I'm so tired of chasing him,I'm a girls wreck..what do I do?

[serenadee]

I've been dating him since may but I've never dated anyone as confusing as him.
He blows hot and cold and I have no idea where I stand or how many others he's chatting too.
He hasn't gave me the time of day really since Thursday/Friday and I've had to imitate convo since.
I messaged him this morning,a few reply's then he didn't answer my last.
Last night I asked if he wanted to meet for drinks he said yes ..I asked when he was free he said Friday.
Some days we have good chats back and forth and it seems like he wants to chat then he has spells where I feel like he doesn't want too.
I text him on his lunch at work asking if he wants to grab food too on Friday and he replied "where" then I showed him a place.
He has been on WhatsApp since and not looked at my message.
I'm stressed and fed up with this.
I like him but I can't stand this,I was up all night,couldn't sleep.
Today I've been sick all morning worrying.
I don't know what i do wrong when he goes quiet on me.

Look up intermittent reinforcement in relationships, it’ll explain the pattern of what’s happening. Ask yourself if any of this is making you happy.
If a man wants you, you’ll know about it, the time you’re wasting with this one is time you could be investing in yourself.
I have to echo others postings, I don’t think you have any business being in a relationship at the moment. You need to be focusing on getting your mental health stabilised. And get some more counselling.
I’m not sure of what your situation is, but most women would be well served by establishing a secure life for themselves with a good support network around them, a job, hobbies that bring them joy, that make up a whole fulfilling life of their own. Don’t depend on having a relationship for your happiness.

You have had some great advise so far and I agree you need to pull back some what and let him contact you first, even if it takes 2/3 days to hear from him. All the time you are initiatung first you are boosting his ego yet making yourself feel like shit. I had this and I felt better pulling back some control by not txting first! It was hard but it worked , give it a go , if you don't hear again his loss but at least u will know where u stand , good luck OP!

He is showing you his interest and you’re not paying attention. Don’t contact him and see what happens

YOU ARE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF.

@Mummy0ftwo12

I wish I could, but the only way I got better was by having counselling for the depression and anxiety. Sorry!

Ah rule number one.

Have a basket. Fill it with eggs, throw out the rotten ones, repeat until it works :D

How are you doing @serenadee ?

Hope you're ok

Until you put yourself first, a prospective partner won't either.

The bugger of it is that you'll need to learn how to do that, which takes time. I'd investigate signing up for therapy, and then take things from there.

@Mummy0ftwo12 - Try "The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other" by James Hollis - a book I've recommended many times on this board.

Hello, I know it's been a while but I was wondering how it all ended? Hopefully you're feeling better and you managed to focus on what YOU want instead of what he wants.
Don't put your worth in men's hands, waiting for them to choose you. Put your worth in your own hands. You get to decide what you deserve and what you will put yourself through.

Good luck

He’s a dickhead and he’s controlling your emotions already.

Ditch him.

[quote serenadee]@gottagetouttahere yeah we've been out about 8-9 times now.[/quote]
All this drama for a few weeks and a handful of dates? Just dump him already.

Oh - just seem that this is an old thread! It came up in my “active” hence the comment! Wouldn’t have bothered otherwise!

Oh FGS ZOMBIE thread.

WTF are you doing reanimating this pile of drivel after a whole year @Amanishakheto ?!

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to have free will. Sorry for existing and bothering you on a Saturday morning. It won't happen again.

It’s just annoying as hell to reactivate a thread and trick everyone into responding, thinking it’s a current discussion. Especially given it was such a circular thread in the first place.

But you carry on being a stroppy juvenile @Amanishakheto 🙄

Yes your highness

ODFOD

TBF @ArriettyJones you were being a bit aggressive in your post. So it's quite funny you're calling @Amanishakheto juvenile. Lol

Hi op have you wrote on her before ? I'm sure it has rung a bell . Sorry if I'm completely wrong but did his wife die. ? I know you don't want
To hear this but I would call it a day ❤️ you never might hear from him again or maybe he will realise that he does in fact want to have a relationship with you once you ain't chasing him . Don't ruin another day worrying about this . Get up dressed and get out , talk to friends . Maybe a nice walk on the beach if you can . I always go there wen my heads in a shed xxx

@Amanishakheto

Hello, I know it's been a while but I was wondering how it all ended? Hopefully you're feeling better and you managed to focus on what YOU want instead of what he wants. Don't put your worth in men's hands, waiting for them to choose you. Put your worth in your own hands. You get to decide what you deserve and what you will put yourself through.

Good luck

It's been a year.................

@Amanishakheto

What horrible responses you are getting !
There is nothing wrong with asking what happened in an old thread . I remember this one too and I’d like to know how it turned out .

This relationship doesn’t work for you. Finish it. All of this nonsense over a bloke you’ve been seeing for a couple of months! It’s no good. All of this is unacceptable and not ok. Finish it and get yourself into therapy for anxiety and self esteem. Once you’ve done a year of therapy and can be your own individual/strong person then date.

@Amanishakheto nothing wrong at all with asking someone how they are after tsome time has passed. Not your fault if people can't look at that date in the corner or read a full thread. They're getting irritated with the wrong person....

Jesus arrietta you woke up on the wrong side of the bed 😂 iv been curious a few times
Too to see how people are doing . People can write when and what they want on here don't like it find an new forum