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Original poster

Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

999 replies

JeSuisPrest · 05/09/2019 14:19

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

OP posts:
Ginmel · 09/09/2019 18:27

What an absolute shit

Happy birthday @TooOldForThis67

It's a shame we all don't live near each other and organise an impromptu proper birthday evening

TooOldForThis67 · 09/09/2019 18:36

Gimmel - I think it's been mentioned before, meeting up. Wish it could happen. I'd certainly be up for it. I'm East Anglia.

Ant330 · 09/09/2019 18:38

Belated Happy Birthday TooOld what a prick! I cannot stand it when people commit to arrangements and then don't follow through on them. You are absolutely right that you deserved more than he was offering tonight, and for him to then throw his toys out is taking the piss!
Feel for you as it's not how you wanted to be spending your evening Flowers

onlymebutdifferent · 09/09/2019 18:44

@TooOldForThis67 I think it's his attitude that would piss me off! Hate it when people arrange stuff then change stuff last minute...what a wanker and you're well rid.

I've come off pof again as it's all too much...had so many messages I couldn't keep up and forgot who'd id messaged what and kept repeating myself lol! Going to give Tinder a try

TooOldForThis67 · 09/09/2019 18:46

Thank you onlyme and ant. Actually you made me tear up ant. 😥

Ant330 · 09/09/2019 19:14

TooOld sorry didn't intend to make you tearful. But if it's any consolation at all, I think you've done absolutely the right thing. I imagine there might be (or was) a small part of you wondering if you have or not because it's royally screwed up your evening, but you definitely have imo 😉
It's one night and you will have plenty more of them with somebody better Flowers

TooOldForThis67 · 09/09/2019 19:18

Thanks ant you hit the nail on the spot (in a nice way).

BatshitCrazyWoman · 09/09/2019 19:19

What a cock, TooOld Happy birthday 💐

I came home from work poorly sick, crashed on the sofa and have just woken up. Feeling a bit sorry for myself!

UnimpressorOfCocks · 09/09/2019 19:26

I didn't know there was a dating thread. Can I join! I love the thread title and list - so true! And totally timely reminder for me. There is a guy I like who has started going to a class I like. He asked me for a drink after the class on Saturday and we stayed chatting till the pub closed. We are going to another (different) class on Thursday - not a date, he suggested I might like it previously and I decided to go. He seems really, really nice. There is a lot about him I like, and which is rare to find. BUT he is very sociable and may just have been being sociable when he asked me for a drink and I told him I have two young kids which may have put him off. I am trying to remember rules 3 and 4 from up above!

UnimpressorOfCocks · 09/09/2019 19:29

And I wish I had read and absorbed rule 13 before I got married all those many years ago - cos then I wouldn't have married the bastard!

TooOldForThis67 · 09/09/2019 19:30

batshit hope you perk up soon. unimpressor - take a chance, you never know.

Ndotto · 09/09/2019 19:38

Hello again - keep trying to keep up with the thread but am so busy at work and home my head is spinning and am still about 10 pages behind. Sorry. Seen a lot of bad behaviour from irons on here though and am righteously cross on all your behalf as you seem a lovely lot.

I think I am crap at online dating, have made all the classic mistakes. Moved off POF, hid my profile after a few days and moved 6 irons onto WhatsApp. Deleted 3 now (one clearly not interested, 2 clearly looking for hookups) and of the remaining 3, your advice please as may be wasting my time on them all. ...

  1. met Mr Successful for a coffee last week. I liked him, we laughed a lot, but he is quite challenging (think really acerbic sense of humour) and kept mentioning how young and beautiful his last GF was Hmm On paper he's ideal - similar education, career, income, politics, plus he is really funny - but the odd thing he said made me wary. He paid for the drinks, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said 'I'll leave it to you to get in touch'. Am now thinking 'chivalrous? given me a get out?' (as I kept saying how busy I was all the time and admitted I find it hard getting a free night) or not interested? Or just a game player? Ideas? Haven't contacted him, may do, may not but he's still on the apps a lot so... ??? Would you???

  2. Mr Tidy - slow burner for me, was all over me and I only responded now and again, then we moved onto WhatsApp and messaged all the time and started to really flirt and get along. Said he wanted to see me when he got back from holiday. Didn't message for a couple of days after he returned (though messaged me all the time while away) and I was about to delete when he phoned out of the blue, but I missed the call as was at work. Messaged him to say, sorry, was busy, do you want to try again? and not heard since apart from a message saying 'don't worry, thought I'd try you, let's try to speak another time'! Then radio silence. Loser, right? Worth one last message or has he moved on? (I am ambivalent about him - he's fit, but a bit pedantic)

  3. Mr Sweet - one of the first people to message me 3 weeks ago before I hid my profile. Nearly didn't respond as he lives a bit outside my designated zone (which I admit is a very lazy few miles), and didn't hit some other criteria, but his message was so nice and uncomplicated and we have been messaging constantly day and night for a while now. I am starting to over-invest and look forward to his messages (he is definitely the one who is the most my 'type' physically, and seems so nice) Seeing as I thought I was Brigid the Frigid who hasn't fancied anyone for years, this is a bit odd for me. And also he hasn't suggested meeting though have dropped hints. Should I just bin him off too? As either he doesn't want to meet me or, if I give him a massive kick up the arse gentle nudge and force the issue, he might say no, or just make lame excuses. Why hasn't he asked me? All the bloody ones I didn't like asked me! I shouldn't have let it drag on, should I?

Any advice? Besides just get a hobby/watch more TV/buy a dog. I am making all the classic mistakes, I really, really suck at this... Blush

Help!

UnimpressorOfCocks · 09/09/2019 19:52

No to 1 and 2. Ask 3 if he would like to meet up. Why does he have to ask, why can't you? Just ask!

Ant330 · 09/09/2019 19:56

Ndotto your description of no.1 doesn't make him sound like a particularly nice individual, so if this is how you view him I'd say move on. Curious though, how do you know how much he earns after 1 date?
No. 2 you're ambivalent about so why message again, see if he chases you not the other way around. Make your mind up if he does.
No. 3 just sounds like he needs a nudge in the right direction, take the bull by the horns and ask him out.

WhatWhyWhen · 09/09/2019 20:32

I’d agree 1&2 no (2 at a push but 1 sounds like an arse). 3 you ask him!

And Unimpressor I am SO pleased to see you on here, your thread was unbelievable and actually managed to make me feel better about the last victim blaming wanker I dated, which is saying something!

Pull up a chair and a beer and join the perils of dating!

Ginmel · 09/09/2019 20:33

Hope you feel better soon @bats there's lots of lurgies around at the moment

shitwithsugaron · 09/09/2019 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnimpressorOfCocks · 09/09/2019 20:42

Thank you for the welcome WhatWhyWhen! And I am glad that my sharing my tale about that colossal arsehole helped someone feel better! At least some good came out of that extraordinary experience Grin

shitwithsugaron · 09/09/2019 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatWhyWhen · 09/09/2019 20:46

Well exactly! After “Mr you’re amazing perfect for me, oh you were raped? how RECKLESS you are to date people” I didn’t think an iron could be less self aware.

Then there was unimpressed cock man all “hold my coat” Grin

Anyway, got to laugh not cry right?

Bats hope you feel better soon x

WooMaWang · 09/09/2019 20:47

It’s impossible to catch up with this thread.

@onlymebutdifferent I’m really sorry that you and MrT went south at the dreaded 3 month mark. It’s definitely his loss.

@TooOldForThis67 I agree you did the right thing. How dare he respond to you like that. What a dick.

UnimpressorOfCocks · 09/09/2019 20:47

Yes that's me shitwithsugaron! I'm still in the game!

Bit worried that the new guy I like will turn out to be a tosser too given by git detector is clearly so wonky.

He didn't seem like a tosser though. He seemed genuinely nice! He mentioned several female friends too. I always think it's a good sign if a man has female friends..

onlymebutdifferent · 09/09/2019 20:50

Thanks @WooMaWang definitely his loss! Actually really looking forward to date on Saturday with Mr Travels. You're right about this thread I can't keep up!

@UnimpressorOfCocks I read your thread and my gob was smacked! Welcome to the crazy thread where you can rant/laugh/cry and we'll all support you

CassettesAreCool · 09/09/2019 20:54

unimpressor can you post a link to that thread please? Sounds intriguing!

Ant330 · 09/09/2019 20:56

Yes I'm intrigued as well 😂