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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Break up support thread 2

999 replies

Jonsnowsghost · 21/08/2019 21:16

Carrying on the supportive previous thread that ran out of space!
@herbsmokedchicken definitely that, although I wouldn't as I'm not a cheat....

OP posts:
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9
TinselAndKnickers · 24/08/2019 14:48

Ignore him!!!! Idiot Angry can't have his cake and eat it.

Original poster
Jonsnowsghost · 24/08/2019 15:22

Sigh...he's still away/with her/whatever (assuming) and still watching my instagram stories within an hour....even when I posted another a couple of hours after the first one... what is he doing.
He's posted one (thanks Instagram for showing me that when he's on my seen list...) but I'm not watching, as much as I want to see what he's been up to

OP posts:
TinselAndKnickers · 24/08/2019 17:40

Just driven past him. Think he saw me Shock

Parked on his road for a charity event so hope to fucking god I don't see him. I missed him by about 10 seconds - if it had been earlier he would have seen me on his road with another male friend. Jesus BlushBlush

Mumcomehere · 24/08/2019 17:43

I have spent the whole day out, new hair cut the works:)

I obviously have thought about him today, but hes not consuming all my thoughts and time. Reading from when I first posted I can see how far myself and you girls have come.

As you know I've deleted everything, but why can I still see him as a phone number on WhatsApp?

herbsmokedchicken · 24/08/2019 17:50

I’ve been out doing lots of family stuff on my family holiday and think I’m too shattered to be sad! Do think about him tho, a lot, all day. Imagining us here together Sad

Mumcomehere · 24/08/2019 17:51

I sorted the WhatsApp thing, hes now totally gone forever

Kumali · 24/08/2019 17:57

Can I join.. Feeling awful and lonely. We used to text and call constantly. No point even looking at my phone now.. Can't imagine ever feeling better..

Mumcomehere · 24/08/2019 19:09

@Kumali come and rant, you dont need to be lonely, were all here for support, i know you dont believe it at the moment, you will get through this Flowers

TinselAndKnickers · 24/08/2019 20:01

Can't believe I saw him earlier. I think he saw me too but I don't know Sad miss him unbearable amounts!!

herbsmokedchicken · 24/08/2019 20:12

I’m feeling better in so many ways but I still just feel the absence of him, the fact that he is Not Here. I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. He’s not mine anymore.

herbsmokedchicken · 24/08/2019 20:55

Those of us who are at the stage of feeling a bit better, do you ever have moments where you’re just chilling, on MN or whatever, and then you suddenly remember and you feel any sense of happiness or contentment fade away? I get that sometimes. Like sometimes it suddenly hits me and I freak out and cry but like just now, I was reading a post and it wasn’t like a big “OMG!” moment but I just quietly thought about and felt any happiness leech out of me. And now I’m just sad but like...quietly sad. Happened a few times.

Original poster
Jonsnowsghost · 24/08/2019 21:17

Yes, all the time! It's like my brain is like...oh wait remember that all this shit happened

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herbsmokedchicken · 24/08/2019 21:18

Yeah and sometimes I’ll actually be feeling quite content and then it just gets replaced by sadness

Mumcomehere · 24/08/2019 21:54

@herbsmokedchicken I feel that to, but also shows me, that I'm no longer constantly thinking about him.

I have done some reflecting tonight, on what's happened, and although it hurts, I do believe everything happens for a reason, I'm thankful I found out now, rather than further down the line when we could of been married (that was in the pipeline).

I am so glad I deleted him off everything, I thought it would soul destroying, but it's a actually made me feel better in a way, I cant stalk him, and I'm not tempted to message him, because I cant.

There are various things of his still around the house, that will either be needed to be packed away or gotten rid of, I do need to erase everything 100%.

I do need to find something to fill this void I'm feeling, anyone know of any good games to download?

feistymumma · 24/08/2019 22:46

Feeling so tempted to message him right now. I sent him a letter last week explaining why I had ended things and his reply was rather sweet actually. I know he is no good for me as a boyfriend but I wouldn't mind friendship as he is a good friend. I just could never consider a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him ever again.

feistymumma · 24/08/2019 22:47

Or I am being fooled / was fooled by his reply, it's so difficult.

TinselAndKnickers · 24/08/2019 23:11

What sort of things did he say?

TinselAndKnickers · 25/08/2019 02:06

Cannot stop sobbing. Proper ugly snotty crying. Miss him SO much and today I wanted to just stop the car and run out to talk to him Sad

I doubt he'll ever change his mind.

Mumcomehere · 25/08/2019 08:22

Morning all

Tinsel, your doing so well, your having a wobble, focus on why It finished.

How is everyone else feeling?

Original poster
Jonsnowsghost · 25/08/2019 08:56

Really down today, woken up in such a sad mood. I want to tell him how much I miss him again but I did literally last week and he didn't care.
Just the thought that he will be with her again today and probably tomorrow too when I don't want them to be together, it's so hard I should hate him but I really don't, I want him more than anything

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Mumcomehere · 25/08/2019 09:12

@Jonsnowghost You can get through this, I know you miss him, but he doesn't miss you, hes a cheat, he didnt give a fuck about you or your feelings when he was cheating on you. You need to be focusing and looking after yourself, hes really not worth all this pain. You deserve someone who is going to respect you, and love you so much, and that person is out there, but it's not him.
Have you deleted him off everything?

MissYeti · 25/08/2019 09:17

Been a shit couple days here. Ex took DS for the first time yesterday and stuck a shitty post on FB about how he hopes it's not 2 weeks til he sees him next. My Mum got a shitty email from his mum about how I'm being unreasonable with the amount of contact so I sent a suitably shitty message back. I feel like I'm being attacked from every corner for what HE did. I didn't leave, I didn't abandon DS but I'M the one in the wrong.

Ex is supposed to message if he wants DS during the week. HIS arrangement. He hasn't done it at all so far so he would see his son more often if he got off his lazy was.

Got fed up with it last night. Mum sent him a message about the access arrangement and I ended up with a bunch of shitty texts and a phone call from him. Think it lasted about 30 seconds before I hung up on him. I don't need all the abuse when I'm trying to sort shit out with my son's best interests in mind.

Have blocked his number now. If he wants to talk to me he has to go through my mum. Cant believe 2 weeks ago I thought this knob was my soulmate

MissYeti · 25/08/2019 09:18

Lazy ass*

Mumcomehere · 25/08/2019 09:24

MissYeti hes being a twat and now blaming you, he kows hes in the wrong, but to make himself feel better, hes making you out to be the bitch, makes him feel better. Stick to your guns, keep him blocked. Your doing so well, at least your ds has one parent he can rely on, your doing amazing.

herbsmokedchicken · 25/08/2019 09:38

Morning all. Sounds like it’s not a great morning for us again, I’m sending you all good vibes!

I’m on day...5? Of not sobbing so I guess I’m doing better but still just feel lost and sad. I just thought we were so perfect.

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