Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

@Sunshineandflipflops just echoing what a few others have said, those on the 12 step programme can be very persuasive but I think the whole 'not getting into a relationship for a year' rule is there for a reason. I think they genuinely need to focus on their underlying issues rather than someone else. I remember talking to one on here. I didn't pursue a relationship with him because of this but we ended up becoming friends and I could see how he was being inundated with women due to the charm and sincerity whereas I knew more of the other side, that he clearly hasn't resolved other stuff but didn't show this side to the new women. I felt for these women as he liked them but had lots of darker issues he had put away, also on the 12 step. Just be aware as you sound like you are besotted with him.

@HairyArsedMan yay, it's me, still swiping to no avail. I might PM you though not sure how you send Bumble profiles. Sorry to hear about you and your MsM&M but to me, the true romantic, can't see how it's over over!

That not getting into a relationship thing for a year is not in the Big Book. I'm glad @Sunshineandflipflops is so happy. I just want her to stay alert.

Hope you begin to feel better soon @BatshitCrazyWoman

twins! 😱 @HairyArsedMan. More alarmingly there are a lot of twins in my family.

I’m glad sending the poem gave you some sense of closure @onlymebutdifferent.

I hope the counselling is helpful for your son, @Ant330. It sounds like she’s having a really tough time. And I’m glad that MissH failed to reel you back in.

How did college go @shitwithsugaron?

Thank you everyone, I understand your concerns and appreciate it.

I am not besotted but I do like him and think he is a pretty amazing person who has completed his 12 steps and put a lot of time into completely changing his life and helping others.

I didn't know home before and all I can go on is now but I am a sensible person and will keep my eyes wide open.

*him

@BatshitCrazyWoman yep I'm good, thanks. You and MrBC sound ace! @Sunshineandflipflops I think you have your feet on the ground but I know how easy it is to get swept away - enjoy it for what it is but stay alert. After the fuck around from MrSAS I'd hate for you to get hurt. @HairyArsedMan it wasn't bloody easy to delete him but had to to be able to move forward - was really into him. It's hard when they take up so much headspace! I have Mr Travels on Saturday and a new iron Mr Events on Sunday to take my mind off him anyway! @Ant330 MissTiny sounds lovely and I bet you're looking forward to tomorrow! @shitwithsugaron how college was great!

I speak as an addict here @Sunshineandflipflops getting sober/dry /clean isn't the main challenge - it's staying that way when the shit hits the fan. Completing the steps is a mere beginning. Am still in your corner

I forgot to write my updates! I've woke. Up to 4 'good morning' messages which I quite like! Will reply as the day goes on...first one being from Mr Travels as he sets off for work at 5:30 and his had 😘 on the end...ooohh I actually quite like this one already - looking forward to meeting him for breakfast on Saturday morning. It's my birthday on Monday 41! Boo hiss

@onlymebutdifferent nice closure with the reason, season, lifetime poem. I'm glad the poem could help you. In tough times I've had that poem stuck on my wall.

@Ginmel I couldn't remember who introduced it on here but I copied it and pasted it and will print it out and have it framed as it really struck a cord with me. It explained exactly why I was in Mr T's life and hopefully it'll make him feel a bit better too.

I know @Ginmel. All I can do is see how it goes. I could meet anyone who could do anything at any time. At least I'm aware of his past and can be cautious. He deserves a chance though.

@Sunshineandflipflops I was thinking this the other day - he didn't need to be so open with you but he has and I see that as a positive. Total honesty is a good thing

I agree he does @Sunshineandflipflop

Was me @onlymebutdifferent 😊

Thanks @Ginmel he hasn't replied but then I didn't expect him to either. I actually want him to feel guilty and maybe the next woman he lures in he might think twice

@Lovemusic33 I know you had some pretty awful dates before MrSkinny, am wondering if you like him enough or if he is just better than them?
It’s quite early to be getting bored but equally I do understand if you are just doing things same thing every week.
I love being with MrTri but am at the stage where I too wonder if I can handle a full relationship. Dating is ace but DC and I are so settled in our way of life I’m not sure if I even want to change that. Seems whatever I have I’m not happy

SO glad you enjoyed the course Shitwithsugar on!

Hi All, I'm pretty new here so not up to date with everyone's stories. I've ben trying OLD for about 2 months. Have had 2 "dates" with Mr Boat, he seems really nice and we talk easily and I feel comfortable around him. Initially our messages got very , erm intimate, but since we met that's totally trailed off. We message every day - usually more than once and its often he that initiates that but its all very "how was your day" and I don't feel I'm getting to know him any better. He says he wants to meet up again but we haven't arranged a date for that. Any tips how I can get him to open up a bit on messages how do I find out if he's genuinely interested in me???? - or do I just wait until we see each other in person. I'm very shy so can't see it being me making the first move!!

iamthrough I know it feels like a big step but ask him out on another date, everybody can feel a bit nervous about seeming pushy initially, but I recommend taking the bull by the horns.
Worst case scenario, he says no and you can move on having wasted no more time on the wrong person, best case he says yes 😉

Morning all. My last childfree evening until next week now and unfortunately MrWade already has plans - however he is going to come over and spend the day with me instead 😊

shitwith glad to hear college went well, sounds like an exciting new chapter.
"Disapproving huff" 😂😂
Hopefully things with MrB will settle back to normal over the next week or so, iI'm not excusing his behaviour on occasions but it's clearly been a very stressful time for all concerned. Fingers crossed for you 🤞
Thanks woo 1st session went well and he opened up a bit to her, she thinks she can sort him pretty quickly as he's just got into a bad habit of reacting negatively and angrily. Glad we've done it and I ignored everybody just telling me he's a teenager he'll be fine.

sunshine I know everybody is just looking out for you and it's useful to have advice from those who've gone through it themselves, but you're right you could meet somebody who seems lovely but has any number of hidden issues.
My expectation is that you will need something to go wrong before you then see how he copes under stress or upset. But when you were advising me when my son was being bullied, you're clearly very intelligent, sensible and grounded so I have less concern about you knowing what you're getting into 😉
Enjoy it he sounds lovely!
Btw I'm not knocking anybody for providing advice and showing concern, I think the support this thread provides is bloody amazing, just my personal thoughts 😉

@Ant330 Thank you and i'm glad your son is getting the support he needs x