continued to deny it for a further 18 months before finally admitting to it all.

So I stayed single for 18 months as didn't feel ready to move on but once I'd got my closure i started old. Tried pof first but wasnt keen as you didn't need to have matched to be messaged so now only use tinder and bumble. It was a big shock to system having not dated since I was 19 but I'm doing ok

@UnimpressorOfCocks He's defo single? Might just be a slow replier...only time will tell! Fingers crossed.

Oh he is definitely single. Not long out of a 14 month relationship. I presume he is on the prowl for a new partner. He's certainly throwing himself into lots of new activities where there are lots of women and lots of 'connection'. He's going to another one tonight in a nearby city. Maybe I am on a reserve list depending on who he meets tonight.

@unimpressor haven't been following your story but if the guy isn't making an effort imo you aren't a priority in his life. From my little OLD experience you can always tell if a guy is interested and if I have to ask myself if he's interested, then I probably know the answer

unimpressor he sounds a bit sleazy. I’m with you about instant connection in the deep, meaningful sense - it’s bollux. ‘Connection’ in a phwoar sense, absolutely of course.

Am I right in thinking you’re in a very big city? 5 rhythms sounds quite fun. I’m not disciplined enough for ballroom unfortunately

Oh I’ve just googled 5R. Not for me.

Dancing man has got back in touch! Its a really nice text and he is asking if I want to go for that drink this weekend.

In the space of these few pages on this thread I have gone from 'he seems really nice, I want to have sex with him' to 'he's probably a weird tosser' back to ' he seemss really nice, I want to have sex with him!'

Unfortunately I am not sure I can make this weekend - I have a job interview I really need to prepare well for.

So I've been asked out in real life. And a nice woman on my route to work was unusually chatty this morning. Who knew the haggard, no sleep, extra bearded, hopeless eyed look was so popular ? If I'd known I'd have done heartbreak more often

I haven't got a clue what to do about that date. I'm not remotely ready, though would appreciate some company, and on a good day I can be reasonably entertaining.

@shitwithsugaron sounds like things are looking up!

@UnimpressorOfCocks go with your gut here...I'm trying to be firmer with myself in terms of making allowances/excuses - sounds like he's investigation other options. And agree with cassettes about the sleazy... For me, that sense of swinging between feeling elated when they text/wondering why they're not texting is a bit of a warning sign that they might be playing games. Do you feel that?

Welcome viva I think hairy gives good advice in his comment. Id also add that you should stay true to yourself. Your right and my right (decision/whatever) could be totally different things, but neither of us are wrong. Have a sense in mind of what you're looking for. I'm on bumble and I quite like it but I think it depends on your city how big the pool is. I think there are more men on it than women (men, would you agree?) which makes me a bit wary of the sweetie shop analogy.

Yuck, cookie Incidental hard-on and you're invited to service it? No thank you. Well rid.

Wow @HairyArsedMan how exciting!!

I chatted with my guy ahead of our date and he seems really nice and has a nice voice...looking forward to meeting him

@UnimpressorOfCocks Sounds like the story of my last 6 months tbh (he's so nice. Creep. Nice). Do you really need an entire weekend to prep? A quick evening drink?

I've just done an Ann Summers expedition. If my date doesn't work out tonight I have back up plans (They aren't really plans so much as people named 'DO NOT TEXT' in my phone).

Just a thought here about the dancing guy and the investigating other options thing. Much of this thread contains deliberations by people concerning their options ('irons'). What is so wrong with him doing that ? Is it because he isn't saying that upfront ? How many people do actually say that upfront ? I dated serially, and said so. It could be time consuming/slow on the one hand, but on the other the logistics and thought processes seemed to work out better for me.

Hairy why not go? You just never, ever know. I've been asked out on two dates this weekend and will probably go on one of them - the other spells course corse - I'm a bit of a spelling snob lol The guy I was seeing until recently has been in regular contact and seems to putting his life into order - we've said we'll meet up again in a few weeks time, and a man I saw for a few weeks in July has asked if I'd like to meet up for a meal as friends - buses spring to mind!

@hairy I don't think anyone is complaining about multi dating unless I got the wrong end of the stick. It's more a feeling that you are being kept on the back burner and your iron is bread crumbing

Hairy - I think you should go for it! A real life date!

Yes, I do need the whole weekend. I'm trying to get back into a specialised area I left over a decade ago and I know there is really stiff competition for the job. I have a LOT of prep to do. I went out last night and am shattered today, to bed later than normal ( I go to bed REALLY early) , youngest woke me up three times and an early start). I've got hardly anything done. I really want to be alert and max out on the time I have at the weekend, especially as I am losing half a day taking my son to a birthday party. Plus if date goes well I will be so excited I won't be able to sleep!
I've already told Dancing Man and we are going out next Friday. His texts have been really funny and nice. I don't blame him going out. All the things he is going to are dancing related - that's his thing ( I love dancing too). I will though be checking out signs for niceness to weirdness ratio at our date (if it is a date - it might just be friends but I suspect from his texts he is also interested in seeing if we could have something more).

ps I don't think he has been deliberately slow replying - he is at work after all.

Yep flakiness is poor in any scenario @Ginmel but if you multi-date at some point someone in the rotation will be on the back burner and when it's not stated upfront, that someone will know it based on gaps between dates and vagueness on availability.

And when it's not stated upfront either way, you can see on here how much angst is caused by the assumption that this is going on.

@UnimpressorOfCocks Result!

Thanks all, I'm not sure how I'd meet someone other than OLD, although a chance encounter with someone nice would be good!

I need to find some decent photos, I hate having my photo taken and never like how I look in them so that will be a challenge.

I just feel I could sit on the sofa continuing to wonder what he is doing with his ho or I could try and find someone nice to spend fine with!

Still bricking it obviously 🙄

@VivaVegas The best revenge is living well. I can recommend going sexy underwear shopping as a start ;)