Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

Totally agree, there is so much I don't know about him. I know a bit about his parents because he's asked my advice, I know about one of his ex's but that's about it.

I know what he likes to read, listen to that sort of thing but that isn't the sum of a person at all.

Exactly @SBD1 and knowing about them is different from knowing them imho. A wise friend once asked me if I knew what Mr S was having for his dinner. And if I didn't know something that simple how could I presume to know what he was thinking.

At least Mr Cactus eats the same thing every day for tea hahaha Chicken, Rice and Brocolli

Good points @Notcoolmum and @supercali77 on lovebombing.

It's a strange one because when it happened to me. I didn't see it, I really thought he was infatuated with me and I was with him. It felt too good to be true. But now when I look back it wasn't normally behaviour. Mine was so much future faking but more a high, he wanted to see me all the time. Talk to me all the time. Tell me everything. Within 2 weeks I felt I knew so much about him and I had told him things about myself.

But then I wonder, how can you know yourself that it's lovebombing or they are just genuinely interested.

I now run a mile if a guy acts the same way he did. Because the high is great, but the low is horrific.

Every single day @SBD1 ???? How odd!!

@onlymebutdifferent yes I will stay over on Thurs as she invited me, but I have said no expectations, one step at a time. However she hasn't dtd in over 2 years and is clearly wanting to so I have a feeling I won't be in the spare room.
Regarding questions, her grown up kids knew she was meeting me for a date, that seemed a good indicator that she's hopefully ready to date again. For now that's enough for me, and we'll take it one step at a time.

I'm dipping my toes back in again - and would appreciate a male point of view of my profile - it's short and to the point I think!

I've rejoined POF. Haven't been on there for months so I'd forgotten how bad it was.
I'm getting lots of views but very few messages. And the ones who message are either on the other side of the country or complete opposite of me/what I looking for.

Question for those who seem to have no problem getting irons. Do you message men first or do you just wait until they message you?

I used to message first but it never got me anywhere so I gave up trying. And I think that if they look but don't message then they aren't interested.

Hmm good question @EchoElephant
I never message first on tinder. The majority of the irons I've met have been through tinder so they have messaged first. But it's been a long time since I've had a message from tinder. It's gone very quiet on there. But i haven't really been swiping.

@Notcoolmum He likes consistency I guess, I mean he will eat different stuff when we go out for dinner but he takes ages to choose and most of the time I'm sat next to him poking him in the ribs to get him to hurry up.

@EchoElephant No I don't message first except on Bumble heh. I went back on POF for a short period but it was just baaaaad. Prefer Tinder and Bumble.

@Notcoolmum That's interesting because I usually message first on Tinder.
I assume that because we've matched then they must be a little bit interested (or just swiping right on everyone).
But on POF I've no idea if they accidentally looked at my profile/too shy to message/think no thanks etc

@supercali77 yes, POF is awful but I have had some decent dates from there over the years.
Never had any dates from Bumble in 4 years of using it on and off.
I like Tinder but it keeps crashing my phone at the moment so I can't use it until I can replace my phone.

Haven't RTFT, did enjoy reading the OP with the dating guidelines excellent advice, but have only come to say, the thread title! Wow! Spot on, and very funny

ant Miss Tiny sounds lovely but I’m sure you are aware there is a strong chance she just sees you as a stepping stone to get back in the saddle. Perhaps you’ve already discussed this with her?

@EchoElephant I'm assuming you've tried delete account + uninstall/reinstall?

Yes Cassettes I am aware and said the same tactfully yesterday, I'll be going slowly and not getting too invested until I'm convinced otherwise.
Well that's the plan anyway 😂

I only use bumble and tinder. On bumble the woman has to message first so it's not an issue for me so I often do it on tinder too. If they arent interested they wont bother replying - nothing lost 🤷‍♀️

@supercali77 thanks, yes, I've tried that with bells on. My phone is at the end of its life and can't cope with any apps.
I can get Tinder and upload a profile but as soon as I try and use it, my phone crashes/stops working.

Ok so MrEP wants to see me again. I will just be over there >>>>> giving myself a good talking to

@EchoElephant I generally don't message first, I only used Tinder after I got absolutely sick of PoF, literally bombarded with messages 2 minutes after I'd set my profile up and before I'd even managed to upload a pic!

@SBD1 I have a veggie biryani for lunch every day, I go wild on a Sunday and add some chopped egg.

Thats fab @whatwhywhen

Enjoy Thursday @Ant330, it’s very nerve wracking when it’s been that sort of time, so shes brave putting herself out there and asking you to stay/

@sidge well done, it's not easy being the one who calls it off, despite having feelings, but trusting your got instinct that it won't work later on. You've saved both of you from potentially much more heartache down the line, and that is the kindest thing you could have done.

@WhatWhyWhen that's fantastic!

@Sidge I'm really sorry it didn't work out

I had a date on Saturday with Miss MI6. She's really cool, funny and interesting. And despite being what I would consider attractive, there wasn't a spark. So I have let her down in as gentlemanly fashion today.

I have another a 2nd date in London tonight with Miss Samba (no prizes for guessing where she is from). Pretty, cute, intelligent (massively) and cool. Didn't sense much spark/flirtiness on date 1, so will see.

Good luck with Miss Tiny @Ant330

Update! I've discovered you can use Tinder through the website. Not great, you have to keep logging in to see matches & messages. But it's better than POF.
I'm off to do some swiping 😀