Dating thread 169: You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body...

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

Thread 169 open for business, roll up, roll up...

@BatshitCrazyWoman he seems very shy so we'll see how it goes. I have a couple of irons I'm chatting to do we have Mr Policeman, Mr IT and have a date with Mr Travels who's not the widower. I'm actually enjoying being back on the apps as I have lots of matches to work through and separate the wheat from the chaff.

@SBD1 I think you should enjoy it for what it is and keep both eyes well and truly open.

@WhatWhyWhen just remember that it's on MrEP that he's gone quiet and nothing to do with you or your body! You're the prize remember!

@supercali77 I have two irons. Mr Smart (had called him Irresistible) and Mr Young. Mr Smart is at the beginning of getting a divorce and has moved out of home. I was going to walk away and probably will at some point but going to see him for a bit. I'm keeping alert.

Freaking hormones though. I could happily walk away from from both now. Give me about 10 days and I'll be in a different state of mind.

How long has he been separated @ginmel? I'd have been over the moon if Mr Scouse had been starting his divorce. Do you think there's a chance of reconciliation or does it just feel too messy to get involved?

Hi all, can I join?

Been on and off the apps for a couple of months, split from stbxh at the back end of last year.

Had several irons chatting but one failed date (he didn't show, claimed he'd fallen asleep?! I blocked him because I don't have time for that shiz)

Have met someone, I'll call him Mr C. I asked him on a spur of the moment date last week, I guess I wanted to test if he'd actually show before I wasted any more time. We've had 4 dates in a week... I wasn't looking for a relationship at all, I'm now second guessing myself. Help or advice would be much welcomed.

Still chatting with 2 others (Mr S and Mr N) Mr S wants to meet asap, Mr N seems to just want to chat. I've come off everything for now as it gets overwhelming. Do I meet Mr S or see how things go with Mr C?

After 5 months 'with' MrSAS and not a single photo together, no mention of meeting each other's friends/family, etc, there may be photo on fb of MrAd and I while we were in London over the weekend...

He's told me he'd like me to meet some of his friends, if I want to in a couple of weeks and if things continue to go well he will meet mine at a party in a couple of months.

We're both trying to keep our sensible heads on as it's been 3 weeks but it feels like 3 months...crazy.

Sunshine does it feel comfortable? If so I'd go with it for now, although fb pics would be quite a step for me (more than meeting friends I think, how odd am I!)

@Notcoolmum Never dated before, in my early twenties I was a little tart - meet them, bang em, show them out the door. Met my ex and was with him for 8 years, split up with him last year and this is the first venture into dating.

I 100% get the "listen to what he's saying" so I'm in no way trying to skirt around that. I also know he was trying to have an honest conversation about his worries and wanted to work through them together. He's not the sort of person who would have had the conversation, decided he didn't want to be with me and then DTD. However....I'm not going to allow myself to get invested like I thought I might until he is. I'm not entirely sure how to do that, I think I'll hold off messaging him and just reply if he messages me. We don't really message anyway tbh. I was going to message him about Sunday's conversation but I'll talk to him face to face on Thursday. Although my fingers are itching to type a message

@amillionwishes Yes, it feels very comfortable...crazily so. I'm not a big fb user and it was him who put it up (with my permission) so not many of my friends have seen it. I feel fine about it though...it's just a photo, not a declaration of love or anything.

@shitwithsugaron Ah, that's lovely! I do have my feet on the ground...I am a sensible person really. I'm just enjoying the feeling

@Sunshineandflipflops to be honest I'm kind of in the same boat with Mr C, it's not how I expected it to go at all (I wasn't looking for a relationship) but it is what it is, I'm not going to fight it! I'm really pleased for you

@SBD1 not investing over messages is a good plan. It's easy to build up a false intimacy through messaging. It's useful, I find, to remind myself I don't know these men very well. After 4 weeks and assuming between 4 and 8 meetings there is a lot of ground yet to cover. Proceeding with caution is always wise.

I've had over 10 dates with Mr Bants over about 10 weeks. We message daily. But I don't know him and he doesn't really know me. We see a snapshot of each other's lives. We are friends on FB and insta!

Just catching up!

Lovely to read all the updates. @Sunshineandflipflops it all sounds wonderful - stay grounded but enjoy!

@Ant330 fingers crossed for you and Miss Tiny.

My news - I’ve switched off Mr Eagle. 😕 The little niggles that I’d overlooked became bigger niggles and I’ve realised we are in very different places. He is absolutely wonderful and I love him, but we don’t have a future together which is painful to realise.

I’m not used to being the heartbreaker, it’s normally me getting my heart broken.

@notcoolmum 6 months. Mr Smart has no interest in reconciling. I don't want to get involved in the details. It's not any of my business.

Here's a question. How do you tell the difference between love bombing and normal behaviour?

Oh @Sidge hat sounds difficult.

@Ginmel I wasn't suggesting you involve yourself in the details. I was wondering why you were so put off by this if he had been separated a while and moving things on. 6 months is quite new though.

Haha, I’ve taken up a new exercise regime to distract myself from going back on the apps! I now have an exercise app to distract me instead 😂 If I get fitter as a result, then great. I’m not in the right place to be dating right now and I think it’s been good to recognise that.

Sounds positive @SonataDentata what app are you using?

Sonato which exercise app? I need me some of that distraction!

Notcool it really helped to read that, we do get over carried away and need to remember we don’t know these people!

Sidge sorry to hear that

I’m doing Couch to 5K - used to run at school, years ago, and it’s been great to get back to it.

Oh that's a great app @SonataDentata I've used that. It really does work.

Ah that’s great to hear! It’s good to have goals. I like goals 😂

@lifegoes - for me the defining factors would be excess and speed. Big romantic gestures and declarations happening before you even know how they like their eggs in the morning.

@lifegoes that's an interesting question. And do you think we are aware of it when it happens to us?. I can see now that Mr S was guilty of future faking. At the time I just thought it was normal to discuss our future... he was also very intense and so in to me. When he ended things it was a huge shock. I'd always assumed he liked me more than I did him tbh.

Thanks @WhatWhyWhen it's been a learning curve for me. I wouldn't think I knew a friend really well after a handful of meetings so why do I assume I know an iron so well?

@notcoolmum exactly that. 6 months is no time at all especially when there is a kid involved.