Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

@SimonJT Sounds like something I'd eat for Lunch! I have the same thing everyday John West Creations Pouches (Samon with Bulgar Wheat and Chickpeas). Its very rare that I deviate

Maybe Mr Cactus and I are perfect for each other

For very different reasons to Miss T I took a long time out of dating. As much as they first men I met were about getting back in the saddle, like Miss T I wasn't new to dating so also knew what I was looking for

So I’m about to try to catch up on your lives, but in the meantime I found this depressing article about dating and the probability of finding someone.

I’m uncharitably tempted to suggest that it’s not just the numbers that might explain his lack of luck. 😂

Rick what happened with MsEyes? You had a fab date?

Ant so glad MissTiny is working out so far

Echo happy swiping!

@Ginmel she has said all the right things, which is easy to do, but behaviour so far has backed up what she's said. She seems very clear what she's looking for, particularly what she won't put up with.
I imagine she's probably got far more doubts/questions about me knowing I've been OLD for a while.
Anyway if she is just using me to get back on the horse, I don't think I'm against being used and abused for a bit 😂
It's one date, too early to be worrying about stuff imo.

I'm happy to admit I'm a geek. I'd be amused @woo but appreciate I'll be the exception...

@Ant330 you've got the right attitude. I was more commenting on @CassettesAreCool thoughts

Sorry Ginmel wasn't disagreeing with you, bit of a brain dump 😂
Woo I don't think you'd be being uncharitable, merely pointing out what's obvious to the rest of us.
Mind you I did like the fact that he hasn't become cynical enough yet to start a spreadsheet about dates, I'm sure I recall somebody doing that to keep track of all their irons 😂

@candysroom happy to take a look if you want, just PM me if so.

It's one date, too early to be worrying about stuff imo. This! 🙌

@WhatWhyWhen it was a fab date. With our schedules we'll only see each other nearly once a fortnight, so I we're both on the same page and enjoying each other's company and see what happens.

Advice needed! Supposed to have a date tonite with MrSolid. He booked today off last week and I wrongly assumed that we'd spend the day together and finish off with a meal out tonite. (Belated birthday celebration). I made all the necessary child care arrangements. This afternoon he msg to say he'd be over 7ish and can't stay as he has to get his DD to school in the morning. So, it would just be a meal out, him not drinking, DTD and then go. Totally popped my bubble. So I cancelled. I kept up the pretense to my Mum that I was still going to see him as I think I need time out to seriously think about what I want. His DD could easily stay with his ex so not sure what's gone wrong. His reply to me canx was 'no worries'. I expect I'll get a 'you ok?' msg later. Don't know how I'll answer.

Why did you cancel @TooOldForThis67

@TooOldForThis67 Sounds like wires got very crossed! If you thought you were spending the day together why did it take until this afternoon for contact to be made? Didn't you chat about it last night e.g - what time/where are we meeting etc? Personally I can't be doing with last minute arrangements, but I'm a pretty organised person and don't do last minute arrangements well. My hair takes too long for that. How long have you been seeing him and what's the set up with you both?

I'd have to be honest with him and say I'd assumed we were spending the day together, but I've obviously got the wrong end of the stick somehow 🤷‍♀️. I'm fuming for you. Arranging childcare for a big day/night out is a ballache at the best of times. I just don't think some men, unless they are the main carer get it at all. Child free time is so precious it feels like a real kick in the teeth when its "wasted".

jesuis I've dated him a couple of times before. We've spent 2 NYE's together. More off than on tho. I hate changes to plans. I was there when he booked the day off, saying we can spend the day together and he doesn't have to worry about work the next day etc. Then I get 7pm and he's not staying. As it was supposed to be my belated birthday celebration I kinda expected more than a meal out, quick shag then disappearing act. I have told him as much. I've just got a reply!

@TooOldForThis67 def sounds like huge crossed wires. Don't you want to see him tonight?

Ah. I'd be disappointed if you had discussed spending the day and night together and it was for my birthday. I'm a bit hopeless with birthdays. I'm rubbish at planning things for others. But really love it if someone does it for me!

I'm learning I love it when people do nice practical things for me. Mr S was handy around the house and it made me feel looked after.

notcool yes I did want to see him but was so disappointed in the little time he's allotted to me. He replied 'I just wasted a f*cking days holiday'. Ah well, that was short lived!

@TooOldForThis67 How has he wasted a days holiday when he wasn't seeing you until 7pm for approx 4 hours? Isn't that just a normal night out for most people - no booking of holiday leave required for that surely?

Oh no, tooold and his toys are all over the floor now too! Obviously his holiday wasn’t just for you, otherwise he’d have spent all of it with you. I’d throw this one back for the last time. (Can’t abide bad language in the heat of the moment - who swears at an iron???)

That’s awful Tooold was he the one with no transport who and the motorbike or am I getting mixed up?

He hasn’t wasted a days holiday if he only gave you 4 hrs???

Sounds nasty though so bin and next!

Yeh his reaction would annoy me. He wasn't spending his day with you if he wasn't coming to yours until 7. So how are you responsible for his holiday?

Oh man, car crash alert.

Do you ever have chats where you feel youve lived through an entire relationship in 36 hours without actually meeting?? Thats what just happened.

Now feel stupid that i gave mr monday the benefit of the doubt several times during the chat (especially referring to his 'bitch ex') only to reach the point having slept on it of feeling i had 4 really significant examples showing he's utterly cloth eared where women are trying to be heard or disagree with him, that he'd pushed me and sent me shouty caps when i didnt like something he sent me, and that overall i didnt feel emotionally safe to meet him. At which i got another rant of him answering his own questions and referring to me as a 'fascist hypocrite'. Hurrah!

Bullet dodged.

How soon do you drop out when something rings a warning bell?

He does shift work and I'm pretty sure it was a night shift he booked off, to go out tonight. If he'd said in the beginning I can't get to you until X but can stay the night, ok. Or, I can come over midday but have got to leave at 11. But no. He has wasted his own day off. He knew my DS wouldn't be around until after school tomorrow. I give up!

Sounds like a total headfuck @TooOldForThis67 absolutely not worth your time. He's wasted this day off not you. He's text so late on to even sort plans. Tell him to go and have a dry wank and fuck off.

Sorry. I'm angry.

lifegoes - aww, thank you. I wasn't sure if it was me expecting too much! I feel v sad and disappointed.