Has anyone ever heard of a Twin Flame and if so can I hear your experiences please?

[Inappropriatefemale]

As above then I have recently found out that there’s such a thing as a Twin Flame, this is apparently more than a soul mate, I’m not sure if I have found mine so I would like to hear about your experiences with your twin flame, if you have any?

Thanks, IF x

Ahh apologies I thought you meant that you thought I was likening it to Cathy and Heathcliff!

From the videos I’ve seen on YT then it does seem like using the Twin Flames is an excuse to allow someone to treat you badly, or allows you to treat someone badly, and some of the comments on YT sounded the same.

I was more interested in some of the ‘signs’ they said made someone your TF when really, it’s just signs that you fancy someone!

When I was 23 then I met a guy that I went onto have a relationship with and when I met him then I swear to god I knew that he’s become my boyfriend but I think that’s because there was a mutual attraction, and I reckon most people have experienced this, anyway he went on to be the worst boyfriend I’ve ever had, very abusive both physically and mentally, so according to the videos on YT then this man would be classed as my TF! No thanks.

"intense relationships founded on ‘turbulence, trauma and pain'" = traumatic bonding and co-dependence.

Not romantic.

[Sigh]

The New Age movement has a lot to answer for when it comes to shit like this. I should know: I used to believe in it.

In reality, what people refer to as Twin Flames is simply the phenomenon of one person's unconscious connecting powerfully with another's. This is typically wound-based stuff - the pain of childhood experiences - which has understandably been repackaged to avoid the stark reality of two people who aren't yet able to deal with formative and often traumatic repressed feelings.

So. Not particularly romantic.

Missed your post @category12 - looks like our thinking is pretty much in sync!

When people believe this kind of bollocks it makes me wonder if they've ever experienced the realities of a long term relationship. Bill paying, doing housework, not always feeling like jumping each other...

Thanks for that link @ZenNudist - love love Tim Minchin and that really sums up my thoughts on the matter!

I understand the emotions behind it.

I guess using the word to label the intensity of this last relationship ill ever have, So ill say I do. We don't just complete others sentences, Oh hell no. We make same sarcastic remarks at the same time when just watching tv, 2 INFJs for those in the know this is rare. And I know for a fact not one other male on this planet could even come close.

I was a Commitment phobic serial dater was never the same after I met him. I was patient and got rewarded :D

IMO, soulmates is a concept created by people so desperate to be in a LTR that they'll put up with shit because they've decided someone is their "soulmate". In truth, some people are just more compatible than others.

Oh dear OP. You've been given a bit of stick. I can see why but, yeah.

Ok. I'll tell you what I think based on what you've said.

You're attracting narcissists because you have strong, empathic traits. Reasons for this are;

1 - You're attraction to the TF concept shows you are a love devotee and a romantic idealist.

2 - Intense, early relationship which was abusive.

3 - current on off relationship where you are being continually shelved.

Its vital you take a step back and work on spotting red flags.

Good luck OP.

@ZenNudist

Tim Minchin was my first thought as well.

(Maybe we're twin flames )

'Utter tripe. Same goes for "soulmates".'

This. With bells on. Total fantasy.

75Renarde - spot on.

I just googled it, it sounds like the basis of every single YA novel, ever.

“Having the same dreams at the same time”.

Stop it right now

Thanks! @BertieBots

The relationship I’m talking of was not abusive at all! Why do you assume this? I was the person that did wrong, not him!

When I spoke of my relationship when I was 23 then that’s not the man I’m talking about, what I was saying that according to the TF signs then this abusive man would have been my TF, not the first guy I said!

I’ve never been out with a narcissist in my life, yes a man was abusive but narcissist he wasn’t!

I’m nowhere near an empath, obviously you only know what I’ve written here but I’m not an empath, I’d probably be a more understanding person if I was!

I’m out of here now because I’m sick of getting insulted, all I bloody asked was if anyone believes in it and now I’m some silly little girl who is a bit of a dreamer and an empath and have relationships with narcissists!

Hey hey! I'm not criticising you for the TF idea! I just started that you like it!

All abusive relationships are perpetrated by narcs. All!

Can you not see that newish guy is picking you up and putting you down when it suits him?

No because the last time he made contact I was in a relationship so he would have been a fool to keep ringing me, and I slept with someone he knows very well a few months after that (whilst I was in relationship with someone) and he found out and this is probably why he didn’t get back to me when I wrote to him to offer condolences about his father dying.

Possibly, or another explanation is that when he attempted the Hoover, he realised it wouldn't work and disengaged.

I can see you love him. I know this is hard.

I do to be honest and I’m sick of my good friend telling me ‘forget about him’ as if I can just switch off from him, I know she has my best interests at heart but nobody can just forget otherwise nobody would ever be hurt because we could just move on, maybe I need to meet someone else but I’m not the type of person just to go out with any guy that asks her, I have been asked out but I just wasn’t interested, although not because of the guy, just because I didn’t like the other guy!

I've had friends like that. They assume it's the easiest thing in the world as you say.

Well there’s nothing I can do, and I do believe in ‘what’s for you won’t go by you’ (sometimes anyway as I would imagine lots of things go past us that we were meant for) and I’ll just continue to live my life.

The thing is though if I meet someone else and forget all about him then does this mean that I never really loved him?

In my last relationship then he was always there in the background but I liked my boyfriend though, but as soon as that relationship ended then he came to the forefront of my mind again, maybe I just like having a man to think about, who knows.

Again, I've been in love with a guy and it didn't work out. Took me a long time to get over him but I did. I'm now with another man who in love dearly.

Im sure it will be the same for you too.

It’s an awful feeling isn’t it, the thing is is that before I told him I was in a relationship then he had been contacting me and I was ignoring him and he sent a “do you know what? you contact me when you can fit me in”, and this was a couple of months after I told his Dad I loved him, I really liked his Dad and was introduced to him when I went out with his son, anyway the point is that I had major doubts about him because I think I was scared of my feelings for him, it’s so much harder to jump straight in ‘just because’ I had feelings for him, when 10 years before that I wouldn’t have given it a second thought and jumped straight in but I’m guarded now as I don’t think I could handle being hurt again, and I think this is why I cheat, it’s like a defence mechanism, pathetic but true, I have cheated in all my relationships, whether it be a drunken snog in the pub or actually sleeping with a guy then I think “he’s gonna do it eventually so I’m gonna do it” and I never ever like, it even fancy the guy that I cheat with, it’s really bad.

I was brought up in cheating, my then Stepdad was sleeping with lots of one night stands behind my mothers back and she used to tell me and I was only 12, so right then I basically had it drummed into me ‘men aren’t to be trusted’.

Oh my lovely!

In light of the above - well its understandable that you are attracted to the concept of TF! Your mum set you such a fucking rotten example