Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Old nude pics to himself !?

136 replies

Tinker2010 · 27/08/2019 21:18

Hi there, first post ever and a confusing one!

In a nutshell married to hubby for 2 years, together 7 years, 2 children. Never any reason to distrust him and have what I consider to be a happy life together!

He gave me his phone yesterday to look back through his emails, searching for one that I sent him sent last year about a holiday.....

While searching around the dates, I noted 4 emails over the course of 2 days, sent FROM him via his other email account to himself on his current email account. The emails contained attachments with photos of his penis to be blunt. Very old photos from 8 or so yrs ago judging by the body! Before he met me take in old apartment. He now has a dad bod!

Emails were not forwarded to any body at all. Just from himself to himself.

Shocked, I asked him about it. He genuinely said he has no idea why the pics are there. He said he has not sent them to himself at all via his old account. He said only thing he can think of is his email has been hacked or mentioned maybe his old sd card has been hacked in his current phone!?!
Please domt laugh, I don't want to sound gullible. I'm not tech savvy at all so.... is this even possible?

He then really wanted to show me his phone, Facebook account etc as he was bewildered why this has happened and didn't want me to think the worst...and yet a little bit of me is to reiterate the emails were from 12 months ago. Never had any thoughts about him playing away etc then or now.

what do you think? Is it plausible?

OP posts:
FloatingObject · 28/08/2019 05:10

Meh. I have kept a few saucy pics of myself sent to lovers to look back on in my older age, but I wouldn't be hunting them out now, first of all, and also they're more general body and face shots. I wouldn't be holding on to vag shots for old times sake. I'm not really buying that these pics are about vanity, I'd expect more body plus nakedness shots if that was the case, not full front dick pics. Sorry.

chansondematin · 28/08/2019 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Needsomebottle · 28/08/2019 08:04

Sorry if the question has been posed but can't see that it has and not sure if you have asked him, but it's one thing saying he doesn't know anything about them being sent, insisting he was hacked etc but if it was sent to another of his accounts is he also suggesting that he doesn't recall receiving it and thinking "how in the hell have my old dick pics been sent to me from my other email?" Or is he also suggesting that someone then hacked his other email and read them and deleted them so he was unaware this had ever taken place?
Reeks of BS.

Needsomebottle · 28/08/2019 08:26

I'd also brace yourself for "I never downloaded kik! I must have been hacked!" And suspect if it's no longer installed that's why hes so confident you could look through his phone.

I'd be tempted to reinstall it and see if it automatically logs in.

Don't let him play you for a fool.

Unreasonable123 · 28/08/2019 09:04

If he’s downloaded kik then he’s defiantly been fucking around.

Only cheats use that app really!

itsmecathycomehome · 28/08/2019 09:28

"he said kik was on the phone when he had it. It's a work phone prev owned by colleague...."

We regularly exchange phones when colleagues leave, but always do a factory reset and restore it to an 'as new' condition to make sure nothing private can be accessed by the new owner; I very much doubt his claim that kik is on there because a previous owner downloaded it.

This coupled with your gut feeling (and you know him better than anyone), his anger, his 'colour draining' reaction when you found them and his ridiculous hacking/virus story all make me suspect the worst.

Why is it always the nudes and dick pics that surface when hit with a virus, not the pictures of grandma? And would hackers really hack his account, find an ancient picture, send it to the owner at a new email address, then access the new email address to delete it?

In terms of why he'd send them to that account: there are lots of good reasons to email yourself, as pp have outlined, but on this occasion it was probably a mistake. He was probably sending them to the third dodgy email address he uses and slipped up.

Another red flag : deleted emails do not just disappear, there should be something in the 'deleted emails' folder. Some people clear them out regularly, but it is unusual and on top of everything else it is suspicious.

PP suggesting it was vanity. Really? I could believe it if it was a full body mirror shot showing off his six pack, but a close up of his dick? Do they change so much in 8 years you need a comparison?

OhamIreally · 28/08/2019 09:29

You said his deleted items folder is empty? They don't empty themselves so he's been and emptied it.
Agree with PP regarding Kik - when I did online dating I would instantly block anyone saying message me on Kik because it was such a giveaway that they were a sleaze.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/08/2019 09:35

He said only thing he can think of is his email has been hacked
Oh dear god - another cheater who thinks us 'wimmin' are thick as pig shit.
And he has Kik on his phone.
Not good OP.

Ask again to see his phone.
Go into settings and then battery.
Not sure how it works on anything but an iphone but you can see in the battery usage where he has been spending his time.
So if he's been on Kik it will show a certain % usage over the last 24 hours or 7 days - there should be a tab to choose between the 2.

It doesn't look good though - sorry.

StillAgony · 28/08/2019 09:43

My exP had dick pics saved in his hotmail email..along with other porn images. I found them after finding a text from an ex swinging partner agreeing to see him again.
When we'd discussed exclusivity he agreed he most definitely just wanted to be with me. It took him just 9mths before he was texting other women for sex....
He also had kik on his phone...

Crossroads19 · 28/08/2019 09:56

I would definitely reinstall the app on his phone. There is no way a colleague has left kik on a work phone.

Alternatively if you do trust him, and think you would overlook sexting as a minor indiscretion stop torturing yourself.

Luckingfovely · 28/08/2019 09:59

The app is associated with the user's profile, not the hardware, so saying it's an old colleague is an outright lie.

Weevle84 · 28/08/2019 10:29

Yes luckingfovely is right, the app is associated with his Google play account rather than the actual phone so it has to have been downloaded using his personal profile. He is definitely lying about the colleague thing, there is no way that can be true.

Pinkarsedfly · 28/08/2019 10:34

If I had a pic of myself looking smoking hot
( I don’t and never had because I never did) I’d probably keep them for posterity.

We live in a narcissistic age 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mary1935 · 28/08/2019 10:56

I feel for you op. It’s not looking good.
I hope you have real life support.

83PL · 28/08/2019 11:25

If he's had the Kik app then I would be 99% sure he's sexting online. It's a messaging network but everyone I know who's ever used it (or been caught using it) has been doing so for that reason. It's perfect for cheaters....you delete the app and all pics/messages are deleted. The next time you want to use it, you download it again and you're ready to go.

ChuckleBuckles · 28/08/2019 11:45

@Tinker2010 Sadly I agree about the kik app, when I caught my ex cheating he had kik on his phone too, also found the usual nude pics of himself on his google drive, it just got worse from there Sad .

If his email is gmail and linked to his phone you can access his search history, which may reveal more. On his email go to the google apps button (it is nine dots, top right hand corner of email account) from there go to account, then data and personalization, from there my activity) it will show everything that he searched for online while the account was logged in, this is how I found my ex account on an escort site, he was the typical nice guy that had a second hidden life, used escorts for years without me knowing. I hope it does not come to that for you and all is innocent. Good luck.

BarbedBloom · 28/08/2019 12:43

If you saw kik download on the play store then he downloaded it unless he shares a play account with his previous colleague. The downloads bit on play only show things downloaded from the play store with that account, nothing to do with the phone hardware.

I think you have your answer there, he lied to you. I am guessing he had those photos on an old phone he is using to cheat, he sent them to his new email to forward on, deleted everything but missed one, which is why he went white. If his deleted items were empty then he emptied it that day unless he has kept every email for months.

My ex installed and uninstalled kik often so he could speak to women and then hide the evidence. If this was near the top of downloads it means he uninstalled it recently too

I'm sorry Flowers

BarbedBloom · 28/08/2019 12:45

Ps. The fact deleted items were empty means he did it knowing you were using the computer. He wiped everything just in case

LilouBlue · 28/08/2019 13:08

Reinstalling kik won't do anything, you won't be able to log in unless you have his details (it won't automatically sign in) and even if you managed to do that, all messages will be deleted because that's what it does when you log out of it.

Would just like to add, while cheaters DO use it, it doesn't mean everyone on it is a cheater. I used it when I was on dating apps and wanted to exchange messages with people offsite, but without revealing my number to people I didn't really know. Not that that is any help to OP because if her husband is on dating sites he is cheating, but just an important fact to point out.

I'm sorry OP, I don't know what you can do next. Now he knows you suspect he will be a lot more careful, if he is up to something.

Rubicon80 · 28/08/2019 13:22

@Luckingfovely

The app is associated with the user's profile, not the hardware, so saying it's an old colleague is an outright lie.

Yes, this is correct, the google play store is part of his Google account, nothing to do with the physical phone. Sorry op Flowers

JammieSplodger · 28/08/2019 13:28

ws.kik.com/p

Could try this OP. Good luck

Asta19 · 28/08/2019 15:05

I wouldn't have automatically assumed the worst but for his actions. Had he just laughed and said he'd sent them to himself as he misses his old fit self, I would have accepted that immediately. But the whole, colour draining from his face, the "hacking" lie (god that one is as old as the hills!) and then the anger when you "dared" to speak to him again about it.

He would have probably forwarded them to himself to download on his phone. Maybe they were originally saved on a laptop or old phone or whatever. I've done the same to send pics from my samsung to my ipad and vice versa.

In your position, I think you have to think about where your line is. It seems unlikely he was going to meet these people in person due to sending the older pics of himself. But, it seems highly likely that he did send pics to someone. For some, that is already crossing the line. He is never ever going to admit to anything now so you're stuck.

When the emails were sent was there anything else going on in your lives? I'm not saying he has any excuse for what he did but if the timing of the emails fits the timing of some memorable period of time, that could be more conclusive.

Unreasonable123 · 28/08/2019 15:45

Access his email .. both of them.

Use the link above and see if you get a new password come through.

Change the password, download kik and log onto his account.

On the main screen click on the + in the top right corner and then find people.. down comes a list of everyone he’s added / spoke to

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 28/08/2019 16:22

My God, Unreasonable123 is a genius.

Notallitseemstobe · 28/08/2019 20:07

It will show a huge list of people though if he's been in kik groups, that he may have not spoken to.

And what, speaking to people in a group is a crime?