Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

I mean yes and no, I’m invested but also wary after our conversation. I’m cautious in person not to be lovey doves but I can’t help how my emotions are running

I have a track record of going off people so for now I’m letting the course run how it wants to run. I don’t tend to get heartbroken I just move on.

He doesn’t make the first step because he said to me he’s wary of my boundaries and doesn’t want to push me. Once I make the first move he then continues with it.

Oh I should state, the boundaries thing is because I explained I’d been assaulted three times in my life

I just don't get why you are running after him tbh @SBD1 I get that he might not hug you etc because of boundaries. But the rest I don't get. It feels like it's an excuse personally. But you know the situation better

I think my posts have conveyed I'm running after him but I'm not really. I mean in my head I am...as in I think about him a lot but in terms of communication and stuff its been fairly equal. Like he's been the one to invite himself to mine for the evening, he arranged thursdays date. In fact I've only arranged two of the times we've hung out over the last month. I took him a gift last week, mainly because he brought me a gift on our second date.

However...I am leaving the ball solidly in his court now. He can arrange to see me, I'm letting him text me first that sort of thing.

He just over thinks things quite a bit but seems happier since I confirmed that I'm not rushing into a relationship with him. Of course I want this to go somewhere because I really like him but DS and my life take priority. If he fits in then thats good, if he doesn't then oh well.

SBD1 like you I have been assaulted several times (3 different people), I’m finding the whole touchy feels thing hard work, mainly because I don’t want to give out the wrong signals and I don’t want him to think I’m over invested. My Skinny does hold my hand when we are out and kisses me in public but it’s taken a while for me to make the first move or to reciprocate. I’m still putting up wall so I don’t get hurt and telling my self all will be fine if he vanishes or things just don’t work out.

@Lovemusic33 The first time we cuddled in bed my heart raced and I was in proper panic mode, he asked if it was okay and I said yes I'm just adjusting and he didn't push it any further. Then the next time he was a bit more tactile and again, asked if it was okay. And then I stayed at his one night and we were even more cuddly and intertwined, but nothing more. The next night I stayed at his again and the next morning I took the initiative and kissed him and that was that.

With sex, I said I would do you right now but its TOTM and he said no rush, whenever you're ready. When we finally did a week later he followed my cues. And thats probably why I like him so much. I've never had someone be like that with me. We're slowly getting used to each other and learning what each others signals are. And he knows I am insecure about my body and doesn't push me to be completely naked if I don't want to and doesn't I guess, expose me? He's super thoughtful.

All those reasons are why I took our conversation a different way to people who are just reading my interpretation etc.

I'm wondering whether I should ask him about PDAs rather than initiate it. It doesn't matter how many hints I give him, he doesn't pick up on them hahahah.

SBD1 - he sounds lovely. Your description actually made me feel all warm inside! What a good sounding chap!

I've read the entire thread so I've thoroughly caught up but I almost don't know where to start. Sorry to hear of the many break ups ( @ HairyArsedMan I’m gutted for you )
but glad to hear that things are still moving which i think is the main thing.

Well, I did really fall for Mr Fireman and we continued to see each other fairly regularly but I eventually realised that it was all pretty shallow and certainly not a relationship. Between the sheets we were mindblowingly amazing but he was actually quite dull and maybe a bit mean apart from that - a bit up his own arse too.... In hindsight I think it was only ever about the sex for him which was quite hurtful to realise. But we parted but on fairly good terms and we still send the odd text.

I went back on bumble the other week and things are looking quite hopeful I have a (first) date tonight with Mr L who seems quirky and charming but maybe a bit serious...and a first date lined up for the weekend with Mr T - to whom I am considerably more attracted. He's a whopping 1foot and 2 inches taller than me and looks pretty well built. Totally ticks my boxes.
There are a couple of others I'm chatting to but I'm not so sure.

Quirky and a bit serious sounds like my ideal tbh Khalees. Feel free to send your rejects my way!

😂😝 I’m on my way now unimpressor will keep you posted.

SBD1 he sounds nice to me too, and you sound like you have your feet on the ground but the correct amount of hope in your heart. Good luck.

Khaleesi loo update?

In news from the off-OLD front - I've stuck to no apps, and after a wobble on Friday/Saturday I'm feeling better and have no temptation to go back on. Some of my displacement activities (sport) have been deferred due to unfortunate events, but they are all lined up and paid for. And during the wobble I called my old counsellor and we met today - I feel a series of six or so sessions will really move me on so I'm very happy about that.

On the dating front, I have barely left my house so obvs have met no-one . But the FWBs are being sweet, seeing Mr Greedy for a sleepover tomorrow. And Mr Mmmm from Tinder, who I failed to meet for a second date over a month ago, got back in touch. After some hard negotiating about what we are looking for, we have a date lined up for Sunday. Time will tell.

Just had to postpone Mr Young a week. He didn't seem too bothered as he's busy at work.

It's a man like Mr Smart that I really want. Mr Young could still be fun as it will only be a FWB. We'll see. Fab profile staying hidden though. If Mr Young fades out I'll be fine. I actually gave him a lot of profile advice to try and improve his response rate.

Ambivalent me

And I've realised I miss Mr Smart. Damn it

Oh.. Mr Adorable Dog just messaged asking if I wanted to meet up. Sex with him really wasn't that exciting so I have said no. Wish I could still see his beautiful husky though. Husky is only 5 months old.

@cassettesarecool hmmm long fingernails 🥴 can’t stop looking at them

And not in a good way!

Like a coke nail or all of them?

Oh plural. Eurgh

Yes, plural. It’s a no from me. Quite intense as well... funny how they can look just like the photo but the personality immediately can clash.

Sorry khaleesi but Yuk yuk yuk to long nails.

What’s a coke nail??

@ginmel life’s too short for rubbish sex. Or rubbish personalities or long fingernails 😂
I’ve decided I’m only going with what feels right from now on.
I’ve learned a lot from my experience with sexy fireman. The whole package needs to feel good.

Oh I know @khalessi but his dog.... I agree life is too short though!

@CassettesAreCool some people have an extra long nail to cut cocaine. First encountered one on a colleague many years ago that was hideously long. Had no idea at the time! And yep he did sniff a lot!

Oh lord that’s revolting 🤮

Urgh long nails on a man?? So I have a brand spanking new iron and I'll call him Mr Nuclear. We've moved from pof to WA and already looking at meeting (I like to meet early). As predicted Mr Tall messaged this evening, I replied but was clipped. I think I'm just about over him now...helps to have lots others interested though and also a couple of dates lined up this weekend! Am childfree and it's my birthday weekend!